Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 81 to 120 of 128

Thread: Introverted Aggressors

  1. #81
    hatesyardwork's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    USA
    TIM
    Gamma
    Posts
    261
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GuavaDrunk View Post
    I'm reasonably direct about approaching people and talking, but I don't have the *ahem* weightiness to just jump on them.

    One thing that could be a built-in* response to introverted aggression is that if I discover someone reasonably unobjectionable looking at me interestedly, then I have no qualms about going up and saying hi.

    They have to be direct about it too though. If their interest is too ambiguous, or morphs into some variety of blank-faced, disinterested evasiveness when I chat to them, then I'm straight out of Compton. Ain't got the time or interest to *convince* people to be interested in me. *psht*

    *Socionics rules all.
    Hear Hear!
    Blank faced evasiveness is not an effective method of maintaining my interest as well. I tend to view myself as the prize, which keeps me quite single.

  2. #82
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    So I saw this woman at a place I visit who is attractive in an ESI-Se way, so I started to flirt with her whenever I passed her desk. By flirting, I mean, going out of my way to say something fairly normal to her. Like, "Where is a good place to eat around here?", or "What are the rates for renting a space in this building?", and "If I go out the front doors, can you let me back in?" (High security building, I guess...)
    She pretty much didn't respond to me any more than absolutely required, and even then, she looked at me like I was potentially trouble and almost certainly of bad moral character. I got pretty discouraged at her uniformly taciturn responses. I kind of figured that she thought I was a creep. Which I am, but a nice creep. Still, I persisted.
    Last week, I asked her if she worked full time and what her hours were? She said she did work full time from eight to four. I said, "Oh", in a disappointed way. "So you work through lunch." and walked away while she just stared at me.
    Today, I followed her into the break room and said "I'd like to take you out.."
    "Yes"
    "..to lunch."

    Introverted aggressors.

    Now to see if we can agree on a day, since she said her schedule was pretty full.

    I gave her my name and phone number and address, so she probably has my dental records and last few deposit amounts into my 401k by now. We shall see if that deters her.

  3. #83
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,968
    Mentioned
    702 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    So I saw this woman at a place I visit who is attractive in an ESI-Se way, so I started to flirt with her whenever I passed her desk. By flirting, I mean, going out of my way to say something fairly normal to her. Like, "Where is a good place to eat around here?", or "What are the rates for renting a space in this building?", and "If I go out the front doors, can you let me back in?" (High security building, I guess...)
    She pretty much didn't respond to me any more than absolutely required, and even then, she looked at me like I was potentially trouble and almost certainly of bad moral character. I got pretty discouraged at her uniformly taciturn responses. I kind of figured that she thought I was a creep. Which I am, but a nice creep. Still, I persisted.
    Last week, I asked her if she worked full time and what her hours were? She said she did work full time from eight to four. I said, "Oh", in a disappointed way. "So you work through lunch." and walked away while she just stared at me.
    Today, I followed her into the break room and said "I'd like to take you out.."
    "Yes"
    "..to lunch."

    Introverted aggressors.

    Now to see if we can agree on a day, since she said her schedule was pretty full.

    I gave her my name and phone number and address, so she probably has my dental records and last few deposit amounts into my 401k by now. We shall see if that deters her.
    Wait, so do you have a date now or not?
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  4. #84
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Wait, so do you have a date now or not?
    Damn, Medusa. I wish you'd settle on one name.

    Well, she said she wants to go out with me. But then she launched into a flurry of descriptions of her obligations and her schedule and the things she thought she might do, so I just gave her my contact info and she can think about it. She did say Thursday might work. But maybe not Thursday this week.

    You can see what is happening here. ESI's have weak Ni (intuition of possibilities), and make up for it by drawing on their history with a person. But she has no history with me, although she likes what she sees so far. But I could be an ax-murderer! Or she could fall in love with a high quality guy (which is how I overheard an IEI describing me yesterday). Or she could wind up dead in a ditch! Or on a great vacation! Or a spinster!

    "Yes No Yes No. What to do?" She wants but she fears. (I think this weak Ni is why so many ESI's are e6.) Helping to resolve this uncertainty is what LIE's can do for ESI's. We offer them just one assured, safe future, and then they can consider the flaws and decide to go with it or not. (And if not, we offer them another one. Lol.) But without that confident assurance, they are forever suspicious of your motives. Even with that, they are suspicious of your motives.

    Anyway, to answer your question, I don't really know if I have a date or not. She may look me up and decide No for one reason or another. I might have to meet her friends and family first. Who knows? I guess I'll find out in the next week or so.

  5. #85
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,968
    Mentioned
    702 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Damn, Medusa. I wish you'd settle on one name.

    Well, she said she wants to go out with me. But then she launched into a flurry of descriptions of her obligations and her schedule and the things she thought she might do, so I just gave her my contact info and she can think about it. She did say Thursday might work. But maybe not Thursday this week.

    You can see what is happening here. ESI's have weak Ni (intuition of possibilities), and make up for it by drawing on their history with a person. But she has no history with me, although she likes what she sees so far. But I could be an ax-murderer! Or she could fall in love with a high quality guy (which is how I overheard an IEI describing me yesterday). Or she could wind up dead in a ditch! Or on a great vacation! Or a spinster!

    "Yes No Yes No. What to do?" She wants but she fears. (I think this weak Ni is why so many ESI's are e6.) Helping to resolve this uncertainty is what LIE's can do for ESI's. We offer them just one assured, safe future, and then they can consider the flaws and decide to go with it or not. (And if not, we offer them another one. Lol.) But without that confident assurance, they are forever suspicious of your motives. Even with that, they are suspicious of your motives.

    Anyway, to answer your question, I don't really know if I have a date or not. She may look me up and decide No for one reason or another. I might have to meet her friends and family first. Who knows? I guess I'll find out in the next week or so.
    My identity keeps changing, Ip (or just not Ne PoLR) stuff.

    Hm I see. First of, intuition of possibilities is . ^^' So you are technically commenting on an ESI's weak Ne.

     
    A woman who claims she is "busy" is often just not interested enough, though if she does have a full schedule and give you a more specific time when she would be free, that means more likely she is both actually busy and interested. A woman who is interested will make it work, busy schedule or not.

    So yeah, I guess she might feel the need to google you first, especially if she doesn't know anything about you. I'd say a lot of women are hesitant to go on a date with a complete stranger. So it is a good idea to keep showing up at the place, so that she gets used to you. Though you wouldn't have to talk with her whenever you are there, sometimes you could just give her a wink or a friendly look when you are there haha, and then you leave and give her something to think about.

    Another somewhat sneaky thing you could do is bring a good (ideally happily taken) friend with you and introduce your friend to her, then excuse yourself and temporarily leave the two alone. Ideally your friend is going to tell her some things about you, positive things. Even better, she asks your friend out of curiosity and he answers positively. After a while you come back and leave with your friend again, saying you are busy.

    This kind of move both makes her know more about you, gives her the impression you are "safe" and not a creep, etc.


    Anyway, good luck.
    Last edited by Olimpia; 09-06-2017 at 07:54 PM.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  6. #86
    Honorary Ballsack
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    3,366
    Mentioned
    109 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    My identity keeps changing, Ip (or just not Ne PoLR) stuff.
    Identity does not change, only discovers additional layers and incorporates them. Different aspects, tunnels, perceptions, etc. Gotta love it.
    Important to note! People who share "indentical" socionics TIMs won't necessarily appear to be very similar, since they have have different backgrounds, experiences, capabilities, genetics, as well as different types in other typological systems (enneagram, instinctual variants, etc.) all of which also have a sway on compatibility and identification. Thus, Socionics type "identicals" won't necessarily be identical i.e. highly similar to each other, and not all people of "dual" types will seem interesting, attractive and appealing to each other.

  7. #87
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Wait, so do you have a date now or not?
    Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.


  8. #88

    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    TIM
    LSI-Se sx
    Posts
    4,697
    Mentioned
    507 Post(s)
    Tagged
    25 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

    Good luck!!

  9. #89
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,968
    Mentioned
    702 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

    Sounds good.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  10. #90
    hatesyardwork's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    USA
    TIM
    Gamma
    Posts
    261
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

    How'd it go?

  11. #91
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hatesyardwork View Post
    How'd it go?
    It went great. She's a wonderful person with her head screwed on right and she has good priorities with regard to family and friends. However, when I asked for another date, she said, "In six weeks."
    So her lack of interest, plus her instinct stack, which I'm guessing is so/sp/sx and is not that compatible with my sx/so/sp, means that we won't have a third date.

    Persistence is overrated.

    Note: ^This was almost a year ago. I've since bumped into her and she seems open to another lunch date, but I don't think I'm that desperate for company at this point.

  12. #92
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Introverted Aggressor (who is actually interested in a relationship) meets Extroverted Victim:


  13. #93
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Beyond the blue horizon
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    13,165
    Mentioned
    171 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm not sure if I qualify as an introverted aggressor, but it's probably safe to say I'm an aggressive introvert.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  14. #94
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I sometimes stop in at a Kroger's grocery store after work to pick up a few things, so I'm still in my work clothes and I'm definitely overdressed for Krogers, but it is not efficient for me to go home, change, then go back just to wear a different costume.
    I typically go through the self-checkout lane, and the woman who attends the eight or twelve checkout stations is an LSI. She has had her eye on me for months. I typically just smile at her as I drop off my shopping basket.
    Yesterday, I was buying a bunch of celery which didn't have a price code on it. I was standing there with one hand holding the celery and the other hand hesitating over the checkout touch screen, when she suddenly appeared right next to me, stuck her arm between me and the screen, tapped in the code for celery, and turned to me with her face inches from mine and breathed out "I GOTCHA!"

    Lol. I thought, "This might have worked if I hadn't had two previous LSI GF's."



    What is gradually becoming clear to me is that Aggressors want to do the Choosing, while Victims do the Refusing. Which is not my preference as a Victim, because whoever does the choosing in games of choice has the better outcome, but it is hard to go against the natural course of things.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-08-2020 at 02:11 PM.

  15. #95
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,246
    Mentioned
    107 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Adam Strange In my experience, ESIs seem to exhibit such spontaneous behaviour toward people to whom they're attracted. LSIs seem more reserved or timid when it comes to approaching those they desire; when they're not that attracted, approaching doesn't seem to be a problem at all - but close-up gestures don't seem all that LSI-like in either case. However, I wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two types by appearance alone.....

    a.k.a. I/O

  16. #96
    Dark Rainbow bouncingoffclouds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Location
    Psychedelic Dream Castle in Outer Space
    TIM
    E4, sx/so
    Posts
    1,126
    Mentioned
    47 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Would subtly flashing your cleavage at someone in a "it wasn't intentional way" count
    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

  17. #97
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    @Adam Strange In my experience, ESIs seem to exhibit such spontaneous behaviour toward people to whom they're attracted. LSIs seem more reserved or timid when it comes to approaching those they desire; when they're not that attracted, approaching doesn't seem to be a problem at all - but close-up gestures don't seem all that LSI-like in either case. However, I wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two types by appearance alone.....

    a.k.a. I/O
    In my limited experience, LSI's are much more aggressive than ESI's when they decide they want someone.

    When I first met the woman who would become my second LSI GF, I invited her out to dinner because I liked her personality and I absolutely did not intend for us to become close; I just wanted a platonic female friend that I could take to dinner sometimes. I even told her that I was looking for someone, but that someone was not her. Lol. She was offended at first, but then considered the honesty of that statement (because LSI's value the truth over anything else) and started making plans.
    When I dropped her off at the door to her place, I went to shake her hand, and she grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a kiss, which I did not expect.

    I have almost no experience with ESI's, but none of the one's I've known have been quite that aggressive. They seem to feel violated when chased and practically inert when around the object of their desire.

    ESI's don't even like to be complimented, IME. They seem to prefer to exist in a space where they are being used to advantage and the user expresses enthusiasm for the project, not for them. They don't like to be looked at closely.

    I met a female ESI e9, about 24, at the book checkout at the local library. She looked at my book choices and asked me if I'm interested in Psychology, and I told her that I have a degree in Astrophysics but I am interested in people.
    For example, She, I told her, had her personality shine out of her face, and I could tell that she was introverted, divided people into two categories; the Good and the Bad, (and her face started into a very suppressed smile and at the same time twisted into something very weird) and that she had strong artistic tendencies. She said, "You are right. And you're freaking me out." She thought she could hide forever. Nope. Not from a dual. She just wanted to work enough to get some money, and then spend the rest of her time figuring out how to get her hair into some acceptable style.
    I wrote down the words "Stratiyevskaya" and "ESI" for her to Google, and she enthusiastically said she'd definitely check that out.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-09-2020 at 12:05 AM.

  18. #98
    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    14,864
    Mentioned
    825 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    They seem to feel violated when chased and practically inert when around the object of their desire.
    I could understand needing in some cases to initiate, but if you have to chase (ie repeatedly ask, put forth romantic intentions on several separate occasions), it seems an "aggressor" must have not been interested and thus see you as pestering? As for the inertia..I saw you marked my post constructive a long time ago, but you must have decided it should be overwritten based on your experiences with ESIs not pursuing you.

  19. #99
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    I could understand needing in some cases to initiate, but if you have to chase (ie repeatedly ask, put forth romantic intentions on several separate occasions), it seems an "aggressor" must have not been interested and thus see you as pestering? As for the inertia..I saw you marked my post constructive a long time ago,
    Link? Not sure what you are referring to.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    but you must have decided it should be overwritten based on your experiences with ESIs not pursuing you.
    ESI's do seek me out, but so far, they have all been male. It's easy to tell when a guy is making an excuse to talk to you about some work-related subject.
    I haven't seen many female ESI's doing the same thing, but I haven't been interacting with age-appropriate ESI's very much, so it's no surprise that they aren't stepping in front of me.

    *EDIT*
    Lol at the "pestering" comment. The magnificent EJ Arendee said that in order to seduce an ESI,
    "Hit on them once or twice, until they know that you exist, then ignore them. Never look at them again. They no longer exist. They'll do the rest of the work."

    No pestering allowed, obviously.

  20. #100

  21. #101
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post

    my "flirting" would be better categorized in my mind as testing the waters. i feel super shy about playful banter stuff because i'm not great at coming up with cute remarks off the cuff so if i engage in that i'm probably not particularly concerned with how i'm coming across (so likely not interested). its more like a hand on the arm or a certain kind of eye contact or a stand-alone compliment or statement. not intended to be obvious or "hitting on" him but just to gauge his reaction to see if i feel safe being more direct later. and once i've established that, i have a history of being sort of unsettlingly direct because in my mind its like: okay, time to suck it up and let him know, here goes. not extremely suave but i just feel like it has to be done. a frank: "i'm into you and i wanna go out with you" thing. subdued and clear and usually not flirty. it might not be typical for all isxjs but i could attribute it to se-creative getting nervous about ambiguity and the future and just wanting to get it on the table and clear and simple. sometimes he catches on and asks me out first which is convenient but it's nice to not feel like i'm sitting on a secret. which is why i kinda suck at the games girls are supposed to play, or whatever.

    in my ex's case he did the testing of the waters and then kissed me. from the outside it was sorta funny how the kiss was seemingly spontaneous and "aggressive" but not exactly unexpected.
    OK, @ashlesha, thanks for the reference.

    I still think this is constructive, because it is a good description where I can find no other good descriptions. For example, when the ESI-Se Artist last visited me this summer, she brushed up against my arm and I caught her smiling, as if she liked touching, but then she ran away.

    Maybe next time she'll be more explicit.

  22. #102
    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    14,864
    Mentioned
    825 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    *EDIT*
    Lol at the "pestering" comment. The magnificent EJ Arendee said that in order to seduce an ESI,
    "Hit on them once or twice, until they know that you exist, then ignore them. Never look at them again. They no longer exist. They'll do the rest of the work."
    Not an arendee fan (magnificent lol), but that's the best possible advice, I think. 1. Being appealing to start with, 2. Giving notice of possibility, 3. Rousing the,uh, aggressor instinct. Nice.

  23. #103
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    220
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I tease them for a while and ask them out if they respond well and don’t treat other guys the same way. If I sense even the slightest hint of disinterest in their tone or body language I’ll cut the conversation short and give up for good. Anything more than that is sexual harassment. I asked a classmate for her name once and just noped the fuck out of there because of her tone
    Last edited by Averroes; 01-08-2020 at 06:40 PM.

  24. #104
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,281
    Mentioned
    950 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I tease them for a while and ask them out if they respond well and don’t treat other guys the same way. If I sense even the slightest hint of disinterest in their tone or body language I’ll cut the conversation short and give up for good. Anything more than that is sexual harassment. I asked a classmate for her name once and just noped the fuck out of there because of her tone
    This is an intuitive and/or a common sense approach.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  25. #105
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTp 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    3,575
    Mentioned
    220 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    This is an intuitive and/or a common sense approach.
    if u nope out out after one hint of disinterest as an aggressor good luck getting with a victim

  26. #106
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,281
    Mentioned
    950 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    if u nope out out after one hint of disinterest as an aggressor good luck getting with a victim
    I didn't comment on that part.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  27. #107
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTp 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    3,575
    Mentioned
    220 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I didn't comment on that part.
    Well u said that was common sense and intuitive, but irl doesnt seem so.

  28. #108
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    220
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    if u nope out out after one hint of disinterest as an aggressor good luck getting with a victim
    I don’t believe in women “playing hard to get”, unless you’re referring to obvious banter.
    Last edited by Averroes; 01-09-2020 at 03:13 AM.

  29. #109
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTp 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    3,575
    Mentioned
    220 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I don’t believe in women “playing hard to get”, unless you’re talking about edgy banter or something. A girl that likes you generally won’t treat you like an eyesore or a blight on their day
    Well then u shud meet victims xd

  30. #110
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,281
    Mentioned
    950 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Well u said that was common sense and intuitive, but irl doesnt seem so.
    I am not an aggressor so don't know. I don't even know what the person self types that I responded to. I tend to wait for someone to approach me first then I will know what to do if there is chemistry. I think it is harder for people who aren't naturally inclined to make the first move. I think for them it is best to use intuition or common sense when they are interested in someone. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Some people do like a lot of attention but have no interest in going out with any of them. It is more of a narcissistic fix.

    When a woman wants a man they tend to give signals. Same when they don't want them. I think that his post was fine. Many times it leads to harassment when a guy can't figure out the signals with common sense or intuition. My mom is LSI, she jumped up on a barstool, crossed her legs and told my ILI stepdad to buy her a drink, even though her friends said she would have no chance with him because they considered him a higher class than her. They were together after that until he died. She didn't even have to knock him over the head and drag him out of the place.

    Most people won't harass someone, they don't know, who shows absolutely no interest in them at all after after some initial pursuing, probably due to common sense or intuition. I have been stalked in an aggressive way by people who were not even socionics aggressors. It is annoying when you have no interest in them and/or have told them no several times.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  31. #111
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am not an aggressor so don't know. I don't even know what the person self types that I responded to. I tend to wait for someone to approach me first then I will know what to do if there is chemistry. I think it is harder for people who aren't naturally inclined to make the first move. I think for them it is best to use intuition or common sense when they are interested in someone. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Some people do like a lot of attention but have no interest in going out with any of them. It is more of a narcissistic fix.

    When a woman wants a man they tend to give signals. Same when they don't want them. I think that his post was fine. Many times it leads to harassment when a guy can't figure out the signals with common sense or intuition. My mom is LSI, she jumped up on a barstool, crossed her legs and told my ILI stepdad to buy her a drink, even though her friends said she would have no chance with him because they considered him a higher class than her. They were together after that until he died. She didn't even have to knock him over the head and drag him out of the place.

    Most people won't harass someone, they don't know, who shows absolutely no interest in them at all after after some initial pursuing, probably due to common sense or intuition. I have been stalked in an aggressive way by people who were not even socionics aggressors. It is annoying when you have no interest in them and/or have told them no several times.
    @Aylen, it is nice to hear that your LSI mother and ILI stepfather lasted so long. I have a neighbor who is a divorced male ILI, and he found a female LSI on a dating site. They've been together for a couple of years. I asked him why he chose her, and he said it was because she had money, but I suspect they have stayed together because she's an Aggressor and he's a Victim. Whenever she leaves his house after a weekend visit, he looks like a wrung-out dishrag.

  32. #112
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,281
    Mentioned
    950 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Aylen, it is nice to hear that your LSI mother and ILI stepfather lasted so long. I have a neighbor who is a divorced male ILI, and he found a female LSI on a dating site. They've been together for a couple of years. I asked him why he chose her, and he said it was because she had money, but I suspect they have stayed together because she's an Aggressor and he's a Victim. Whenever she leaves his house after a weekend visit, he looks like a wrung-out dishrag.
    At first I was going to say the money thing was kind of fucked up but women do the same thing. Maybe there is love in there somewhere too. I have never been able to be with someone just for money.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  33. #113
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    6,816
    Mentioned
    792 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    At first I was going to say the money thing was kind of fucked up but women do the same thing. Maybe there is love in there somewhere too. I have never been able to be with someone just for money.
    @Aylen, in describing him, I can pick and choose which parts to relate. There might be love in there somewhere, IDK. He's a pretty cold guy, in my estimation, and I have a lot of ILI friends, all of whom I like better.

    He started off on the wrong foot with me when he and I first met. I asked him how he could afford the house he was in on a professor's salary, and he said it wouldn't have been possible if he hadn't avoided giving his ex-wife any money at all from his divorce. He's English and I don't know how he managed that, but I stopped caring about him after he said that. He's an Economics professor, if that matters.

  34. #114
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTp 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    3,575
    Mentioned
    220 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am not an aggressor so don't know. I don't even know what the person self types that I responded to. I tend to wait for someone to approach me first then I will know what to do if there is chemistry. I think it is harder for people who aren't naturally inclined to make the first move. I think for them it is best to use intuition or common sense when they are interested in someone. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Some people do like a lot of attention but have no interest in going out with any of them. It is more of a narcissistic fix.

    When a woman wants a man they tend to give signals. Same when they don't want them. I think that his post was fine. Many times it leads to harassment when a guy can't figure out the signals with common sense or intuition. My mom is LSI, she jumped up on a barstool, crossed her legs and told my ILI stepdad to buy her a drink, even though her friends said she would have no chance with him because they considered him a higher class than her. They were together after that until he died. She didn't even have to knock him over the head and drag him out of the place.

    Most people won't harass someone, they don't know, who shows absolutely no interest in them at all after after some initial pursuing, probably due to common sense or intuition. I have been stalked in an aggressive way by people who were not even socionics aggressors. It is annoying when you have no interest in them and/or have told them no several times.
    Well it seems pretty obvious that he was replying to OP, implying that hes speaking for introverted aggressors. And ye i agree with ur post, but playing hard to get definitely is a thing, especially with se Ni types

  35. #115

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    644
    Mentioned
    34 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    They stare at you, even if you catch them looking, they still stare.

  36. #116
    stare into me flames's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    As seen on T.V.
    TIM
    E I E I OOOOO Sx/So
    Posts
    2,112
    Mentioned
    268 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am not an aggressor so don't know. I don't even know what the person self types that I responded to. I tend to wait for someone to approach me first then I will know what to do if there is chemistry. I think it is harder for people who aren't naturally inclined to make the first move. I think for them it is best to use intuition or common sense when they are interested in someone. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Some people do like a lot of attention but have no interest in going out with any of them. It is more of a narcissistic fix.

    When a woman wants a man they tend to give signals. Same when they don't want them. I think that his post was fine. Many times it leads to harassment when a guy can't figure out the signals with common sense or intuition. My mom is LSI, she jumped up on a barstool, crossed her legs and told my ILI stepdad to buy her a drink, even though her friends said she would have no chance with him because they considered him a higher class than her. They were together after that until he died. She didn't even have to knock him over the head and drag him out of the place.

    Most people won't harass someone, they don't know, who shows absolutely no interest in them at all after after some initial pursuing, probably due to common sense or intuition. I have been stalked in an aggressive way by people who were not even socionics aggressors. It is annoying when you have no interest in them and/or have told them no several times.
    I always thought of approaching others as a learned skill but that is likely the frightened and fragile victim inside me speaking, because many people have made the initiation since grade school. I think for Ni creatives especially we feel this pressure from society (Fe/Te external awareness) to be an “aggressor” and it’s as if we can come close at times, but ultimately we slip up because it’s not our thing. For example, just tonight I went on a date and rather than making a move, I bluntly asked “Can we kiss??” instead. Luckily for me they were making all the first moves in the first place which is what triggered me to ask that because even that is bold in my eyes. I need to gauge how they are acting with me before I can have any confidence to do simple romantic gestures... Starting a conversation is the most I can do. I seem confident when really my anxiety is bubbling over. And here is where the introvert aggressors come into play - they may seem shy at first but they are confident and their actions speak louder than their words and I am always tuned into how people are acting rather than what is coming out of their mouth first. Creative Se is quite strategic and even more so than Se base in my opinion, as they use the function creatively; so they tend do a lot of more action than speaking.
    Last edited by flames; 01-09-2020 at 12:17 PM.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

  37. #117
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    220
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I’m pretty comfortable physically escalating once attraction’s been established, but I’m very hesitant to approach or ask girls out because I’m aware that I appeal to 1% of the female population, tops. I’m not interested in being the gay best friend or going around telling predictable corny jokes for scraps of attention like most dudes
    Last edited by Averroes; 01-09-2020 at 03:30 PM.

  38. #118
    qaz00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    TIM
    SLI-Te
    Posts
    57
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    For example, just tonight I went on a date and rather than making a move, I bluntly asked “Can we kiss??” instead.
    Not a bad thing actually but I'm surprised you said it, I'd expect more confidence and subtlety from Fe lead. From my weak ethics/intuition perspective, such question can be used when there's too much uncertainty in which direction the relationship develops, like a cheat when you're bad at reading hints and you don't know what the other person expects from you.

  39. #119

    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    TIM
    SLE-N 6w7 sx/sp
    Posts
    178
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I’m pretty comfortable physically escalating once attraction’s been established, but I’m very hesitant to approach or ask girls out because I’m aware that I appeal to 1% of the female population, tops. I’m not interested in being the gay best friend or going around telling predictable corny jokes for scraps of attention like most dudes
    then give them a reason to find you attractive.

    acting like you're above it all is gonna make you even less appealing

  40. #120

    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    TIM
    LIE
    Posts
    113
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I had brief interaction with an Se-Creative Creative DCNH, the last months.
    She basically listened to me doing Te-Ni stuff about gender roles and being angry at an IEE in a Ted Talks video who tried to pit men and women against each-other to gain cheap labor for the labor market while suggesting stuff that makes women (and men) unhappy in the long run.
    Afterwards, i did not really notice her because i was courting a terrible normalizing ESI So/Sp, she went out of her way to greet me in front of a our courses for about 4 times on different days, before the fourth time she turned around in our course and looked at me while searching in her backpack, i showed her non-verbally that i found her attractive and she seemed to appreciate that, i responded to her in a kind and affectionate tone because i really liked her friendliness.
    The next week we saw each-other she was alone in the room where our next lecture started and from having usual small-talk she immediately (and very smoothly) proceeded to sit next to me and talking about exams, unfortunately we got interrupted by an ILI/SLI friend.
    I guess it was planned and orchestrated by her and i told her that if she had any questions about the exams she can feel free to ask me, she answered that i can do the same.
    It runs really really smooth and she did not really seem aggressive but she was relentless in her pursuit so far.
    Our short interaction lets me hope for duality, she was very kind to me all the time, something i needed badly after being treated dismissively by the game playing ESI-N.
    She really seems to have liked my concept about gender equality and did treat me democratically as an equal the whole time.
    The SLI/ILI that also tried to block our interaction in a subtle way told me that she was bad news and did postpone a lot of her exams so far but i don't think she is bad news. I think the Te creative was just jealous because i saw cues of her being attracted to me before.

    I will hit her up next week and ask her if she wants to study together or some other lame excuse to meet her, maybe i will just skip the bullshit and let her know that i think that she is a friendly person and that i want to get to know her better. She also did not like my (mildly) sexually connotated joke (which really fit into the situation she created) which lets me hope further for her being an ESI;
    Since she is creative she does not have the usual coldness and unapproachability, i still think she could be one because LSIs would probably have reacted different to this kind of humor and she appreciated my Te in the discussion before, also she seems clearly democratic.
    I'm looking forward to it and the whole interaction with her went very smooth, natural and comfortable.

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •