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Thread: Attraction to types from opposite quadra instead of dual?

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    Default Attraction to types from opposite quadra instead of dual?

    Hi

    I'm new here, but I've been reading about socionics for a while, and MBTI before that, and I wanted to ask a question.

    I am troubled by the fact that I keep being attracted to the beta quadra despite having very little in common with their way of thinking and being. I've had multiple crushes during my teenage years on IEIs, actually I've had crushes almost exclusively on IEIs, (I've sort-of promoted them to demigods in my mind, way before I know it was even a personality type... just boys with the combination of understated gentlemen-ness and incredible insight, and a certain elusiveness) who are my quasi-identical, my ex was one and it was a trainwreck that somehow left me a lot more wrecked then him (in retrospect I think we followed the clasic victim-infantile line of him feeling sorry for himself and me wondering what's wrong with me that I can't make him happier and more pleased with me). Then I had another crush on another IEI which took me another two years or so to get over, and now I've finally had to admit to myself that I am in love and in a sort of platonic-ish but romantically and emotionally charged relationship with my SLE (my conflictor!) friend.

    Has anyone else experinced something like this? What could be the cause of this?

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    EII don't get in relationships with IEI. EII are far more likely to go for Beta ST. For natural reasons; Beta ST men to NF women; strong body, will vrs weak body, lack of will.
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    You seem attracted to betas in general, which is a good reason to think you're beta yourself. I'm sure of being Delta and I can't stand them for long (although I admire them somewhat for a number of reasons). I think you're confusing MBTI INFJ (which is likely to be IEI in Socionics) with Socionics EII (which is usually INFP in MBTI).

    There is a world of difference between an EII and an IEI.
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    It happens. I know an ILE who is almost always instantly attracted to IEEs. Basically, you can't take this theory as the end-all-be-all.

    You can be attracted to and in a good relationship with someone in he opposite quadra. And it could work. The theory presents generalizations that might be true in the general scheme of things overall, but that's it. It's not like everyone always ends up with a dual or that if they do, it's a sure-fire happily ever after. It's people who say "I'm not dating this person; they aren't my dual." or convinces themselves "This person isn't my dual; we aren't going to work out in the long term." or "I can't be friends with this person; they're not in my quadra" that are shooting themselves in the foot. I've had friends and dated people from all quadras. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It's part of being human.

    Just because they're not a dual doesn't mean that the relationship won't work, even in the socionics theory. In theory, it means you'll have to work harder and that having a dual makes things easier. If you have someone nice that you have something in common with who is a beta and a dual who you have nothing in common with and opposite dreams and ideas for what you want out of the world, protip: don't go for the dual.

    tl;dr- Don't take socionics as gospel. Especially when it comes to duals and who you date/hang around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    It happens. I know an ILE who is almost always instantly attracted to IEEs. Basically, you can't take this theory as the end-all-be-all.

    You can be attracted to and in a good relationship with someone in he opposite quadra. And it could work. The theory presents generalizations that might be true in the general scheme of things overall, but that's it. It's not like everyone always ends up with a dual or that if they do, it's a sure-fire happily ever after. It's people who say "I'm not dating this person; they aren't my dual." or convinces themselves "This person isn't my dual; we aren't going to work out in the long term." or "I can't be friends with this person; they're not in my quadra" that are shooting themselves in the foot. I've had friends and dated people from all quadras. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It's part of being human.

    Just because they're not a dual doesn't mean that the relationship won't work, even in the socionics theory. In theory, it means you'll have to work harder and that having a dual makes things easier. If you have someone nice that you have something in common with who is a beta and a dual who you have nothing in common with and opposite dreams and ideas for what you want out of the world, protip: don't go for the dual.

    tl;dr- Don't take socionics as gospel. Especially when it comes to duals and who you date/hang around.
    I've seen so many horrible insanely bad relationships in my life I would say don't go for either.

    You should note that she's already been in a trainwreck relationship with one. Friends is one thing, but over time, information compatibility is not merely a generalization but a low level and largely uncontrolled process which produces conflict and compatibility. Conflict quadra relationships at a close psychological distance only get harder with time and eventual contempt.

    It's no suprise that conflict quadra relationships in the studies conducted by socionists have found only 4% of relationships are conflict quadra while ~80% involve only 6 relationship styles:

    Dual, Activity, Benefactor, Identity, Mirror and Supervisor

    Yes people have relationships with conflictors and conflict quadra but it's almost foolhardy to recommend.

    However, socionics has one major problem and that is the problem of typing. There is the possibility that someone you are attracted to might be in the same/opposing or adjacent quadra and that level of uncertainty means that individuals should try people out to see what will happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny View Post
    Hi

    I'm new here, but I've been reading about socionics for a while, and MBTI before that, and I wanted to ask a question.

    I am troubled by the fact that I keep being attracted to the beta quadra despite having very little in common with their way of thinking and being. I've had multiple crushes during my teenage years on IEIs, actually I've had crushes almost exclusively on IEIs, (I've sort-of promoted them to demigods in my mind, way before I know it was even a personality type... just boys with the combination of understated gentlemen-ness and incredible insight, and a certain elusiveness) who are my quasi-identical, my ex was one and it was a trainwreck that somehow left me a lot more wrecked then him (in retrospect I think we followed the clasic victim-infantile line of him feeling sorry for himself and me wondering what's wrong with me that I can't make him happier and more pleased with me). Then I had another crush on another IEI which took me another two years or so to get over, and now I've finally had to admit to myself that I am in love and in a sort of platonic-ish but romantically and emotionally charged relationship with my SLE (my conflictor!) friend.

    Has anyone else experinced something like this? What could be the cause of this?
    It's not uncommon to be attracted to your opposite quadra, due to the commonalities of clubs(ST, NF, NT, SF) co-mingling as well as the shared aristocracy/democracy dynamic which drives grouping and socialization styles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    It's not uncommon to be attracted to your opposite quadra, due to the commonalities of clubs(ST, NF, NT, SF) co-mingling as well as the shared aristocracy/democracy dynamic which drives grouping and socialization styles.


    We must retype ever relationship past, present or future 'dual'.

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    I'm 100% with hkkmr, that you can get along with anyone is self-improvement bullshit. It assumes that we're in full control about what we are and how we think and that's plain not true.

    I'd say that, according to my observations, the most common stable, healthy, relationships are between duals and activity. Mirror and semiduals are very common and typically functional but they requiere more energy.
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    I don't think you're innately attracted to a certain quadra or type, rather you're attracted to certain personalities. So the fact that maybe they're all IEI if you typed them correctly is a coincidence. The fact you're still into MBTI may signify you don't know what you're talking about, but welcome.

    Subconsciously there is light and familiar attraction to people of your quadra, ie. the way they look and hold themselves. This usually has to do with your identity, looking yourself in the mirror, and nothing to do with who you end up being attracted to.
    Last edited by 717495; 12-18-2012 at 05:07 PM.

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    socionics relationships haven't exactly been predictive in my case either. i tend to be attracted towards my superego and conflictor types most often, followed by (maybe) activity. i haven't, save for one instance, been intensely attracted to a dual in a sexual/emotional sense. so, there. i self-type EII fwiw.

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    It doesn't have anything to do with self-improvement, I don't know what kind of idiot would want to "improve" themselves by staying in something that some theory brands as crap relationship in the first place even after it failed miserably in real life.

    And one, actually, can get a long with people, question is for how long?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny View Post
    Hi

    (I've sort-of promoted them to demigods in my mind, way before I know it was even a personality type... just boys with the combination of understated gentlemen-ness and incredible insight, and a certain elusiveness)

    Has anyone else experinced something like this? What could be the cause of this?
    There are different ways you can be attracted to someone. Socioincs talks about some kind of natural compatibility of the mind. I think many people find IEI interesting. They are "deep and romantic", but that doesn't mean that there is compatibility. I have had crushes on IEIs, but it's business and the interaction gets quickly akward. One the other hand I have often found my dual not interesting at all, just pretty normal and neutral. Until I actually started dating one and noticed the chemistry and that attraction that seems to come from nowhere. I think it takes some time to get used to what socionics talks about in terms of compatibility and attraction. It's very natural, almost too natural. And it's relational, it has little to do with the objective sexyness of the person.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    I'm 100% with hkkmr, that you can get along with anyone is self-improvement bullshit. It assumes that we're in full control about what we are and how we think and that's plain not true.
    I wasn't saying you can get alone with anyone, but that you can get along with any type, and considering the amount of variation people express within a type, to say otherwise just makes you a bonehead with a dogma.

    (haha get it, guys? like a dog with a bone?)

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    I wasn't saying you can get alone with anyone, but that you can get along with any type, and considering the amount of variation people express within a type, to say otherwise just makes you a bonehead with a dogma.

    (haha get it, guys? like a dog with a bone?)
    There are always outliers. But I don't think given her past experiences, it's not exactly likely. I mean you can win the lottery too. The number of people individuals can get along with regardless of their social skills/type is low. This is regardless of type and any common characteristics.

    Dual relationships can break up but they can also get back together after a break up.

    Love and emotions are not exactly predictable and many relationships begin spontaneously out of mutual attraction and love, people also buy lottery tickets because they think they can win. Just because things like this happens, doesn't mean what we do and feel is in our best interests.

    She's experienced quasi love before and I believe conflictor love will be far more difficult and explosive and probably going to cause her some heartbreak.

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    I know of a very-likely-EII who was with a quite-possibly-IEI. Of course it didn't work. This was after he left me. Why would someone who had experienced dualism pair with their quasi? Why would someone who can't work out relationships with quasis want to keep trying?

    I would guess that, assuming you've typed all involved correctly, you're just spending too much time around betas, and when you subconsciously want a crush, they're all that's around (I suspect that's why I was attached to an ILI). Go meet some Deltas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I've seen so many horrible insanely bad relationships in my life I would say don't go for either.
    Same here.

    Actually I've viewed a conflict marriage up close once (ESI and ILE) and it wasn't pretty to watch at all. It was an insanely uncomfortable experience being just in the car with this couple as they were driving me somewhere. Basically there would be all this negative tension, each time one said something using their base function the other would feel threatened and angry and respond in a really weird way, there would be a long charged silence, and then they'd suddenly and inorganically grab each other and try to very awkwardly caress. But I think it maybe takes years for it to get *that* bad... (?)

    If you want a short-term negative whirlwind experience--hey, why not?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    Same here.

    Actually I've viewed a conflict marriage up close once (ESI and ILE) and it wasn't pretty to watch at all. It was an insanely uncomfortable experience being just in the car with this couple as they were driving me somewhere. Basically there would be all this negative tension, each time one said something using their base function the other would feel threatened and angry and respond in a really weird way, there would be a long charged silence, and then they'd suddenly and inorganically grab each other and try to very awkwardly caress. But I think it maybe takes years for it to get *that* bad... (?)

    If you want a short-term negative whirlwind experience--hey, why not?
    Yea, I've seen spouses who literally hated each other but stuck together for years and years for whatever insane reason, the mental damage these individuals exhibited in basic interaction with others was affected as well, it is totally excruciating to watch these individuals interact with others as well because they're just so damaged and confused about how to be themselves through years of solitary(in a way) confinement with a nightmare.

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    Pretty simple, go for you duals and not conflictors.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    I wasn't saying you can get alone with anyone, but that you can get along with any type, and considering the amount of variation people express within a type, to say otherwise just makes you a bonehead with a dogma.

    (haha get it, guys? like a dog with a bone?)
    I agree. I am like that, I get along with any type. You can get along with any type if they have the right personality (non-socionics). Some people express type-behaviour more strongly than others, others have low energy and don't show so much of their ego. Some people are also adaptive, and can adjust to the other person, but that should of course not be confused with compatibility. Being adaptive means often to hide what you'd really like for the sake of peace, or being diplomatic etc. However, in the long run people want to somehow express who they really are, so just getting along with someone can be very unfulfilling.

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    Yeah, it's actually weird to me because all my life I've felt that most relationships do not make that much sense..?? Is this just me, or do other people notice this too?

    Are there people whose friends are largely in good relationships, rather than bad ones?
    Last edited by lemontrees; 12-18-2012 at 09:41 PM. Reason: meh. too many unnecessary anecdotes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    Yeah, it's actually weird to me because all my life I've felt that most relationships do not make that much sense..?? Is this just me, or do other people notice this too?

    Are there people whose friends are largely in good relationships, rather than bad ones?
    My ESE friend is generally in good relationships, but he's not monogamous either. I don't really see it as good for the girls tho, as they are generally left in the dust and they require more then what is going to be provided. But they are not acrimonious relationships either. I think the lack of psychological closeness make the relationships easier to deal with, but without any real intimacy. He names the out of town girls by the city they are from.

    My SLE and IEI friends just had a baby and that's a good relationship, they aren't married but it's a loving relationship and they get each other. There will probably be some infidelity on both side eventually but I doubt they will break up. They are of course not always around anymore due to the duties.

    I know a IEE and a SLI that are married and have a great relationship, they also just had a baby. They're pretty much devoted to each other.

    I know another IEE and SLI that got married, the SLI can probably cheat if he gets too drunk and frisky but they're pretty much devoted to each other.

    I know a ESE and a LII who are in a great relationship, the ESE has cheated before but I don't think the LII would break the relationship for that. They're pretty devoted to each other. Not sure if they will have a baby or not but they're both super busy individuals.

    I know a SEE and a ILI who are in a open relationship, they both wants to fuck everything in sight, but they have been together for almost forever.

    I know a SEE that is engage to maybe a LSI(maybe ILI, I don't think he is) and she's having nervous breakdown at the moment.

    This SLE girl I know just got into this relationship with this guy, not sure what type, maybe Beta NF. He's kinda of fucked everything on two legs here...so it might just be a stopover. They were however good friends before engaging in this current relationship and I think they both got tired of all the running around and finally got together.

    As you can see there are a lot of duality relationships in my immediate vicinity, same quadra relationships in my vicinity. Generally I find that non-optimal relationships end quickly and half of that partnership disappears, thus the only relationships I can comment on are duality/activity ones. ^_~

    You are about 10 years younger then me and in the mid 20's most people are kinda of lost about relationships. Don't worry it will pass, unless you're me. ^_^

    From what I can tell people who are young and finding their first love in high school/college can often find a compatible type while the chances narrow after that period due to adjusting to work/etc. But once that is handled they can find someone who is more compatible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    There are always outliers. But I don't think given her past experiences, it's not exactly likely. I mean you can win the lottery too. The number of people individuals can get along with regardless of their social skills/type is low. This is regardless of type and any common characteristics.

    Dual relationships can break up but they can also get back together after a break up.

    Love and emotions are not exactly predictable and many relationships begin spontaneously out of mutual attraction and love, people also buy lottery tickets because they think they can win. Just because things like this happens, doesn't mean what we do and feel is in our best interests.

    She's experienced quasi love before and I believe conflictor love will be far more difficult and explosive and probably going to cause her some heartbreak.
    That's...pretty much not what I was saying at all. And I was speaking in general, so OPs current problems are only slightly relevant.


    If you met 25 ESIs, you cannot say you wouldn't get along with any of them (and certainly couldn't say that you have as much chance as winning the lottery) regardless of your social skills or lack-there-of unless aforementioned social skills included absolutely refusing to talk to them or having anything to do with them on the basis of their type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    That's...pretty much not what I was saying at all. And I was speaking in general, so OPs current problems are only slightly relevant.

    If you met 25 ESIs, you cannot say you wouldn't get along with any of them (and certainly couldn't say that you have as much chance as winning the lottery) regardless of your social skills or lack-there-of unless aforementioned social skills included absolutely refusing to talk to them or having anything to do with them on the basis of their type.
    Learning how to deal with your conflicting quadra is fairly important in life as there is often a co-mingling of interests and such however, I think if you met 25 ESI, the changes of you marrying one is very very low and extremely inadvisable. These two individuals in question are already friends and what is being discussed is not a friendship/getting along thing but the pursuit of a romantic relationship.

    Conflicting quadra relationships are probably less then 10% of all marriages, a large number of those likely to be miserable. I believe Aushra did some work on family planning, and thru that interest she observed good and bad family dynamics.

    I think everyone has been talking about romantic relationships at this point, and getting along within that context, so let's stay there. The only major issue with whether to pursue any relationship is mistyping. I always follow my heart irregardless of type and many people do so without being rational about it. So if Ginny is this sort of person, then she should go for it.

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    It's not unusual. I've seen the same thing first hand, regarding a delta attracted to beta, and other quadras attracted to their opposing quadra.
    It's possible.

    A lot depends on your upbringing - family relations. If there is a strong dominant beta influence in your family or important relationships growing up, its entirely natural to be attracted to that which you are familiar with.

    One of the only ways you might 'know', if you can't deduce your own authentic self and functional alignment of elements, is to actually try to have nurturing relationships with other quadras. Sometimes people will be drawn to an apparent quality or strength they aren't good at or find appealing, regardless of the quadra - and can form entire social dynamics around that preference. This generally tends to various forms of self repression and 'awkwardness'... but, it's possible.


    In general, who you've been attracted to in the past isn't necessarily related to socionics. Sometimes there are just hot, interesting, or proximity-appealing people who are your conflictor or in another quadra - that's how the best friend I made in one of my courses was, in fact, my conflictor.


    Socionics addresses more instinctual, less obvious (sometimes) types of attraction or 'sense of closeness / shared psychological feelings of comfort', rather than, necessarily, raw attraction. However, it is more likely that things become clear over time, whatever the case. The more positive relationships you have with a variety of people, socionics types, and so on, the more you realize what socionics addresses, and what it doesn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny View Post
    Hi

    I'm new here, but I've been reading about socionics for a while, and MBTI before that, and I wanted to ask a question.

    I am troubled by the fact that I keep being attracted to the beta quadra despite having very little in common with their way of thinking and being. I've had multiple crushes during my teenage years on IEIs, actually I've had crushes almost exclusively on IEIs, (I've sort-of promoted them to demigods in my mind, way before I know it was even a personality type... just boys with the combination of understated gentlemen-ness and incredible insight, and a certain elusiveness) who are my quasi-identical, my ex was one and it was a trainwreck that somehow left me a lot more wrecked then him (in retrospect I think we followed the clasic victim-infantile line of him feeling sorry for himself and me wondering what's wrong with me that I can't make him happier and more pleased with me). Then I had another crush on another IEI which took me another two years or so to get over, and now I've finally had to admit to myself that I am in love and in a sort of platonic-ish but romantically and emotionally charged relationship with my SLE (my conflictor!) friend.

    Has anyone else experinced something like this? What could be the cause of this?

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    Isn't every girl between 15 and 20 attracted to IEI males (the mysterious guitar playing emo push and pull poets)?

    I know I was and all attempts at relationships failed miserably. I wouldn't miss them for the world though.
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    I am still figuring out my type, but am fairly sure I am some sort of Beta NF so I will tell you my experience with EIIs.

    I feel a real draw to the 3 EIIs that I have typed - I connect with them well and I like their humor, integrity, and they all have a very nurturing quality that I appreciate. We have really interesting conversations. They are very helpful and soothing people if you take a problem to them. I always get along well with them on a casual level, but when I have to plan and work on projects with them we are very out of sync somehow. Here are some examples:

    My Ni seems to annoy them, there can be a resentment that I am pouring cold water on their plans. I also get the feeling that my Fe is not greatly appreciated - like they want me to be less passionate, if I am voicing a strong opinion about something. Which is not a great feeling to have after a few years, if you feel this silent criticism for the way you express your opinions. They are very deliberate in Si matters, and that gets on my nerves after a while. I want them to hurry up, stop talking (or pondering) and just act. And at times I don't understand why this or that Si project is so important to them and why they want to spend so much time on it. Prodding to hurry up, however gentle,is greatly resented. They can be very giving in an almost sacrificial way with Si related things, but because Si is not a huge deal to me, I force a show of appreciation with them on a pretty regular basis. I don't mind that much, but some people might not like doing that over time.

    And that is the issue - things get old after a long time. Some aspects of communication can be relearned and permanantly corrected without much problem, so that you don't continually annoy your partner. (Like learning not to say No automatically.) But the way an EII reacts to the Fe expressions of an IEI is just something that is felt inside, you can't retrain your natural feeling. If you are wired to be annoyed by something that your partner does naturally and frequently as a major part of who they are that is kind of sad. Even though I now understand the reason for the unfortunate direction my conversation with an EII is taking (because of socionics,) it is hard to figure out how to make corrections mid-conversation.

    Also, on a practical level, I need a partner who can act and get things done. So do many EIIs. As a team, we can't help each other to be efficient. Unfinished projects pile up and we can't figure out how to dig our way out. With one EII, I have to scheme to get to certain projects before he does, so I can rapidly deal with things that he wastes huge amounts of time on. This leaves him free to work on the important things that I can't do. But he gets mad when I do those other projects (usually Si-related) because I think he wants to be in control of them. If I try to work up a division of labor, he insists that he can do way more than he actually can, lays claim to too many projects, and then gets mad if he can't get to them and I have to do them. So I sneakily do things that I think he won't notice. This gets old.

    One final observation, deltas in general make me feel slightly inferior, like I don't measure up to their maturity and their high standards of ethics. They are all super nice and friendly, this is just something I feel about myself when I am with them.

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    You are like a delta-beta type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratremix View Post
    You are like a delta-beta type.
    Yes, I think I am some sadly mutated type. Is there a quadra for those? And this is probably an appropriate time to confess that I feel slightly alarmed by some Betas, making me question if Beta NF is actually correct. Like look at Fireyed's avatar. I'm sceered of it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratremix View Post
    You are like a delta-beta type.
    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Yes, I think I am some sadly mutated type.
    Isn't that called schizophrenia?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Isn't that called schizophrenia?
    Eureka!

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    irregardless.
    ILE; INTP
    5w6 so; rcUe|I|;

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phthalate View Post
    Lrn2!boutgramma

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Yes, I think I am some sadly mutated type. Is there a quadra for those? And this is probably an appropriate time to confess that I feel slightly alarmed by some Betas, making me question if Beta NF is actually correct. Like look at Fireyed's avatar. I'm sceered of it.
    16 types aren't enough to describe people, so having multiple types is reasonable.

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    I'm sadly anti-relationship at the moment.

    I like duals in my life. They're steady and they get me.

    We also get into boring routines tho and get stuck in a lazy rut of just lazing around together doing nothing. it can be relaxing and fun until I get sick of not doing anything.


    and they like to put a negative spin on everything. "like hey i want to try this cool, new restuarant"
    them: "..uh...yeah..maybe but it's so crowded and overrated, and they have the type of people I dislike, and it's loud...
    let's just go to our usual and save time and frustration."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    Isn't every girl between 15 and 20 attracted to IEI males (the mysterious guitar playing emo push and pull poets)?
    Yuck, no
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Guitar playing is a plus though
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post

    We also get into boring routines tho and get stuck in a lazy rut of just lazing around together doing nothing. it can be relaxing and fun until I get sick of not doing anything.
    Are you sure you're talking about extraverts, and duality here? Seems counter intuitive; ENTj, being extraverts are "out the door and go, go, go."

    If you're both lazying around doing nothing, you're probably both either Introverts or it's a relationship of Illusionary.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Guitar playing is a plus though
    Not for me. To me, guitar-playing is as bad as football-playing. No personality. Play the bagpipes or the drums or the harmonica...not the guitar, and especially not the electric guitar. Those will make you look like a jerk.

    LSE
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    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    I make ENTj's lazy.
    Because I'm lazy.

    and we get comfortable just being lazy together.


    @abbie & polikujm... you're statement is RA-tarded. You're a jerk.


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    I've been attracted to SLE so many times, can't keep track and they have been very attracted to me too; just yesterday I was on the train looking really bad because I thought I was sick and I was sneezing ugh anyway and there, a 6 foot 4 SLE is looking down at me (he was German-talking to brother); I didn't even notice him until I had to put my book away and get ready to exit the train but he was looking at me, so intently, so deeply as if he wanted to start a conversation; he smiled at me and I just went...any IEI around LOL

    But yeah, SLE and I have been very attracted to one another and lord if that Fe crazy, fun, wild, out of control didn't come out later on, we would probably make a good pair. I like the serious sentimental, soft, caring, put your head on my shoulder and reminisce connection I have with my dual and wouldn't trade it in FOR anything.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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