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Thread: Attraction to types from opposite quadra instead of dual?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Yes, I think I am some sadly mutated type. Is there a quadra for those? And this is probably an appropriate time to confess that I feel slightly alarmed by some betas, making me question if Beta NF is actually correct. Like look at Fireyed's avatar. I'm sceered of it.
    Do not worry. This feeling is normal, even some betas are alarmed by some betas. jk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    I've been attracted to SLE so many times, can't keep track and they have been very attracted to me too; just yesterday I was on the train looking really bad because I thought I was sick and I was sneezing ugh anyway and there, a 6 foot 4 SLE is looking down at me (he was German-talking to brother); I didn't even notice him until I had to put my book away and get ready to exit the train but he was looking at me, so intently, so deeply as if he wanted to start a conversation; he smiled at me and I just went...any IEI around LOL

    But yeah, SLE and I have been very attracted to one another and lord if that Fe crazy, fun, wild, out of control didn't come out later on, we would probably make a good pair. I like the serious sentimental, soft, caring, put your head on my shoulder and reminisce connection I have with my dual and wouldn't trade it in FOR anything.
    What if these SLE's were actually LSE's and you were cutting yourself short the whole time? Or are you absolutely sure?

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    What if the Moon is blue and we're all going to die if we won't re-paint it green...?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    What if these SLE's were actually LSE's and you were cutting yourself short the whole time? Or are you absolutely sure?
    Absolutely sure

    SLE come off very serious and restrained at first, very classy, their dress is sporty or casual dressy and very impeccable taste. The difference I find between LSE and SLE is that SLE are affectionate, so much more so than an LSE, LSE are reserved in that department; SLE are sensualists, they love to touch, to caress, to feel. They both love food and can run into serious trouble with eating too much of something they like. It's in the department "touchy feely" that I can distinguish the two as well as good VI. Usually, when I see an SLE out and about, they are having fun, joking and laughing, they are not stiff, tense, impatient, can't relax like LSE.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 12-30-2012 at 10:06 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Yeah , i attract to my beneficiary type , he is SEI

    Then , i've attracted to other type beside dual smh

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    I've hooked up with every one of the beta quadra types. Best sex was with the NFs lol. The STs were way too rough. Never got into a relationship with any of them though, because I never had much in common with them. I think one of the EIEs wanted something more after hooking up, but he wasn't very respectful.

    IEIs can seem like nice, polite guys, but for a lot of them it's just a way of getting what they want lol. The one I knew was really reliable for sex but he always gave some reason for why he didn't want a relationship. I think he wound up with some muscle dude eventually lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by saskiaza21 View Post
    Yeah , i attract to my beneficiary type , he is SEI

    Then , i've attracted to other type beside dual smh
    I've met a dual I was attracted to. Happened once. We had incompatible social values. It died pretty quick.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    I've met a dual I was attracted to. Happened once. We had incompatible social values. It died pretty quick.
    I've met a number of Duals in the past five years.

    SW - ESI-Fi e4 - Too young
    AS - ESI-Se e6w7 CP - I think she's hot and generally nearly perfect, but she is not looking for a guy like me.
    BK - ESI-Se e6 - Fantastic woman, but sx-last. Been there, done that with my ex-wife, not doing a repeat.
    MP - ESI-Se e6w7 - Fun to be around, she's avoidant and has zero interest in a relationship.
    BD - ESI-Fi e4 or e9 - great on paper, easy to be around, not interested in a real-life relationship.

    Most of these are fails because the women are not interested in me for various reasons. Or, you could say that I'm not the kind of person they are interested in seeing more of.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-09-2020 at 04:30 PM.

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    So as not to let my previous post derail this thread, I know a number of Alpha women and I'm not romantically attracted to any of them.

    ILE - woman in the bank. Seemed interesting and fun and she thought we had a lot in common, which just goes to show what 30 second dating does.
    SEI - I work with a woman of this type. Fantastic dresser, fantastically helpful, and I personally like her, but not romantically.
    LII - I work with two women of this type. One is typically "you stay on your side of the room, I'll stay on mine" LII, but the other is sx-first and she can be confusing, because she's like, "Hey! Come on!" and laughs, and when you come on, you find she's an Infantile.
    ESE - Owns a furniture store. A bit too much like a man (Exxj) for my taste.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I've met a number of Duals in the past five years.

    SW - ESI-Fi e4 - Too young
    AS - ESI-Se e6w7 CP - I think she's hot and generally nearly perfect, but she is not looking for a guy like me.
    BK - ESI-Se e6 - Fantastic woman, but sx-last. Been there, done that with my ex-wife, not doing a repeat.
    MP - ESI-Se e6w7 - Fun to be around, she's avoidant and has zero interest in a relationship.
    BD - ESI-Fi e4 or e9 - great on paper, easy to be around, not interested in a real-life relationship.

    Most of these are fails because the women are not interested in me for various reasons. Or, you could say that I'm not the kind of person they are interested in seeing more of.
    Maybe I have met more than one, but the one I'm thinking of really stuck out to me, because I felt like he actually had a brain lol, and that's pretty rare. I like people who are interested in learning and mental stuff because it's a personal drive for them, not just because they're taking a class or in school. This guy was a thinker and I could tell that he was. He was also physically attractive, and that combo is what propelled me towards him. But he was converting into a fairly conservative religion, and that was a big problem for me.

    It's possible I've met other LSEs. But they just didn't stick out as much maybe. I tried to hit the first guy up a second time, but he basically reminded me that our differences were too much to be compatible, and I had to agree, even though I didn't really like that lol. It's probably better for me in the end though. It's better to be alone than with someone you don't get along with.

    He did have some "red flags" too but I for some reason identified them consciously and precisely and still didn't care lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Maybe I have met more than one, but the one I'm thinking of really stuck out to me, because I felt like he actually had a brain lol, and that's pretty rare. I like people who are interested in learning and mental stuff because it's a personal drive for them, not just because they're taking a class or in school. This guy was a thinker and I could tell that he was. He was also physically attractive, and that combo is what propelled me towards him. But he was converting into a fairly conservative religion, and that was a big problem for me.

    It's possible I've met other LSEs. But they just didn't stick out as much maybe. I tried to hit the first guy up a second time, but he basically reminded me that our differences were too much to be compatible, and I had to agree, even though I didn't really like that lol. It's probably better for me in the end though. It's better to be alone than with someone you don't get along with.

    He did have some "red flags" too but I for some reason identified them consciously and precisely and still didn't care lol.
    When you like someone enough, you can overlook a lot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ania View Post
    You can be attracted to anyone for various reasons; it doesn’t make you any less of x type.

    i have been attracted to IEIs also. Ironically, never to an EII. I think I need at least some contrast but also something to connect on. On the other hand, enneagram might explain things too, they were both type 9. I have fortunately never been attracted to a Beta STs. Although once in a while I do tend to find my supervisor, SEE, pretty attractive but it wears off - especially now that I know socionics, I know better. Anyways - my crushes have been all over the place, there’s not that much of a pattern to them wrt socionics.
    I've been into an INFP or two myself. Like you said, it's less about the type in many cases.

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    I don’t like the look of Alpha NTs, not even when I “was” SLE. But the Quadra that I hate the most is boring Delta. I still don’t like LSE. They’re gross and uptight and weird. SLI could be ok but boring. My dad is SLI.

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    IR theory is about close personal distance.
    If you do not like higher than average duals (and know several examples of other sex to reduce nontypes factors for concrete people) - then it's not your duals.

    In opposite quadra you may like someone by nontypes reasons. Sexual attraction, for example.
    Also conflictors may look as rather charming people, but on closer personal distance are noticed negative IR effects (as feeling tired in communications, different life values, etc). Probably the reason is that conflictors differ from you the most, so it's most easy to mistake about their personal traits, meanwhile they have strong traits of duals/activators what makes them personally attractive. Superego IR also has the club of your dual/activator, but it has 2 same dichotomies with your (while conflictor has no such) what may allow to notice the alien in them easier.
    I had significant romance feeling to a conflictor, know marriage pair of conflictors and possibly noticed several longtime pairs with conflictor types. You are attracted sexually, they look cute and feelings may develop - so you may try to make a pair. It will not be good friendship from the beginning and doubtful to become later. You may feel psychicly not so good in such relations and significantly you'll not understand why as open querrels are not obligate for that. Due to feelings you may do efforts for relations, - until the passion is high (~3 years or more), when you get duties as children, common household, etc. Bad IR will make problematic to be good close friends, to get the needed support and give additional pressure on the psyche, predispose to higher interest in external positive (incl. cheatings).
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    I dated my conflictor (me LII, her SEE) in my teens and we remain friends to this day. We were together for about a year before I moved out of state. She visited me for a week, against our parent's wishes, but after that she and I encountered many problems. At first I was the aggressor with her. There were no obvious psychological blockages or trouble understanding each other. Average phone conversation was roughly 5-6 hours. We truly believed we were soulmates. Then again, she had several boyfriends at once and was dangerously unpredictable in her later teens. We're friends still, but sometimes when we're talking I can tell there's something percolating. We confused each other for our duals as teens, but there's really no confusing it now.

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    Yes I think my personal ideal is ILE. Best type tbh
    R

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    IDK why I gravitate towards Deltas. I guess it’s that “opposites attract” kinda thing.

    From my experience, I find Deltas to be very chill but generally dispassionate. Betas are passionate (in their own way) and much more stubborn. I am a pretty stubborn, driven, and passionate person, so that makes sense.

    There are qualities that I like in LSIs, but they are not the type that I have had the best ITRs in.
    virgo sun - aquarius rising - scorpio moon

    oh, nihilism...


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    Good points made.

    If you're hooking up with opposite quadra, you probably don't know yourself well or have much compassion for the needs of the other person.

    My SLE ways would trample over an EIIs preferences. I've also seen conflict relationship up close. Adapting to conflict is the absolute dumbest thing ever. Love yourself & avoid that stress.

    Sometimes I wonder whether people understand the concept of "friend". Opposite quadra are f'ing cool but being just friends sounds like a very wise idea

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Yes I think my personal ideal is ILE. Best type tbh
    I usually like and get along with LIIs and have a number of LII friends. I’ve even made a few passes at LII women before I knew Socionics but, fortunately, they knew better than to fall for me.

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    I'm animalistically attracted to athletic appearances. Other things that attract are sharp minds and somewhat aristocratic bearings. Previous to my current dual relationship, I've had long relationships with three ESIs (although one was younger than 25 so I'm uncertain) and one EIE. In between and before, the types were so varied that attraction seems independent of type. The glue that keeps people together has more of a type factor although baggage can easily overshadow its effect. It is why I only used type in my professional career because there, the relationships that I had to deal with were mostly cognitive in nature although some do get personal, and hence, more complex.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    I'm animalistically attracted to athletic appearances.
    looking under the latest posts tab and seeing this added a little sparkle to my morning lol

    the only alpha quadra type i find myself ever interested in is LII, but nothing ever gets off the ground. my boyfriends have been introverts so that's not it. ?? not enough of a snag, or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I usually like and get along with LIIs and have a number of LII friends. I’ve even made a few passes at LII women before I knew Socionics but, fortunately, they knew better than to fall for me.
    Yeah ILEs probably hate me bec of my preference to NiSe and my lack of Fe. I don't know why I don't feel like that when it comes to their Ne (I get annoyed at this but only initially) and Fe.

    TMI Ne-Ti is so lovable I confessed to a really adorable ILE with a girlfriend, I was dumb like that.
    R

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    No. Most LSI make me feel judged from sec one, SLE feels like they are going to bully me & EIE makes me want to breathe into a paper bag(no Si at all). The ones I could date for a short time are IEI but often I sense Te-Ti conflict brewing fast enough to dodge the bullet & even get close to them.
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

    Life is soup. I'm fork


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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I usually like and get along with LIIs and have a number of LII friends. I’ve even made a few passes at LII women before I knew Socionics but, fortunately, they knew better than to fall for me.
    ehehehe
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    From Beta Quadra I most frequently find myself attracted to IEI-Ni men.

    On a different personality forum, I once saw an interpretation by an SLI of how energies based on direction of function attract or repel people to other types - meaning you are likely to feel comfortable in intertypes where functions are oriented in the same direction as yours (for example, me and ESE share +Fi/-Fe), and conversely have a certain attraction to types whose functions are oriented in the opposite direction (for me that starts with -Fi/+Fe). In my own experience, I have found myself consistently attracted to individuals with -Fi/+Fe functions regardless of their location in the person’s functional setup. Thus, I am more likely to find my attention drawn to IEIs and EIEs than I am to SLEs/LSIs in Beta Quadra, even though the latter are stronger in my dual functions.

    That being said, I am much more often attracted to individuals from Alpha and Gamma Quadras than Betas on the whole.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 05-02-2021 at 12:11 AM.

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    SEEs can sometimes be very attractive in an a very physical way. I think dating one would be hard for me, though.

    ILIs are the opposite. They can mentally interest me, but there's just an attitude of passivity about them that makes it hard to imagine doing anything physical with them would be very...satisfying, I guess.

    I don't know many LIEs, but from what I've seen of them, something about their attitude in general, but particularly their attitudes toward sex, puts me off. I'm not sure what it is.

    ESIs I often think are pretty, but in the way a landscape can be pretty or an animal can be nice to look at. I think I would struggle to be sexually attracted to one. I tend to like them and get along well with them, but I think they register as something like a feature of the natural world in my mind.

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    Happens to the best of us.
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    Don't care much about alpha SF, ESE girls can look hot sometime though.
    LIIs are smart but they are too rigid for me in personal relationship.
    ILEs are ok, talking about Ne/Ni stuff with them is fun. they always have some interesting perspective that I normally would never think of...

    I also see LIE and LII get along well when talking about T-N things.

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    I often find SLI men very attractive.

    It's rare that I get along with an IEE.

    Some LSE are sweet but I still try to stay far away from them. Se dem scares me. It's hard for me to understand why they react to things the way that they do. However smth funny is that I have an LSE friend who is my Psyche Yoga dual. Our relationship is weird but I love him.

    I know I had sex with an EII once. It wasn't the best sex but we had fun. His appartment was nice.

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    I've grown up around a lot of Gamma's but, I don't think I could ever get into a serious romantic relationship with one. I like Gamma's one on one and they are wonderful people. Though, I know I will never be able to thrive properly in Gamma spaces, I feel a bit run over. I love how smart Gamma NT's can be with their Ni and it's helpful with strategy and specific situations/information. Gamma SF's can be very sweet and sensitive once you get past the overbearing Se and I find them intelligent as well. I have been attracted initially in the past however, it doesn't last very long and for me I don't think it would work well in a serious relationship.
    Last edited by MissDucki; 05-06-2021 at 12:13 AM.

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    I have a good LIE friend that I have known since elementary school, ILIs and SEEs are not bad either, but i think i never really got along with an ESI

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    Out of the Beta quadra LSIs are probably the only ones I would never want to date. IEIs would be a questionable choice, too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    ESIs I often think are pretty, but in the way a landscape can be pretty or an animal can be nice to look at. I think I would struggle to be sexually attracted to one. I tend to like them and get along well with them, but I think they register as something like a feature of the natural world in my mind.
    i'm surprised by how flattered i am reading this <3

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    i'm surprised by how flattered i am reading this <3

    Really? Lol, I suspected that saying "I think of ESIs more like animals than like humans" would go down a little worse.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Really? Lol, I suspected that saying "I think of ESIs more like animals than like humans" would go down a little worse.

    Flattery will get you anywhere.

    Anyway, don't you mean SEEs?

    I was talking to an LII about his SEE boss, and the LII launched into a tirade about the SEE's talents, motives, personal habits and probable history when I stopped him and said, "You know, you guys are Conflictors and the relationship is symmetric, which means that within the boundaries of information exchange, he feels the same way about you."

    The LII paused, thought, and then laughed. "I don't need this job", he said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuathe View Post
    Out of the Beta quadra LSIs are probably the only ones I would never want to date. IEIs would be a questionable choice, too.

    "Out of the Beta Quadra". Sounds like a great title for a sci-fi horror movie.

    *EDIT*
    Although, really, I think that "Out of the Gamma Quadra" sounds scarier.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Flattery will get you anywhere.

    Anyway, don't you mean SEEs?

    I was talking to an LII about his SEE boss, and the LII launched into a tirade about the SEE's talents, motives, personal habits and probable history when I stopped him and said, "You know, you guys are Conflictors and the relationship is symmetric, which means that within the boundaries of information exchange, he feels the same way about you."

    The LII paused, thought, and then laughed. "I don't need this job", he said.
    SEEs don't ever really bother me. They just are what they are. There are many that are self-absorbed assholes, but they're stupid, and anyone with a modicum of sense can see through them, so they don't get on my nerves -- I just ignore them and move on. There are also many SEEs that I find impressive, but I don't think I tend to have much in common with them in general, so I've never tried to get to know one particularly well. I've noticed they also don't tend to seem particularly interested in me.

    Alpha NTs have the capacity to bother me a lot more. Every time I read something about Boris Johnson, for instance, I feel a sense of anger I really shouldn't -- I don't live in his country, I don't know the guy, no decision he makes ever effects me. But that smug narcissistic ILE self-aggrandizement hits much closer to home than how someone like, say, Donald Trump acts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Yes I think my personal ideal is ILE. Best type tbh
    FINALLY someone acknowledging the superiority of ILE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    FINALLY someone acknowledging the superiority of ILE.
    IEIs like ILEs, too. Until they don't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    IEIs like ILEs, too. Until they don't.
    I mean how hard would it be to keep them around?

    Couldn't I just take random objects and hit them occasionally? Isn't that what victims like?
    Or do I have to do it every time I see them?

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