Taken from the "spiritual instincts" thread on EIDB - this is a different discussion from the one in the op, reposting it here to keep all these notes together.
Manifests in 3 zones, each with their particular distortions (the distortions are when we are not in that instinct, but when we are reacting to our fears around that instinct). When the SP instinct is distorted, it runs between Rigidity and Flaccidity in these three zones:
1) Health and Well being - Health, rest, exercise, hygiene, attending to the needs of the body. Becomes distorted as excessive exercise and dieting, eating disorders, trying too hard to be healthy. Or comfort over development, a kind of numb nesting, eating junk food, not sleeping, poor sleeping habits, addiction to alcohol, ect.
2) Practical know-how - How to attend to practical affairs of living, liking the basics of life, maintenance, repair, adaptability to circumstance, ability to work, to put one's affairs in order, to handle the necessities of our world. Distortion is workaholism or people who can't get to work (don't necessarily mean job), can't take care of themselves.
3) Domesticity - maintaining a home, a foundation, a base or nest from which pursuing one's passions and callings can be supported. Distortion is the Nest/Tomb, never leaving the home, can't get out, hoarding, purging, or excessively rigid about structures and routines - house has to be spotless, must be in bed at certain time, eat certain foods, control of regularity.
Russ talked about trainings running late and all the self-pres start worrying about how long it's going - got to get home, have to eat something, have to go to the bathroom, training will be so early the next morning i'll be so tired. Asks, are you really tired or just responding to fear?
How do I organize my life so as to serve my awakening?
Self-pres is the most powerful and basic force in the universe, it is the sustaining of life. Drive to life. Will to be. It's not just survival, it's also thriving. Sensation, not cognitive.
Body system reading the environment, what is the body telling you? It's not that you obey every call of your body, but that you fully acknowledge it and act from a state of presence about those sensation. Not rejecting the intelligence that comes through self-pres. Conservation and restoration of energy.
Sp is more important doorway for enlightenment because it is about one's existence in the Now.
No identity/compensating state, sitting in the problem.
One-on-One is SP - Domestic, stable, trust, nesting, co-habiting, coming home together, sharing, long and deep, comfort, trust, being here with your partner, creating something together, marriage vows, sustaining something.
SP sex is about touching, body contact, sensations, closeness.
SP is trusting sensation as intelligence. Knowing when to conserve. Awareness of time and space, "the appointed time" - knowing the appropriate place and time (creating a sacred space) when called into action by presence. Everything can be made a sacred space. "We cannot awaken unless we are in god's household".
SP Blindspot - Person feels childish, unable to rest, to land, can't take care of themselves, always needing outside support, procrastinating SP matters.
3 Levels of Development:
- Unconscious - I will survive, even if I must destroy you, even if I must destroy myself. This is survival of the ego at it's purest. "I deserve it".
- Growing - arranging my life so that I begin to feel well and have the capacity to function.
- Illuminated - surrender of oneself, energy and body, to be a vehicle for essence. to make space, all space, for essence.
"Attraction/Repulsion." NOT bonding.
Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:
1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope - Moving towards what draws you energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to [blocked due to guideline #4 violation] and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression, over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything else sidelined. Recklessness.
2) Broadcasting/Charisma - Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"), phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. *this is not being aware of the other, attuned, connected or bonded*. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in, like energetic "pheromones".
3) Immersion/Fusion - completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is what do I fusing with? You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and immersion is sought in.
Russ said about 50% of people who think they're sexual aren't SX in most cases, but are misunderstanding the two instincts, which is often not their fault but the fault of poor information.
Once resources are gathered by SP, they want to be used, activated (SX). Doing something with them is social (SO).
Being turned on, spending energy, driven to spend energy, not a choice. Chemistry and fusion - not intimacy.
-Attracting and being attracted. Also repelling. Time to hunt, mate and go out - aggression and competition - Display - flowers are an example.
-In presence, we're drawn to what makes more life and energy, when we're distorted, we move to what gives the ego more energy.
-To be used up by existence, fused with essence, letting no barriers get in the way. Nothing stops you from union with the beloved.
-Surrender, obliterated by beloved, going all the way.
-In sex, we can't be intact.
SX is the part of us that doesn't tolerate veils and barriers. The transforming, creative force. competition is the engine of evolution. Breaks things up, shakes things up, sexual is a destabilizing force, but also reconstitution.
Sexual is the reconstituting of separate elements coming together in new ways - creativity.
Energy that gets us off our ass, gets us to feel fascinated.
Instinctual wisdom and intelligence - Jess and Russ talked about cultures with arranged marriages, more so and sp than sx, and how that made those cultures more susceptible to being wiped out by plagues. attraction has intelligence.
-intensity - intense about what? intensity needed because intimacy can't be felt.
People high in SX often have erratic lives.
- Social is affection and tenderness. Sexual is an energetic synergy. The sexual is not discriminating, because that implies choice, which is social. the sexual has no choice about what it's attracted to, but the instinct has strong attracts and strong repulsions (i'm not saying sexual is interested in everything, more like the opposite - sexual is attracted to very specific elements, but as far as the WHY or the pursuit of that attraction, there is little to no control. Likewise, the sexual instinct has an incredibly hard time engaging with something it's not attracted to.)
sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar. Sx-last person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have friends". Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my work/this person needs me." Seems disruptive or unruly. SX is done self-consciously.
3 Levels of Development:
- Unconscious - seeking peaks states of energy and intensity to point of self-destruction, or neurotic about where the energy fix is coming from, manipulating, forcing, hung-up on how to squeeze most intensity. obsession with object. addiction to object of attraction.
- Growing - activated energy for creation and fulfillment, energy that undoes the log-jams.
- Illuminated - be on wave of creative life force, energy fully engaged in awakening, sx generated in service of essence, the real juice is awakening. complete transmission. Sacred Prostitute - Jess mentioned Virgina Satir - said she wouldn't work with a client if she couldn't imagine making love to them, otherwise there would not be a complete transmission.
Shows up in 3 Zones:
1) Reading and Adapting - Discerning and reading people's emotions, states, mirroring, how to 'plug in' with people, connecting to where someone is, not what you need from them but where they really are. Learning, adapting new behaviors - when you have a child, you need to be able to learn new behaviors and accommodate them in your life.
Distortion - back and fourth on participation and support, staying connected in crap relationships for fear of sabotaging being plugged in. Fear of banishment. Losing identity. Going overboard to maintain relationships and overboard in reactions to relationships.
(*Discussion on Autism as the very lack of this capacity, with additional compensating mental capacities. One of the women in the group is a researcher at Johns Hopkins who studies Autism in children. Difficulty in sensory integration in autism, not able to take in info of the environment because there is too much, unable to make meaningful connections because too much data. This Zone is that capacity to discern, to plug in, to connect.)
2) Bonding and Affiliating - Create and sustain connection and to know the appropriate nature of the bond. Co-dependency is a way we don't listen to the social instinct.
Distortion - group merging. groups merging around particular ideas on small and large scales. Individualism fails. Nazi German. Smaller example - our class started side-tracking and joking and bonding over joking, Jessica had to stop the fun because we had to continue on with the real work.
3) Participation/Contribution - Having an influence, a contribution, a betterment in the lives of others. When animals and people can't contribute (like in experiments or in concentration camps) they commit suicide or die. Something in us lives by connecting to the human journey.
Distortion - Chronic Reaction to group values. Chronic rebel, chronic supporter. Gang mentality. Consumed by roles. Fixation on affiliation - for or against, ideology is human created. Fixated on something constructed by humans. Identity is asleep. Outlaw.
Social is not just networking, hanging out, liking groups.
The birth of emotion, link between instinct and emotion. Developed roughly 350,000,000 years ago when animals started to care for their young. Colonies and herds form as protection systems for young. Link between parents and children. Birth of social instinct is the parent-child bond - your survival is just as, or more important than mine, your survival is my survival. To care for someone and to receive care.
-Ability to create bonds that are instinctual.
-Involvement in life of others - bonding and connecting.
-Affiliations - what to give my time and energy to, what do you serve and align with?
Play is a big part of social instinct, engaging for the sake of engaging, not needing a reason, not so serious. Americans don't know how to play. Play has to be justified and regulated. Low socials too serious, focus too much on exchange, concerned with 'getting mine'. Humans and animals learn and develop through play.
Connection to emotions tend to be warm, approachable, accessible.
Curiosity. "Who are you? This is who I am."
Social instinct is birth of altruism.
This is about having a call and answering it.
SP - ground of being - time felt as resource, chronos.
SX - dynamicmism of creative being - time felt as chrios.
SO - articulated world, conscious of the great mandala and one's place in it, time as cycle.
Social Blindspot/SO-Last: How do I be with others? Finding ourselves outside participation in life. New connections are a pain in the ass, visit or phone call not a possibility but a drain "what will this cost me?" Interaction seen in terms of exchange, like money. People and connections as burden. There is unconscious shame - defective, broken, emotionally retarded, don't know how to love.
The key for social lasts is not that they have to create or pretend there's a connection, but to find the connections that are already there. The so-last will think it's up to them to make the social happen, so they won't do it at all, but that's the projection by so-lasts on the social sphere.
3 Levels of development:
- Unconscious - Collapsing into or mirroring group, denial of self, lack of self-initiation. Chronic reaction to group values.
- Growing - i have something to contribute, what am i serving?
- Illuminated - surrender to finding one's place in mandala.