
Originally Posted by
fenryrr
I don't think like that at all. That isn't my motivation for being accommodating and 9-ish. I explained in a previous post that I recognize my disconnection from groups, but that I don't really do anything to change it, because I don't consider it worth my energy. I honestly disappear in groups, and rather end up just talking to one person, or no one at all. And that suits me fine.
If you take a look at the Oceanmoonshine profile of sp/so-9s, it is word-for-word repeating what you have described here of yourself.
9-SP/SO: This subtype is the most self-effacing of type Nine, possibly the least assertive of all the enneagram types. They can feel as though they have been looked over and passed by. While they do desire attention and recognition, with the sexual instinct last in the stacking, they seldom actively pursue it. They feel as though it’s just not worth it. This subtype is usually very deliberate and methodical in their speech. They sometimes get frustrated because they don’t feel that they can say what they really want to say. They are therefore often very short and concise with their communication, not wanting to provoke any confrontation. But when given a chance and the time to express themselves, they can be quite talkative. While self-pres needs are important to this type, the fact that they are essentially Nines, sometimes causes them to put the needs of others before their own. When under stress, this type is likely to do busy work, anything that distracts them from their problems.
It is the valued social instinct that grants this ability to blend into your social surroundings. In contrast to so/sp-9, the sp/sx-9 is described to be more "assertive", or it would be more accurate to say more likely to draw attention to themselves. May be you have never noticed it because it comes to you so naturally, but there are people out there who cannot blend in well with others no matter what they do. They have no innate sense of how to accomplish this and they lack awareness that it is a necessity in the first place. This is why social-lasts may appear socially ungracious and undiplomatic, or even downright contentions and crass, and that's just not you. In fact this sort of behavior seems to bother you and you try to suppress it.
Here is something that was written by one of the enneagram forum regulars who has achieved a semi-celebrity status on EIDB board, self-typed as sp/sx 9:
Posted - 23 Apr 2011 : 09:56:23 AM
Sp/sx also has an inverted narcissism (perhaps distorted exhibitionism is more accurate). There's an impulse to open the raincoat and reveal cancerous lesions covering the torso and genitalia. Festering wounds with a stench. It sometimes seems to be a challenge issued around deep, deep bonding: This is me; How real are you willing to be? Psychic nudity/revelation that, in itself, threatens the sp/sx with self-destruction....or at least social self-destruction, which is part of the distilling process toward the one-to-one uber-bond. There's an element of all that with sx in general but sp/sx, in this mode, prefers it truly organically grotesque, leaving a stain and a scar that's hard to interpret.
You can see this sort of drive of "psychic nudity/revelation" as dfgray puts it in hitta's psycho-sexual analyses, hitta being a model example of someone of sp/sx stacking, as well as in comedy of Louis C.K., another sp/sx, in instances when he gets on stage in front of million of viewers and speaks of himself and his wife having sex and the fights he gets into with his children. You in comparison have a much lighter, cleaner 'vibe' and don't engage in these kinds of 'expositions'.

Originally Posted by
fenryrr
I have issues with my family because I don't really consider us a family. I don't even really know what family means, but the obligations of what "family" is are annoying to me, and I don't enjoy having to fit whatever expectations go along with that establishment. I do see the importance of family but I'm not very good at establishing or maintaining it. This tendency of mine probably annoys Ben more than anyone in my life. And he is probably sp/so or so/sp in my opinion. And he often lectures me about it. A good example is...his parents like his hair short. And he explains that he cuts his hair just to keep peace with them because they are his family. And I find that whole incentive to cut your hair absurd.
Which is strange considering that sp/sx's make for good homemakers and housewifes
with their primary sp instinct oriented as domesticity and the secondary instinct at emotional closeness. My family is full of people with either sp/sx or sp/so stackings and from what I have observed it is the people of sp/so stackings who are less aware of the 'blood' ties and sp/sx are the ones who are more likely to sacrifice for the family and do things that they otherwise wouldn't want to do. However, while they often cultivate close familial ties, sp/sx's face an entirely different problem - they hesitate to venture out (so-last) and thus become completely encrusted within their small world and lose awareness of what's happening beyond its confines. Thus, the issue of sp/sx is that they have to push against the diminutive force of sx feeding into sp that is constantly working to shrink their sphere of awareness, otherwise they end up hollowing themselves out. This is why sp/sx is referred to as the most "regressive" one out of the six.
I don't see that kind of diminution happening with you, neither does the bit on "psychic" nudity apply, so I highly question that you are of sp/sx stacking.

Originally Posted by
fenryrr
siuntal - In the past you remarked that I VI sp/so in this picture:
yes, I have commented that when I noticed that on photos you resemble Galen's sp/so face composite the closest, as well as Lykke Li whom I typed as Fi-IEE sp/so, lots of semblance there 

If you want to compare yourself to some other famous examples of people of sp/so and sp/sx stackings here are few videos of each:
Björk - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUKMIlsoevU
Twiggy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOWu0BlyVFU
Matthew Bellamy from Muse (Muse is very sp/so music) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42mesIUG3kI
A few videos of sp/sx for comparison:
Aubrey Plaza - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTgNf3P8O8s
Louis C.K. - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjNgNDZzH5o
Kevin Hart - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xxXI4NkhZ0
Another little tip about your instinct stacking, if you take a look at what your avatar is communicating using the associative interpretations of instincts transcribed from the enneagram boards: Soc = air & sunlight, Sx = fire, electricity, Sp = earth, matter, you avatar picture features a density in the middle (sp) surrounded by empty space and air (so)