Well it works that way. Once can fall powerfully and irrevocably in love pretty fast sometimes, and it can last a lifetime. Yes, you could say it has been "relatively recent", and certainly in relation to a thirty year parent-child relationship. In the same way a young person can have great love for his parents, yet, he must leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. Because there is a sacredness to the Marraige Sacrament. So while nothing can touch a parent-child relationship, there is a sacred cleaving in marraige which is to be respected, too, and also has its sacred boundaries.
This is definately not the issue. His children are his greatest treasures. I love him, and I will always treasure what he treasures.
Well, if he loves me and chooses to live with his adult daughter instead of me, then he doesn't love me enough, for me. And they can have their thing, I will just leave. No problem! I would be okay with that if it were the reality because I want to embrace reality. (Glad that's not the case though.)
At this point, it is certainly codependent support, and not helping her. There are halfway houses that expect responsibility from the patrons. There is no responsibility expected of her at home. Its not doing her any good. [she also has some more pleasant options than a halfway house which her father discussed with me today].
Understandable that grown adult children still have that hope their parents could live happily ever after, and their parent finding happiness with another does destroy that hope, and subsequesnt disgruntlement is understandable. But a grown adult can also have an adult perspective on the situation. He has gone from comsidering himself a complete ruin, and his life, over to new hopes and dreams, like he is back from the dead, and in multiple ways. The user daughter (as in, relationship-user) does not feel happy for him, not enough, as far as I am concerned. She should!
Uh oh, never say never! Things don't always turn out like we plan.
I don't mind the negative interactions as she processes feelings, vents, and expresses her resentment. I think its a healthy thing to get these things on the table, and I want to allow it. I just want to go back to my own home with my own husband afterward.