Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
if you can try to help solve a problem it seems like a waste to throw that away. when all i get is "awww"-ness i tend to assume the person just doesn't know anything useful to say, lol. and if the package the sympathy is in is really expressive and emotional i not only have the lack of practical input but on top of that i have the pressure to respond in a reciprocal way which is even worse.

i don't think anyone wants to have advice shoved down their throat but having some sense of solid ground and something useful to take away from talking about it is what i find most emotionally satisfying about talking with someone about a problem. sticking to the facts is fantastic.
Very good points! There's very little in there, if anything, with which I would disagree.

Perhaps the best approach is to first offer sympathy, and communicate it in such a way that the person feels they've had their 'day in court'. Then, perhaps follow it up with a brass-tacks discussion of the problem, assuming, of course, you're the type of person willing and able to offer a reasonable solution.

You may not be, but worst case scenario, you will probably end up empathizing to some extent, which is perfect for close(r) relationships.