Results 1 to 40 of 100

Thread: Splitoff from Delta lounge

Threaded View

  1. #11
    Serious Left-Static Negativist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    eastern U.S.
    TIM
    ENFp, IEE
    Posts
    3,527
    Mentioned
    361 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post


    And, though I doubt you will believe it, the strife she causes stresses me out. Maritsa was having lots of conflicts with individuals on the forum long before I knew she existed....
    I see there are conflicts but I have not studied them all to understand them. I stumbled on yours first. I have seen some that seem to be some people sensitively aware of their own hurt feelings who say so directly and sharply, as INFJs can.

    I totally believe you are stressed out by it! But it reminds me of how I feel towards my Mom. Learning Socionics sometimes helps me see why, looking back, my Mom would say things I was so sharply hurt or annoyed - and my brothers would be fine! Much of the time her annoying things would be directed at me - but Supervisees are annoyed by their Supervisors! So now I realize it was not all about being the only girl.


    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    For myself, I admit that I am an emotional reactive person. The proper term would be Neurotic. Usually I'm reacting to something before I even know what I'm reacting to. But that initial emotion comes in short bursts and then usually dissipates enough for me to review what was going on when it happened so that I can either resolve what was happening, or find a way to prevent it from happening again.
    Now I wonder how consistent that is with IEE? Because I am not emotionally reactive. I do have the feeling, but I don't understand it, so i don;t want to express it, because of how Fi works with me -- I want to think it through and understand it. I want to get along with everyone, so I am too aware that hasty words I will have to do work to make up for it later. And I am too aware I sometimes perceiving/judging things wrong, and I want to be sure, by thinking it over. I'd rather get my act together about my feelings before I say anything. And I think i read that IEEs do that. Your reaction seems more like my SEE friends. And I like that aobut them, that they know where they stand and will say. I appreciate their honest straightforwardness.

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    If the issue is a little too complex and requires more thought put into it, then I prefer to go for a nice long walk as I figure it out. Walking calms my nerves and reduces the 'jumpiness' of ideas. It's not uncommon for my neighbors to see me walking around the block ranting and raving to myself, lol.
    Omigosh, this is EXACTLY like Cheri! In fact, its nice to walk around here, so if she comes to watch Mom for an afternoon, rather than go right home after, she will be out pacing the neighborhood, often attached to her cell phone. Once I ran out for a quick errand while she was doing this (I will runout if my son is home and she is asleep), and she felt she had to explain what she was doing. But unnecesarry - I totally got it. I know her now. I know her need to pace. Sometimes she will pace in my living room while she watches TV!

    And the line-up of shows, not what I would pick: "Gentlemen prefer Blonds" "How to Marry a Millionaire". Completely different selection than me. But I appreciate them - lighthearted, fun, visually well-dressed and well-made-up cast, lots of laughs. She LOVES these shows. But my Netflex picks are "Bristish Dramas" or, "Dramas based on Classic books"...

    Oh, and my son does not get a lot of her uniqueness. It reminds me of what is said elsewhere about ESFPs:

    In moments of depression, which are not so rare, ESFps like to complain to others that they are not as people think they are and that this is the reason they are often misunderstood. In situations such as these their eyes can become glazed and distant.

    Are you like this? I have seen it in Cheri, Becca and Angi. They are usually upbeat, but can fall into a funk I would describe like that. And they have each made that statement (one I have never made!). I do feel for them at those times.



    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    However, I do not roll over and allow someone to 'misunderstand' over and over again. In particular, I do not like when someone twists something I said/did into something I didn't say/do...or worse...would likely never say/do. I do not like it when people project false motivations and intentions onto me. And if they do it over and over and over again, then I consider it abusive and will respond accordingly. (Nor do I like discovering myself doing that to someone else, and I will recriminate myself for it, and usually remove myself from the situation until I feel stable again.)
    Totally understandable, Annalise! There is not a thing wrong with saying you are offended when you feel you have been offended!


    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    And finally, I do not like being treated as a label. Whether that label be "Bipolar" or "NeFi" or even "E6". I am a person. Those labels happen to describe aspects of myself and what I deal with, but they are far from the totallity of who I am. Just as whatever descriptive categorizations might apply to you are only a portion of who/what you are...or anyone else.
    I totally agree with that. Also I did not know you struggle with Bipolar. That is a cross to bear!

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Now, I admit that I have a 6 year history of getting caught up in this Ti theory and typing people regardless of what they've felt applied to themselves. It bothered me then, and it bothers me now. I feel it was a bad habit to get into, which thankfully doesn't present itself when away from this forum. If I didn't have people I considered friends on this forum, I would not be coming back. As is, I'd like to spend some relaxing time here, where I don't have to deal with the Ti theory. But if I first have to go through this with you, Eliza, then so be it. At least you asked first. Please, present your "little type theory" of my type so we can hopefully move on.
    Now the way I see it is Marista and likely others are very interested in the theory part of the theory, the functions and how they apply to people. While it is a forum for socializing, its also about Socionics theory, and NFs and NTs are likely to be especially into typing people and analyzing aspects of the theory related to how they type people. And if you are present on this forum speaking your mind, these type-analyst types are just going to be doing their typing thing. I understand the frustration of being mistyped. However it it is my mirror or other more positive type in disagreement with me, it would be a lot easier to take than my Supervisee. Just my opinion from my own experience. My INFJ friends, wherein we do not agree, I don;t even need to explain myself. One is not Catholic, and is into stuff I am not into. I accept she does not get my faith and I do not get into what i see is wrong with certain of her beliefs. My Catholic INFJ friend and I are similar in our religious beliefs, but she is adamantly against (for wrong reasons, IMO) a mystic I am very much for. She has gone on why she is against her, and I see the flaw in her judgement, but I see she is closed on that, and guess what? Its just not that important. Its fine with me that we disagree on that. That's the tolerance with Mirrors I think. In my own experience! Unfortunately, the gut reaction in dealing with a Supervisor/supervisee is often inflamed annoyance!


    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Just so you are aware, I find that "NeFi" describes how I process information better than any other element/function combination. This includes the more problematic issues which "NeFi" would naturally face when dealing with certain types of information. I hope you will be prepared to answer questions such as how an NeFi might perceive or internally react to whatever your 'proof' is, as well as what necessarily prevents an NeFi from even dealing with your 'proof' in the way it was dealt with.
    I may not be prepared to deal with that. Its really about relating you to SEEs I know, as well as the differences inhow you and I seem to approach things which in my theory its because we are SEE/IEE. I think I really get you becasue we are "Lookalikes". But I see just enough of a difference, that S/N . Just a small difference in how we seem to approach things. And about how your frustration with Marista I feel as if its mine, since its exactly how i feel with my Mom at times!

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    If you think I am being too harsh,
    Not at all! I understand because I am in the same spot, all too often!

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    And...when this particular conver is over, hopefully we can then relax and spend some time interacting as we might normally and comfortably do.
    We don't have to convince each other of anything. I am fine with your reaction being "just doesn't resonate with me" (my non-Catholic INFJs favorite phrase!) or whatever. I am open to your genuine reaction to what I said. Its just not that important. I am just sharing my impressions.

    If you are in fact SEE and end up embracing that, there is no reason you cannot lounge in Delta as your primary "lounge" as the resident SEE, or wherever you feel most comfortable. When I was spending more time on PerC I used to "lounge" in the ISTP forum, because I was comfortable there, since I love an ISTP. I was a "resident ENFP" there, and there were resident INFJs, ENTJs, ENFJs, ISTJs, etc. also lounging there with the mostly ISTPs... Be who you want to be!

    P.S. Is the following true of you?? It is so true of my friend Cheri! :
    In day to day matters ESFps can be forgetful and careless. They may forget to switch off home appliances etc. When cooking a dish that requires constant supervision, they can often neglect and ruin it.
    Cheri is not a fancy cook, there are funny things left in the fridge when I return. Its about expediency for her, getting the meal on the table! While I relate to that, as I sometimes will make whatever takes the least possible work, other times, often enough, I want to get a good new different thoughtful recipe and make something that is more of a work of art (as in the art of cooking).... Every once in a while, I want to make something really, really hard from scratch, just to know I can do it. I am going to make my SLI Beef Wellington one day - quite a project, because I read in his journals when he was in England that he had it, and really loved it....

    My SEE friend Cheri would never do that. However, she is so reliable for spur of the moment. If someone is home-bound, she will boil some egg noodles and open a can of whatever is sitting on the edge of the shelf to mix in, and bring it over. Or there is an impromptu get-together, and she will pull out cake mix and fast make a cake to bring along. No frosting, no problem, whatever is there - Christmas sprinkles? Will do. And I love that I can count on her to come last-minute for my Mom, too. If she is free, she will come. I really value that!
    Last edited by Eliza Thomason; 08-10-2012 at 01:27 AM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •