@Eliza Thomason
And, though I doubt you will believe it, the strife she causes stresses me out. Maritsa was having lots of conflicts with individuals on the forum long before I knew she existed. When I first met her, I too spent time trying to figure out why she acted the way she did towards particular people. I too had wanted to help her resolve the conflicts she kept having with other deltans. Perhaps your E2ness will help you reach where my E6ness could not. I wish you luck with that...for her sake.Because the strife between you stresses me, and I like to try to figure that stuff out (conflict-resolution for my mind, I guess). That's the "Psychologist" part of my type, maybe.
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Question: if you don't know me well enough to know what annoys me regarding retypings, then how can you feel that you know me well enough to tell me what's going on in my head?I don't know you well enough to know if discussion of your type just annoys you, or if its just Marista's discussion of your type that annoys you. That's why I offer to PM it.
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For myself, I admit that I am an emotional reactive person. The proper term would be Neurotic. Usually I'm reacting to something before I even know what I'm reacting to. But that initial emotion comes in short bursts and then usually dissipates enough for me to review what was going on when it happened so that I can either resolve what was happening, or find a way to prevent it from happening again.I respect INFJs for the ability to know and name their own feelings so instantly. For me, its different. Something happens, and all I know is I feel bad/uncomfortable, and I can't name what has thrown off my equilibrium. So I don't address it - I will almost never say I am offended at the time I am offended - I need to be alone and think it out awhile before I can uncover what it is that hurt or offended me. Then I usually work it out with myself alone! Only if I feel it wil benefit the other person personally (personal growth) or my relationship with that person will I let them know what they did that offended me. But usually I let it go. Or I decide, "Next time, if they say something similar, I will say __"
If the issue is a little too complex and requires more thought put into it, then I prefer to go for a nice long walk as I figure it out. Walking calms my nerves and reduces the 'jumpiness' of ideas. It's not uncommon for my neighbors to see me walking around the block ranting and raving to myself, lol. Sometimes I ask for someone else's opinions about what they saw. I try to see the situation through their eyes, as I try to find out if there's information I may be missing, or something I may have overlooked. In this case, it is more helpful to either talk with someone who was there to witness it themself, or describe the event as objective as I can. Regarding online communications, it's easier to just ask the person to read what happened and then ask them questions about what they perceive was happening. Basically, I want to know as much as I can about the situation before I figure out what might have been happening, and ways to maybe resolve or prevent it from happening again.
Usually it comes down to misunderstandings on one or both sides. If I missed or misunderstood something, I let them know. If I feel they missed or misunderstood something, then I will try to clarify it if I feel it is important enough. If clarification isn't important enough, then I'll usually resume as if the misunderstanding never happened.
However, I do not roll over and allow someone to 'misunderstand' over and over again. In particular, I do not like when someone twists something I said/did into something I didn't say/do...or worse...would likely never say/do. I do not like it when people project false motivations and intentions onto me. And if they do it over and over and over again, then I consider it abusive and will respond accordingly. (Nor do I like discovering myself doing that to someone else, and I will recriminate myself for it, and usually remove myself from the situation until I feel stable again.)
I am rather slow to make judgments or draw firm conclusions. I prefer to discuss various ways of looking at a situation, and various approaches to it. Often I can easily see conflicting povs, without determining either as 'right' or 'wrong'. This has been benficial when helping someone else through their own situation/issue. I help them look at it in different ways, more helpful ways. But I admit that I find it difficult to deal with those persons who just are not interested in resolving their difficulties, or those who would prefer to blame everyone else without accepting their own responsibility for what's happening. I refuse to cater to this mentality.
And finally, I do not like being treated as a label. Whether that label be "Bipolar" or "NeFi" or even "E6". I am a person. Those labels happen to describe aspects of myself and what I deal with, but they are far from the totallity of who I am. Just as whatever descriptive categorizations might apply to you are only a portion of who/what you are...or anyone else.
Now, I admit that I have a 6 year history of getting caught up in this Ti theory and typing people regardless of what they've felt applied to themselves. It bothered me then, and it bothers me now. I feel it was a bad habit to get into, which thankfully doesn't present itself when away from this forum. If I didn't have people I considered friends on this forum, I would not be coming back. As is, I'd like to spend some relaxing time here, where I don't have to deal with the Ti theory. But if I first have to go through this with you, Eliza, then so be it. At least you asked first. Please, present your "little type theory" of my type so we can hopefully move on.
Just so you are aware, I find that "NeFi" describes how I process information better than any other element/function combination. This includes the more problematic issues which "NeFi" would naturally face when dealing with certain types of information. I hope you will be prepared to answer questions such as how an NeFi might perceive or internally react to whatever your 'proof' is, as well as what necessarily prevents an NeFi from even dealing with your 'proof' in the way it was dealt with.
If you think I am being too harsh, please keep in mind that you chose to approach me through a Ti theory rather than spend time actually interacting with me or getting to know me yourself. If you wish to have any influence over how I perceive how I process information, I would be asking that you also spend some effort trying to actually 'see' how I might have been processing that info. Iow, you're coming at me through my Ti polr...so don't expect it welcoming.
And...when this particular conver is over, hopefully we can then relax and spend some time interacting as we might normally and comfortably do.



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