anti depressants

[Gilly]

Yeah I know what you mean, once you learn the independent effects, bad combos kind of become emergently obvious. If you come up short, you can always text me, lol...

But pharms are a different ballgame, never know what the fuck they're cooking up.

[Gilly]

Some interactions aren't immediately obvious though, e.g. the LSD and lithium one that Gilly mentioned. Luckily there's erowid and bluelight and drugs-forum and shroomery and psychonaut and (my personal favourite) Yahoo! Answers.

Lol I actually knew about the interactions when I did it, had read a million and one stories where people seized, died, freaked out, etc. But I was really depressed and didn't care.

[Radio]

the only other drugs i've done this week are cocaine, molly, mushrooms, alcohol, and weed.

no judgment but only? you mean you normally do more than this?

[Gilly]

Well it's not like she's doing research chemicals, at least...

[Lotus]

yeah i've never intentionally done research chemicals. accidently took LSA once but i thought it was LSD. it was like a sedative kinda psychedelic pretty lame.

@ radio: nah i typed only when i thought i had only smoked weed and drank alcohol this week, i edited in the other stuff later once i remembered them but forgot to remove the "only"

it's day 8 so i had to double my celexa from 20mg to 40 today. i felt like my brain was being squeezed all day

[Gilly]

LSA isn't a research chemical, its actually the naturally occurring component of LSD. Found in abundance in morning glory seeds, for some reason.

[strrrng]

the point seems to be that once you're already poisoned, a slightly more legitimized version can't hurt. except that once the illicit seal is broken, all is lost and tossed back like you never forgot. except you did. maybe research chemicals are a good compromise between the two extremes, but I'm still glad I threw away the extra 2ce pills I had, else I wouldn't be here today speaking of it. that being said, I'm no more insane than you, it's only about how comfortable you are with perceptions, which I think is the key here, stretching oneself in every direction at once, then it's supposed to take form. and yeah, it's a way to guarantee as much, but only after every mangled remnant of your corpse has been fed back to a cobra and blah blah. maybe that's appealing, we're living through the end days, so you might as well stake the fundamentals on rapturous chemtrails. but even then you're still wondering, just how far can I go, except you're the boundary, and it never existed to begin with. so you give away the stone and from the sea emerges a lost continent. well, you're not prone to psychosis, so the omg drugz issue is moot, but when it comes down to primordial control, being thrown through a tempest of chemical states won't so much backfire as just reveal itself in true form. and so this medication has to drain you before it takes effect, like if you're still worthy, it won't impair the hallucinogenic composure. and maybe it won't, but what will that prove? so it's another derivative of a derivative until you forget what you were distilling in the first place. and then you die.

[Scapegrace]

I had a heterosexual (male) friend who took celexa and actually started having homosexual desires. Weird, no? I can't even begin to imagine how disconcerting that must be.

Honestly I think that SSRI's should only be used as a very last resort. Physicians are *not* honest about how difficult it is to get off of them once one has become dependent. Your brain essentially stops producing the right chemicals independently and its almost impossible to reset that balance.

Also: way to admit to illegally selling drugs on the Internet. *thumbs up*

[Lotus]

this ain't facebook babe, it's an anonymous socionics forum. and like anyone gives a shit about some 20 yr old claiming she sells her prescription pills.

but yes, that IS weird. I am slightly disturbed by that... i've always been against them but I thought it couldn't hurt to.give them a month, or does it?

[Scapegrace]

this ain't facebook babe, it's an anonymous socionics forum. and like anyone gives a shit about some 20 yr old claiming she sells her prescription pills.

but yes, that IS weird. I am slightly disturbed by that... i've always been against them but I thought it couldn't hurt to.give them a month, or does it?

You're not going to be 20 years old forever. At some point you will grow up and care about your reputation. I am sure there is *something* on this forum to link your to your real name. You don't want it to come back in haunt you in five years.

I've had it happen and it's deeply embarrassing. Luckily I was only in my early/mid-teens and going through a traumatic time during my awkward Internet phase, so people tend to be forgiving, but I still find it shameful and I wish I could unsay 99% of what I wrote.

I don't think that you will do much harm trying them for a month, but I hope you will do a lot research and make sure that you really *need* an SSRI before you take them any longer than three months.

[Lotus]

fair enough.

honestly i'm only doing this because several different psychiatrists/counselors/psychotherapists (whatever the difference may be) have tried to get me on anti-depressants and i've refused for years. a few months ago my regular psych. decided i shouldn't be on such a high dose of xanax anymore (i wasn't actually taking them all though) so he wanted me to try something more "long-term" and not just a "quick fix." so since then i've had to lie to him about how zoloft, seraquil, or whatever it was called, etc. haven't been working or make me feel weird. when really i've just been not filling those prescriptions at all. i'm just tired of that. i feel like i ought to give it a month to actually KNOW what it's like. maybe i don't take my mental health seriously enough, but i like to know first-hand what different psychological states feel like and anti-depressants are the one thing i've always avoided. i'm just gonna try this. i still don't think i need to be on anti-depressants. i'm functional, i don't depend on anyone but myself. i work all the time, i'm social, maybe slightly depressed but having to drop out of your dream school because you had to get a restraining order and feeling like you're a waste of talent can do that. but since it runs in the family and "experts" want them on them so badly i'm going to try this for the time being.

[blackburry]

people don't stay beautiful/young/free forever that's for damn sure. I work on a floor where young people stroke out from cocaine and other drug use. being a vegetable sure isn't pretty.

just sayin' shit happens. especially to people who experiment just b/c their "young"

but then i'm not the least bit spiritual or care about that kind of thing.. the biggest eye-opener I've ever had was working in a hospital.
and that quite a handful of friends I knew in high school died for various reasons: drunk driving, had a brain bleed after taking some drug, broke their neck from zip-lining.
my world view is pretty much: you live for a certain amount of time and then you die, and that's it.

[Lotus]

True that.

Well its day 15. No real negative side effects anymore except the lack of orgasm thing so I just don't masturbate to avoid being.frustrated. I have extremely.vivid dreams now, fully colorful and dramatic ones, with fast-paced intense things happening. They used to be unmemorable, strange, and slow moving with no real plot. LAtely about friends survivng horrible accidents yet wishing they had.died. for instance one was of a bartender I work with losing part of his brain and instead of being grateful he lived he was angry. Another one featured a friend struggling to walk again but falling, while he was proud of his progress his girlfriend looked horrified. Idk.

I still hallucinate for.the first 20 minutes or so after I wake up. I forgot to mention this earlier but its been consistent. The walls move up and down and anywhere two walls meet I.e. corners tend to wiggle. It goes away when I get out of bed and get ready for work.

Mentally Idk if I feel a huge difference. I guess life feels a little easier to deal with? Shit that would normally ruin my day just kind of bounces off of me. A little more at ease socially. Like growing up I had crippling social anxiety. Like I would dread someone asking me to go to the movies with them in middle school. But growing up with guys givingme a lot of attention plus working in service jobs my whole life I became an observer of social norms to communicate casually with others. Not to sound arrogant but with each year that passes people show more and more interest in me, which helped my confidence but the anxiety was always there. I'd still get a ping of anxiety when people text me cause I'm no good at knowing what to say back half the time or how exactly to say it. Ive always with the exception of a few people had to force myself to stop guessing myself and hit send.

Point being the celexa just seems to make what I've already been forcing myself to do a lot easier. Id compare it to a good cleaning rather than a renovation.

Otherwise I don't feel anything different.

[Gilly]

Yeah sounds about right.