I think I've found my type but

[SLeo123083]

Sorry. I'm just another person that's still confused about the INFJ/INFP thing. I've read and read a lot of stuff on the net already, I just...don't get it.

Anyway, about me:

I have very weak ...sometimes if I'm criticized on this enough I'll burst into tears around everyone or I'll lash out in unpredictable anger.

I'm very dreamy and introspective like INFPs. I'm lazy like them.

For conflicting relationships, I usually can't stand ESTPs. My first boss was one and we just wanted to punch each other in the face at all times.

I want to make the world a better place, although because of my poor I rarely if ever follow through. I care about people in a general sense, but I prefer deeper relationships with a few people instead of more casual relationships with many people. I can be quite logical and intelligent, but I frequently let my emotions get in the way of decision making. (I wish I had more examples for you, but maybe I will later)

I can be romantic and lovey-dovey, but not excessively so. My emotions look hidden to those around me and I can even seem dull and unintersting.

And although I consider myself a 'humanist' I doubt other people would type me as that. I just show a different outward face to different people. Some people think I'm domineering, other people think I'm friendly. I only show the 'real me' to my closest friends. My best friends say I'm like a healer type though, whatever that means.

The other reason I think I'm INFJ is because ESTJ seems very dual-like to me, although I dunno. My best friend is one I think, she's very powerful but in a lesuirely way. We just like to hang out and be close to each other...and unlike ESTPs she doesn't make me feel uncomfortable.

Then again, sometimes ESTPs don't bother me much at all and that's where I think my INFP side comes in. It's like they frustrate me even more because I half-love them, half-hate them. But umm it all depends, really. I just can't stand when people are bossy and in your face though. (even if they don't mean to be, it's more like if I perceive them as too aggressive, I'll shy away)

So hmm anyway here's a couple pics of moi: (I wish I had a better one sorry but these are really the best)

[SLeo123083]

Another thing:

I'm known to have a very childlike sense of humor with close friends, like I totally open up and act about half my age. (but then again who doesn't, a lot of friends act like this I guess...)

I'm also very sensitive, but to people who don't really understand me it looks as though I'm the opposite.

I don't know if that helps but...just tell me what you think!

[pesto]

You don't have to be in conflict with every ESTp to be INFj. One of my oldest friends is one. (But I doubt we could ever be close.)

Exactly what is it that bothers you with some of the ESTps?

[SLeo123083]

Hmm they just make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin kinda. They easily point out my flaws... we can get along at first as there seems to be an initial attraction like 'hey you're different' but soon it's clear we don't like each other. It's just really hard to relax and be myself around them. I always feel like I have to perform. (they hit my very well)

I realize that might sound kinda too socionic text book-y, but the description of what I don't like about people tends to fit with ESTPs the most. So other people might find them energetic, confident, etc, I find them boisterous, arrogant and just plain mean. This is hella over-exaggerating I know but they kinda look demonic and angry all the time.

[pesto]

Hehe, yeah, I agree that you're probably INFj. And I guess when you don't validate them you ignore their hidden agenda, which puts them off. (To me that's the most annoying thing with some ESTps, their constant need for validation.)

[Expat]

So far you seem to be much more like an INFj than INFp.

[SLeo123083]

Hmm yeah it seems to fit the most!

Thanks guys. I'll go with that.

(I just talked to a friend and she said 'yeah Sam, you're such an INFJ')

And yes, it's like I piss them off without even trying. Like they just act disgusted with me for being myself. And I just don't like them either. I dunno it's inspired me to make a funny comic about the whole thing lmao.

I've been lurking here for quite awhile btw. =)

[pesto]

What I've noticed is that ESTps may not always mean harm with their comments on your things and apparance. That doesn't mean it's not "wrong" for them to point it out, but I try to keep that in mind when I need to get along with them. I think they even do it to bond with you sometimes.

Of course it's not a god basis for friendship to feel constantly critizised and I don't particullary like to knowingly putting myself in a submissive position, but it might be worth it to make things smoother in some situations. If there are other ways around it I sure would like to know, though.

[SLeo123083]

I wonder if that's true. The ESTPs I don't get along with seem to be the ones that fit the stereotype to a T though.

As for bonding, I don't get that. I don't really understand where they're coming from so it's hard to say. I think they're just being themselves and we're just being ourselves, and we just...naturally clash.

But that brings me to my next point. I can see how I get offended from somebody criticizing my external senses. But how in the world can you even get offended by your 'internal intuition.' (or whatever their weakness is) LMAO I'm not even sure if I understand that properly. Does it mean they'd get all upset if we say they have no sense of the future?

I don't get it. I'd never say that to them, because I'd consider it rude. It's like they have more leeway to hurt us yet forever reason, they usually get just as offended as we do in the relationship. So whatever I'm doing, I'm hitting a nerve with them...I just don't know what. ::sigh:: I can somehow make them really angry. (and vice-versa)

[pesto]

I wonder if that's true. The ESTPs I don't get along with seem to be the ones that fit the stereotype to a T though.

As for bonding, I don't get that. I don't really understand where they're coming from so it's hard to say. I think they're just being themselves and we're just being ourselves, and we just...naturally clash.

Yup. But the way I see it you have the choice to surrender to your shortcomings or work yourself around them. And for me to not get along with ESTps is a shortcoming in me, even if I percieve them as rude. It helped me a lot to see an ESTp I've clashed with being very much herself and still get along with my friends. Then she can't be all bad, you know. And it's not like I'm all good for that matter.

But that brings me to my next point. I can see how I get offended from somebody criticizing my external senses. But how in the world can you even get offended by your 'internal intuition.' (or whatever their weakness is) LMAO I'm not even sure if I understand that properly. Does it mean they'd get all upset if we say they have no sense of the future?

I don't get it. I'd never say that to them, because I'd consider it rude. It's like they have more leeway to hurt us yet forever reason, they usually get just as offended as we do in the relationship. So whatever I'm doing, I'm hitting a nerve with them...I just don't know what. ::sigh:: I can somehow make them really angry. (and vice-versa)

Maybe this will help to explain it. http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...?p=99048#99048

[Kristiina]

Rather INFj than INFp. No doubt about it (for now).

[Slacker]

I vote INFj too

[Joy]

*chimes in* INFj

[dreamer]

You sound EXACTLY like me. We are like the boy and girl version of INFJ.

As for bonding, I don't get that. I don't really understand where they're coming from so it's hard to say. I think they're just being themselves and we're just being ourselves, and we just...naturally clash.

Exactly it. *nods* So sad.

Just keep talking to a minimium and it wouldn't be awkward.

[SLeo123083]

Wow, Herzy, your description really helped me. And I can kinda see how my nondirectness is very annoying to you. I would probably never say 'your breath stinks' out loud or 'your bothering me, go away.' The ESTPs I know appreciate brutal honesty like that and I rarely give it. Your type just intimidates me because you're good at everything I'm not!

Also people say I irritate others because I can kinda seem holier-than-thou like I'm too good for whatever it is they're talking about. Really, it's kinda the opposite...I'm self-conscious and don't want to let my weakness show. And I guess, sometimes I do feel like I'm 'above' whatever there is they're talking about. I just don't get much satifsfaction out of doing anything very physical. It really drains me... I start to feel so very uncomfortable and I just want to run out of the room. (although I never do, as I would find that very rude but I so WANT to)

I don't make friends easily because people think I'm morally judging/criticzing them all the time. I dunno...but it can be frustrating. Like I can kinda look down on them like I'm God sometimes without trying to be. I can easily shift the emotions in the room just by my prescence and it seems like a lot of people toughen up around me. Like I'm the guy at school that would turn you in for breaking a rule LOL. I guess my can be very overpowering. I don't know my own strengths sometimes I think.

On the flip side though, I can be a good target for bullies that really see right through my weakness and know that 'I'm not so great.' Yeah it's hard to not let your Polr show...I'm still trying how to find how to not let it embarrass me in public. Like just the other day I was trying to open this like freezer thingy in front of everybody and I was like OH GOD PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW I'M A COMPLETE DOLT FOR NOT GETTING THIS OPEN PLEASEDON'TPLEASEDON'T PLEASE DON'T and hehe and thankfully, they didn't say anything. Whew!

I've been watching you for awhile (INFJs can be pervy like that LOL) and you seem really cool and friendly.

I think I've just been unlucky with ESTPs... *sigh* I think I met the evil kind and not the good kind lol.

[SLeo123083]

My mom is ESFJ and God Knows she can be annoying in her own way.

I'm not close to many ESFPs. I just like to criticize them a lot, for some reason.

[SLeo123083]

I am fairly confident in all of my abilities except for when it comes down to actually DOING something physical. Like I could save/change the world I just won't. >< INFj is the best type, you'd just never know it cause we're so hidden!!!

I hate doing things that draw a lot of attention to myself, I like recognition but in private, intimate circles.

I picked my type based on intertype relations as well. Like INTj seems very Lookalike-ish to me.