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I don't think anybody just makes themselves be a better person. It's silly to think that just YOU alone do it. Nobody got where they were *completely* by themselves. It plays a huge part sure, but they also learned how to trust the right people. I remember I started changing for the better when I actually found people who were empathetic to how I was feeling and didn't just take me hyper literally. It's such a nice feeling when I can talk to somebody and not feel judged or hurt. Most people you gotta put on some sort of mask or just fake it because they will be too harsh with your feelings. And I mean that's okay, that's just how "the world" is you know... but I would have probably killed myself w/o the empathy of others sometimes haha.
And honestly I believe the right emotional energy from somebody else can heal/cure almost anything. We've all read the inspiring story about the person during childhood who was sociopathically bullied and tormented all his life. He couldn't "Just get over It" because they were so mean to him, but then later on he found a supportive family who really cared about him and grew to be a very successful and powerful person.
I know it's wrong to get too attached to just one person because it's like stuck-y death (though I wish people wouldn't always be so cynical in romantic relationships). But we need community and we need each other. It goes hand in hand. Once the emotional boo-boos are truly healed that person can grow to be even more independent. I don't believe in socialism but I believe in community.
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