(gchat)

Him: honestly, I'm a disaster at tying people up
It's mostly just lead to me getting a concussion, or being the one tied up

me: oh god.
hahahaha
(literally sitting at my kitchen table laughing)

Him: or being like "no no no, let me get out my rope book, the navy one"

me: hahahaha
it's okay, i can just tie you up.

Him: ...

me: (i'm mostly kidding.)

Him: (just don't handcuff me to a park bench and then sodomize me with a pool cue in front of a group of angry fraternity brothers"

me: WTF


(insert feelings of amusement, bewilderment, and sadness.)