Is it a comfortable politness or a forced one?
I know that with NiFe's I have to be careful of what I say, as it easily leads to misunderstandings and arguments. I constantly feel as if I'm walking on nails around them. "Beta harshness" with "Delta over-sensitivities" sounds like an apt description.
I'm glad to hear that apologies work with FeNis, cuz even when I try to apologize to my NiFe friend, the apology gets accused of being patronizing or some other negative thing. I haven't been able to get one to come out right even once, yet.
Edited to add, ugh, sorry for the tangent, feel free to ignore it. I'm more curious about the first question.