Finally a WA self-type thread

[Eye of the Potato]

Perhaps you're right EoP.

I don't know. I mean getting pinned down can be pretty arousing.

Hmm. I think wawa is a bit too EP to be EII. Also, she seems pretty Ne. Nonetheless she feels different from Ne-IEE or Fi-IEE for that matter.

Ne-EII?

I'm sort of thinking I'm wrong now after reading her reply.

[Suz]

Can I ask what tips on how to get along with you, in particular, you identified with in the enneagramme link?

Oh um, actually all of them. In particular just letting me know i'm appreciated; makes me work even harder for you and gives me motivation to do an even better job. I guess that one is the most key. Caring about my needs is something that I find really thoughtful and considerate; it means a lot to me when someone is that way (sincerely of course; I can tell when someone isnt being sincere). I do fear rejection, even if i dont admit it, or if i act like i dont care. If I'm trying to be friends with someone, and the littlest thing happens that makes me doubt reciprocity, I can get really really hurt and overreact--heck it happened recently with the new Te-SLI . I sometimes will even take measures to avoid putting myself in situations where i might get rejected, including (at extremes) avoiding going out socializing in places where i dont know anyone. I mean, I do it especially when i'm lonely enough, but I'm very sensitive to whether people seem like they are receptive or not. If I get the sense that the place seems too cliqueish, I will be extremely cautious about reaching out, and possibly never go there again, unless I happen to make a good friend, etc. This might be a general thing with most people in new places, but I get the sense that I am particularly sensitive to that. Might also be an IEE E2 thing.

Oh the other thing i related to in that link was the "Take a sincere interest in their life; dont let them transfer the focus back to you." Why did i relate to that? So I am constantly interested in getting to know people, and I can definitely lead the conversation to try to get to know someone. Also, if I'm talking too much about myself I will feel bad about being so selfish in the conversation, so I will make efforts to make the convo balanced, going back and forth, you then me then you then me, then you, etc. OK so all this so far is going against that statement in quotes, right? So if i'm constantly asking the other person about themselves, and i'm not getting any reciprocal interest, I get the feeling that that person is not interested in me or getting to know me or being friends with me. That also makes me feel like I might be annoying the person, because they might just be trying to be "nice" by answering my questions, but they just want me to go away since they arent' asking me any questions back. After a while, I will become disappointed and/or lose interest because I really dont want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with me. So if someone reciprocates the interest by asking me about myself, that's great. If someone doesn't let me transfer the focus back to them, that means even more (to an extent). To a point, it can give me a clue that they are truly interested in me. Past the point can actually get suspicious to me, because if they dont want to talk about themselves they might be hiding something, so it's not an absolute. But you get the idea.

"Be gentle and tactful when giving criticism. Dont tell them they are being illogical or taking things too personally". OK i get this one ALL the time. Especially from my mom. UGH. Sometimes it's turned out to be true (that I took something too personally) and i'm working on that, but when i'm upset and i'm being told i took it too personally, it's just not helpful. That's all i can really explain about that. My mom's mantra since i was a little kid for me has been that i'm too sensitive to criticism. Which I've always refused to admit, even now. I love criticism, but it has to be constructive because otherwise what's the point of the criticism?? Just to make me feel bad? If i'm doing something wrong, I need to know what the right way is then, and why and how. Friendliness as opposed to meanness in the criticism also helps the constructiveness of it.

"Help them set limits to their giving so they dont get physically and emotionally exhausted." Just all around true for me. I am so prone to going way past my limits. Some of this i associate with Si/Te-dual seeking as well.

[Reuben]

With regard to your mothers advice, I think it's important for people to follow their own instincts. It would probably be wise for an SEI to let an ILE chase them, but if you want an SLI, it's probably best to let them know straight up how you feel about them. Since they have such a hard time figuring out their feelings, it makes it easier if they know where they stand with you.

I like the bolded part. I love attractive women telling me how they feel about me without playing games.

[Suz]

Perhaps you're right EoP.

I don't know. I mean getting pinned down can be pretty arousing.

Hmm. I think wawa is a bit too EP to be EII. Also, she seems pretty Ne. Nonetheless she feels different from Ne-IEE or Fi-IEE for that matter.

Ne-EII?

Yeah that's the other thing that makes me lean IEE for myself... i do relate to the Ep temperament more so than Ij... or even Ej for that matter. I tend to function in bursts, i like spontaneity, i'm pretty good with rolling with changes and being flexible, I'd say i'm pretty energetic overall (more than the SLI i'm talking to nowadays anyway ), I mean i dont notice my energy level until i'm with someone who is less energetic than me, i just find it normal. I can be very impulsive.

[Eye of the Potato]

Oh um, actually all of them. In particular just letting me know i'm appreciated; makes me work even harder for you and gives me motivation to do an even better job. I guess that one is the most key. Caring about my needs is something that I find really thoughtful and considerate; it means a lot to me when someone is that way (sincerely of course; I can tell when someone isnt being sincere). I do fear rejection, even if i dont admit it, or if i act like i dont care. If I'm trying to be friends with someone, and the littlest thing happens that makes me doubt reciprocity, I can get really really hurt and overreact--heck it happened recently with the new Te-SLI . I sometimes will even take measures to avoid putting myself in situations where i might get rejected, including (at extremes) avoiding going out socializing in places where i dont know anyone. I mean, I do it especially when i'm lonely enough, but I'm very sensitive to whether people seem like they are receptive or not. If I get the sense that the place seems too cliqueish, I will be extremely cautious about reaching out, and possibly never go there again, unless I happen to make a good friend, etc. This might be a general thing with most people in new places, but I get the sense that I am particularly sensitive to that. Might also be an IEE E2 thing.

When I'm in a situation like the one you mentioned, I'm not all that sensitive to people's reactions to me. I generally just expect people will like me. I feel confident in my ability to talk to anyone, from any walk of life. In fact, I thrive on it. I would see a cliqueey group as a challenge. One example I could give you, was when I was 17, and working as a lowly attendant/cleaner in a hospital. I didn't realise at the time that the nurses ate lunch separately from the lowly attendants/scrubbers. I sat down with a bunch of nurses and started chatting away. It took me a while to register that they were outraged I had the nerve to barge in on their lunch time.

Oh the other thing i related to in that link was the "Take a sincere interest in their life; dont let them transfer the focus back to you." Why did i relate to that? So I am constantly interested in getting to know people, and I can definitely lead the conversation to try to get to know someone. Also, if I'm talking too much about myself I will feel bad about being so selfish in the conversation, so I will make efforts to make the convo balanced, going back and forth, you then me then you then me, then you, etc. OK so all this so far is going against that statement in quotes, right? So if i'm constantly asking the other person about themselves, and i'm not getting any reciprocal interest, I get the feeling that that person is not interested in me or getting to know me or being friends with me. That also makes me feel like I might be annoying the person, because they might just be trying to be "nice" by answering my questions, but they just want me to go away since they arent' asking me any questions back. After a while, I will become disappointed and/or lose interest because I really dont want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with me. So if someone reciprocates the interest by asking me about myself, that's great. If someone doesn't let me transfer the focus back to them, that means even more (to an extent). To a point, it can give me a clue that they are truly interested in me. Past the point can actually get suspicious to me, because if they dont want to talk about themselves they might be hiding something, so it's not an absolute. But you get the idea.

People who only ever want to talk about themselves, and talk over me when I want to talk about my life, get on my nerves. But if I am talking about myself, I wouldn't say I focus too much on reciprocating. I would make an effort to balance the conversation, yes, but it wouldn't be at the forefront of my mind. The way you said you put the focus back on the other person a lot, makes me think EII, for the simple reason, they make excellent counsellors. IEE's can be great counsellors too, but nobody beats the EII for their ability to listen with all of their mind, as opposed to a sometimes easily distracted IEE. I only half listen to people a lot of the time. Not because I don't care. My mind just wanders off. Usually I can get the drift of what they are saying though.

"Be gentle and tactful when giving criticism. Dont tell them they are being illogical or taking things too personally". OK i get this one ALL the time. Especially from my mom. UGH. Sometimes it's turned out to be true (that I took something too personally) and i'm working on that, but when i'm upset and i'm being told i took it too personally, it's just not helpful. That's all i can really explain about that. My mom's mantra since i was a little kid for me has been that i'm too sensitive to criticism. Which I've always refused to admit, even now. I love criticism, but it has to be constructive because otherwise what's the point of the criticism?? Just to make me feel bad? If i'm doing something wrong, I need to know what the right way is then, and why and how. Friendliness as opposed to meanness in the criticism also helps the constructiveness of it.

My daughter is actually EII. I don't like criticism, but I have noticed, she dislikes it even more. I am always very careful when I critique any of her work, and have explained to her at length the value of constructive criticism. Yet, she can still get a bit of a face on her when I tell her she can do better. She actually made a video recently, on her youtube channel, concerning people disliking her videos. I think only 2 people disliked it. lol. She gets really worked up about that.

"Help them set limits to their giving so they dont get physically and emotionally exhausted." Just all around true for me. I am so prone to going way past my limits. Some of this i associate with Si/Te-dual seeking as well.

Again, this sounds more like EII than IEE to me. I'm giving, but I don't think I have the capacity to focus on any one thing for long enough to become exhasted by it. Well, it would be true in the case of looking after my daughter, but with other people, not so much. Like you said, type 2 could be something to do with it. I haven't really looked into the enneagramm, so I can't say one way or the other, but someone recently told me I displayed type 6 tendencies and after reading about it, it seemed to fit pretty well.

Have you been feeling particularly lonely recently? This could be making you feel a little less than sociable. Life circumstances can make us forget who we are at our core, as we lose confidence in ourselves.

[Eye of the Potato]

I haven't mastered the multi-quote way yet. Sorry about that!

[Eye of the Potato]

Yeah that's the other thing that makes me lean IEE for myself... i do relate to the Ep temperament more so than Ij... or even Ej for that matter. I tend to function in bursts, i like spontaneity, i'm pretty good with rolling with changes and being flexible, I'd say i'm pretty energetic overall (more than the SLI i'm talking to nowadays anyway ), I mean i dont notice my energy level until i'm with someone who is less energetic than me, i just find it normal. I can be very impulsive.

I'm not sure if it's my influence on my daughter, or if this is true for EII's in general but she can roll with changes to her schedule and often changes arrangements, much to the annoyance of her LSI father. Yet, she often picks a day to do things and will remind me when that day is approaching. She likes to know when she will be doing something. I'm often not in the mood to do said thing when it arrives, but do it anyway so as not to dissapoint her.

She is a lot more organised than I am too. She has said that she goes through a list of things she needs to do in her head as a routine. I only do this sporadically. Very sporadically.

[Eye of the Potato]

I like the bolded part. I love attractive women telling me how they feel about me without playing games.

I like the way you specified "attractive" women lol.

[Reuben]

Well yea I'm actually not enthusiastic about the other kinds...

not being mean but yea.




Do you like playing games? I mean not before a relationship but when you're already in one. I love playing games. Like teasing, bluffing, negging

[Eye of the Potato]

Well yea I'm actually not enthusiastic about the other kinds...

not being mean but yea.




Do you like playing games? I mean not before a relationship but when you're already in one. I love playing games. Like teasing, bluffing, negging

Yeah I do. I like a bit of banter too.

[Suz]

hmmmmm, eye of the potato, well you've certainly given me some good food for thought. could perhaps the difference between me and you be that you might be Ne-sub and i'm Fi-sub? as an Fi-IEE i might be closer to being EII-like...


Are you E2 as well?? Maybe you're E7 or E3 and that's why the differences you outlined in the post about my identifying with E2.


Oh and YES i've been really lonely for the past year and a half, with some brief socially active periods intermittently in there.

[Suz]

I'm not sure if it's my influence on my daughter, or if this is true for EII's in general but she can roll with changes to her schedule and often changes arrangements, much to the annoyance of her LSI father. .

oooh, conflictor huh? I'm sorry you had to go thru that..

[Reuben]

Great. Btw you're a guy right? How do female SLI's behave differently from male ones?

[Eye of the Potato]

hmmmmm, eye of the potato, well you've certainly given me some good food for thought. could perhaps the difference between me and you be that you might be Ne-sub and i'm Fi-sub? as an Fi-IEE i might be closer to being EII-like...


Are you E2 as well?? Maybe you're E7 or E3 and that's why the differences you outlined in the post about my identifying with E2.

That's possible I suppose. I don't know my subtype. I read up on it, but I identified with both and I couldn't choose between the two. Maybe I'll figure it out if I hang out here more often.

Someone told me they thought I was type 6 in the enneagram. The link she gave me made sense, but I just read a different type 6 description, just now, and it doesn't seem like me at all.

The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

The bold bits are me but the rest is the opposite of me, so I can't be a type 6.

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

I wouldn't do things just so I will be needed and I don't have problems with possesiveness. So I don't think I'm a 2 either.

Everything in the IEE descriptions fit me, whenever I read enneagram descriptions, I relate to some bits, but not all of it. That's why I haven't really taken it seriously enough to research it in depth.

[Eye of the Potato]

hmmmmm, eye of the potato, well you've certainly given me some good food for thought. could perhaps the difference between me and you be that you might be Ne-sub and i'm Fi-sub? as an Fi-IEE i might be closer to being EII-like...


Are you E2 as well?? Maybe you're E7 or E3 and that's why the differences you outlined in the post about my identifying with E2.


Oh and YES i've been really lonely for the past year and a half, with some brief socially active periods intermittently in there.

Lonely sucks! It can give you a skewed self image. I just read through the enneagram types and because I have been isolated for a long time I really related to type 4. I think it was the isolation that made me identify with it though. I go through periods of feeling different and lacking in something. I think everyone probably does. I identified with 95% of 5,7 and 9, but mostly 7.

Yeah, conflictor ex. What a fucking nightmare! We get on ok now. I still try to keep conversations to a minimum though. He's been overly nice lately actually, which is kind of strange. I hope he isn't getting any notions of a reunion. Vomit!

[Eye of the Potato]

Great. Btw you're a guy right? How do female SLI's behave differently from male ones?

You talkin to me? I'm a girl. From my experience of talking to sli females, they appear to me to be a little more humble than their male counterparts. And a little more insightful due to said humility.

[Suz]

You talkin to me? I'm a girl. From my experience of talking to sli females, they appear to me to be a little more humble than their male counterparts. And a little more insightful due to said humility.

I've noticed the same thing actually

i suspect it might be more related to Fi-HA, and guys being especially self-conscious about their innermost feelings being ridiculed, compared to girls, for gender-inculcated cultural reasons. So the guys compensate by acting extra macho, etc, to hide their feelings from the harsh outside world.

[Reuben]

You talkin to me? I'm a girl. From my experience of talking to sli females, they appear to me to be a little more humble than their male counterparts. And a little more insightful due to said humility.

Haha I see.

Um, I thought you were a guy because you seem to be more aggressive than the IEE's I know. They seem very shy to me. (edit: physically I mean)

Is this due to your cultural upbringing, Se-running in your family, or are you just one of those shiny jewels you find on the beach one day while looking for seashells

[Reuben]

I've noticed the same thing actually

i suspect it might be more related to Fi-HA, and guys being especially self-conscious about their innermost feelings being ridiculed, compared to girls, for gender-inculcated cultural reasons. So the guys compensate by acting extra macho, etc, to hide their feelings from the harsh outside world.

Strangely I see myself as a very feminine guy. Most girls see the opposite however...

I feel so pompous edifying myself indirectly

[Eye of the Potato]

I've noticed the same thing actually

i suspect it might be more related to Fi-HA, and guys being especially self-conscious about their innermost feelings being ridiculed, compared to girls, for gender-inculcated cultural reasons. So the guys compensate by acting extra macho, etc, to hide their feelings from the harsh outside world.

That's a good point actually.

[Eye of the Potato]

Haha I see.

Um, I thought you were a guy because you seem to be more aggressive than the IEE's I know. They seem very shy to me. (edit: physically I mean)

Is this due to your cultural upbringing, Se-running in your family, or are you just one of those shiny jewels you find on the beach one day while looking for seashells

I'd imagine it would be cultural. Aren't Asian women known for being more submissive?

I don't know why, but I've never looked up to any woman as a role model. My role models, people I looked at and said, I want to be like them some day, were all male. Billy Connelly, Richard Pryor, Jim Morrison, Bob Marley, John Lennon and more recently Russell Brand. Not sure how common that is amoung IEE's.

[Reuben]

mmhmm.

I don't know. Ask the other IEEs.

Maybe you're not one teehee

[Reuben]

No she don't show to the world, only to meeeeeeee

Or maybe she's changed her mind by now

[Wavebury]

Hi WorkaholicsAnon I was wondering if you have any photos available on the forum for VI. At this stage I am thinking that you are definitely XEE (probably IEE as I don't see you as my supervisor) of the Fi kind.

No reason to even consider SEE IMO. Theres no Se in her quadra values from what I can tell. If you're going with that typing might as well be ceratin of IEE.

[Reuben]

^^^^ agrees

[Suz]

Hi WorkaholicsAnon I was wondering if you have any photos available on the forum for VI. At this stage I am thinking that you are definitely XEE (probably IEE as I don't see you as my supervisor) of the Fi kind.

Well i'm glad you finally came to the conclusion that a lot of us have been saying from the outset!

btw you meant business partner, not supervisor, right? I supervise ESI and LII supervises me. I get along well with SEEs actually. Not to say you're SEE necessarily, whether you're Ne vs Se dom will be something you should figure out for yourself. Me i've always leaned delta NF for you, and your husband pretty clearly delta ST imo.

[Hays]

Well i'm glad you finally came to the conclusion that a lot of us have been saying from the outset!

btw you meant business partner, not supervisor, right? I supervise ESI and LII supervises me. I get along well with SEEs actually. Not to say you're SEE necessarily, whether you're Ne vs Se dom will be something you should figure out for yourself. Me i've always leaned delta NF for you, and your husband pretty clearly delta ST imo.

What I was trying to say was that SEE would supervise me as an EII and I don't think you make me feel that way on the forum though I'm not really sure that I would recognize supervision on the forum until it became undeniably masterish-slavish like.

[Suz]

What I was trying to say was that SEE would supervise me as an EII and I don't think you make me feel that way on the forum though I'm not really sure that I would recognize supervision on the forum until it became undeniably masterish-slavish like.

OH my bad! i totally misread your initial post! I thought you said you were thinking xEE for yourself! ugh what is wrong with me... one of those days...

[Beautiful sky]

Supervision isn't sitting there, getting ready to jump at someone's throat. It's a function one is able to do much better than another. Se, for me, is a person who is so driven after objects that they put their rationality and subjective connection to the things they acquire or the sensations they pursue aside, which upsets me, but that they want to do these things for me, frustrates me because I don't want to take part in this constant movement and unplanned, unorganized, in-directive motivation with them; the only kinds of extraversion I want to do is an occasional reading about highly technological books for future related ideas and for someone to organize my work. Se types talk way too much about me, about the things they observe and see, which I don't like either. Here's my SEE friend calling me up on an unplanned day and time and inviting me to go cloth shopping, picking up pooch food, getting our nails done, etc. I can't handle all this extraversion; I'll pass out. I need one or two limited activities with plenty of time in between to digest and relax. I joined her once and half way through our pedicure, she's already on to the next thing she is going to do. The things she's doing never sink in, never relax her, never get in touch with how she feels when she's doing them. She needs to slow down, way a lot.

And, I need to be able to drink already, for goodness sake.

[Suz]

i just saw this. dunno if i'm included in the 'peeps who want to type me xyz" tho lol, but since i had in the past suggested esfj as a possibility in the forum typing thingie then maybe i should just address it. for the record, i don't 'want' to type you as sth or other. it was an impression.

in fact, it went sth like this: you'd selftyped enfp, and it seemed ok at first. then i just wasn't certain about it. which is why i suggested si-ego for you. i don't know your type and really have not had a 'want' or..anything, really, to type you as ese or sth else. atm i'd still say si>ne but can't get more specific, sorry. i think our interactions are not so frequent for me to be certain about it. cheers

felafel, i enjoyed your suggestion of SLI as a type for me That was so heart-warming...

[Reuben]

Why WAWA is not Fe:

1) Appreciative Fi-words e.g. 'Thanks for...' 'I appreciate that...' I enjoyed this...'
2) Prefers PM to public convo
3) Talks about personal issues (hardly listens though )

Why WAWA is not Si:

1) Highly interested in bright shiny prospects (people/ideas/suggestions)... an Si base is more of that bright shiny prospect content in ruminating in its bright shiny self until it gets covered in mud than actually be looking for it.
2) Doesn't know what her kitten is saying when it behaves in a certain way... an Si base always knows what's going on with any animal without having to read up on it. It's instinctive.
3) Is not Si-creative because Fe ego does not make sense, and Te ego will turn her into an Abbie. Which she clearly isn't.