I've seen people who do actually expect that lol. Some people have even openly told me so lool. Then I'm like... how can you be so ridiculous.
Anyway, as for your wonderings here, the issue you discuss here, it's plainly a lack of awareness about themselves. IMO. I think everyone has their own blindspots, you may have infuriated someone else in the exact same way.
The bolded is a great insight there. That's exactly how it always was with me... I can get very assertive and angry just fine, but then I move on and forget. And not realise that it's a major red flag enough. I think though that if I did manage to feel the thing on a deep enough instinctual level, it becomes a true red flag and then I cannot forget so easily. But even then I often do have to make a strict rule on my behaviour to ensure I don't forget about the red flag after a while. My emotional reactions are really in the moment and it's hard for them to go so deep that I still react the same way years later or whatever. It has happened before but yeah it's unusual. And that also means that when it does happen it's a true disaster and trauma and whatnot. But even then I may not recognise the disaster&trauma (see more below).
I'm not sure about how the more detached people i.e. the ILEs handle that part.
Btw none of this means that I just have shallow emotions, I actually have a quite deep part, it's more like it's hard for people to reach it. That is why it's so hard for me to handle it when it actually *is* reached and it does happen very rarely of course. And it's so hard to reach even for myself, I read somewhere that Fi PoLRs typically react to their own trauma only years later, when reacting emotionally to something that somehow brings up the trauma too in the moment. That's really fitting too in a way. I have definitely learnt a lot about how to look at my internals and how to properly internalise and digest stuff better but...
I also think that when I'm not feeling the same bad reaction in the moment later then often I am just detached from it but it's still there somewhere. That's where learning to look at my insides helped some.
Also where I said I have to make the strict behavioural rules. It's like... the 3D Ti&1D Ni or whatever can fail to take into account certain distinctions and then it sometimes turns out that the rule didn't ensure that certain situations will be handled according to the spirit of the rule. I.e. if I decided there was a code red which means I gotta avoid closer distances with that person, I may still engage with the person on certain terms, that's fine, but it happens that I don't think it through enough - tbh by default I barely spend time thinking about things just sitting alone on my own lol - so then it's possible that I don't include some necessary conditions to ensure that the correct distance is always kept. That can bite my ass sometimes ofc.
It's all really fucking complicated
And as for the punch thing, I wouldn't tell them "don't punch me", lol, if they are gonna want to do it, they aren't gonna stop just because you ask, lol. I'm not really sure what your point was there BTW.