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Thread: Instinct stackings in relationships

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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    If "working" or "successful" can mean anything you want them too, then your argument is meaningless.
    It's not meaningless to the people involved, and the people who are defining their own relationships, which is everyone lol. I said that two people can make a relationship work if they work hard and want it to. That's all. The definitions are up to them, and yes, they are meaningful to the people involved. People are not black-and-white, cut-and-dry. One cannot define what another wants out of a relationship, or whether they will be happy in a certain situation, or not.

    I think it means something and it's important to understand because it happens so often that people do want to define what others should be doing or thinking, and they tend to project their own views and ideas onto others' choices. People misunderstand each other so often and think they are right without giving other people a chance or a thought. It's close-mindedness.

    Also- as stated, the idea was not meant to be argued, initially. I simply stated one sentence, that any two people can make a successful relationship with enough hard work, within a paragraph. Then, someone didn't understand what I was saying, so it turned into this big complicated matter, when it's a very simple idea actually. It was never meant to be argued about or overly-defined. What works for two people in a relationship is up to them. I've simply spent my time trying to explain the concept, not necessarily argue about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    If "working" or "successful" can mean anything you want them too, then your argument is meaningless. It's like saying "Everyone will like potatoes if they just try hard enough. . . of course what a person calls a "potato" is different in every case, and could be anything." What's the point of saying anything at all, if what you say means nothing?
    Plus - I simply disagree with your statement here. There's no reason why the argument is meaningless just because the word "successful" or "working" is defined by the two people having the relationship. The description is that it's defined by the people having the relationship, just like the description of a potato includes that it is brown in color. Uhh, definitions, descriptions, and concepts do not "mean nothing". That's mostly the way it is. Reality paints the picture here. I can look at someone else's relationship and think they are crazy for having it, while they are perfectly content. "Working" in this context is in the eye of the beholder. That's life. Relationships are a little more complicated overall and more difficult to define than potatoes lol...... and to compare an inanimate object with a relationship, I'm not really seeing that. Some relationships are constantly changing and improving and are hard to pin-down at any given time. There's nothing meaningless about describing the concept, or making a motivational statement such as "everyone can do it. you can make it work for you through hard work." No, i can't tell you what works for you, because you define that. It's the same thing some counselors will tell you - that you can make a relationship work, but you have to figure out what makes it work through trial-and-error. Relationships change and you have to figure out how to adapt and make the current situation work. Nothing is written in stone or is for everyone. Overall, I think the point here that I've stated half a dozen times is that yes, two people who try hard enough can make a relationship work for them. Very simple stuff. Not really meant to be argued about or overly-defined. Meant to stress initially that although I prefer certain types to others, I think any two people can create a successful relationship. That was the message initially.

    As far as everyone liking potatoes if they try hard enough, it's probably mostly true. I've seen willful people train themselves to enjoy green veggies when they hated them before. People can produce amazing results when they have reasons to, like true love or health. It just depends on how much they care to.

    Also, in your example, you claim, "what a person calls a potato could be anything", but a relationship cannot be anything. It's still a relationship. So in this case, I would say take out the "and could be anything." There, you are left with "Everyone will like potatoes if they try hard enough.... of course what a person calls a potato is different in every case," in which there can be the following argument: What a person calls a potato can be different in every case, if you look at them through a microscope, for instance. They are individual and unique. So, the statement is actually true from that perspective. I wouldn't say that describing the situation with the potato was a whole lot of nothing anymore than describing anything else is.... of course, that is also dependent on the reader's opinion. If one isn't interested in the subject, don't read it.
    Last edited by jet city woman; 03-31-2012 at 11:47 PM.

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