In a word, what is it? What does beta Ni want? How does beta Ni try to improve itself? What are you trying to become that you can better fulfill your social duties?
In a word, what is it? What does beta Ni want? How does beta Ni try to improve itself? What are you trying to become that you can better fulfill your social duties?
I want to make love for about 4 hours a day with somebody. The other 2 or 3, I want to spend time my friends and fag hags. <3
And then I want to spend the rest of the day BEING LEFT ALONE so I can write stories and play video games and think to myself and recharge my introverted batteries.
^
I think I want to preserve a natural lifestyle & society in the modern world. The modern world is dehumanizing, it creates conflict and pain. It's a big machine which I enjoy throwing wrenches into. My aim is some minor liberation from the downward spiral of civilization. I refuse to compromise who I am for the modern world, so I end up behaving rebelliously. My name really describes me well. I feel like a caged animal, and I look at others the same way. I want people to express who they are without hesitation, to be unhindered; to be honest and to pursue their desires.
.....PLEASE help me......I really don't like doing this but I need help. It hurts so much, when you realize the one thing that stopped you from being happy is your ability to be such an incredible dumbass. Like...im just so...help me please. Long story short, me being as stupid as I am, I messed up on two separate occasions with two different girls who I think are INFp. I wouldn't even say I messed up, its worse than that. I didn't have the guts to really approach them out of fear of whatever and now I just can't stop thinking about them. Whats even worse is I probably will never see either one of them in my life again, all I can think about is how I messed up and how somebody else is taking them for themselves. I don't know if its just lust but I can't describe my feelings, there was something about them that just made me want to...
Since I don't feel like going there, what the fuck do you WANT?! What do you want me to do???
I feel like an asshole writing all of this, just know that in real life I would -NEVER- reveal something like this...its the internet.
@Agee
You don't need an IEI. You need to stand up on your own two feet, start developing interests, getting good at it, and then socializing with people who are good at it so that you get even better at it.
Don't think another person can fix your problems, because you'll just be disappointed. Create value for yourself, then you can create value for people, then the world becomes a better place.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
Also not cool with any girls. Or any people.
Sorry you're sad agee. Just find another girl that's IEI (assuming the previous two were) and don't fuck up that relationship? But it's not like I know you/what went wrong/why you consider it your fault/anything about you.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
And this is exactly what people used to tell me.
And guys she's saying she wants the Fe, the overt demonstration of empathy and concern. She doesn't really want just any IEIs, probably... only those who have F EM.
I'll bet she crushed on Michael Jackson.
Now about what IEIs want... I think I've figured it. They want what beta Ni wants, and that is inclusion, which is important for the capacity to manipulate, interfere, and steer. As such they want UNLIMITED inclusion, and this is what SLE does for them by threat of aggression. "You have a right to be here", they dream of their spouse telling them, "and if anyone says anything about it, they will answer to me." Just imagine Donald Trump sitting down with a young IEI lass who is calmly detailing the hostility she has faced from other members of her group... it's not difficult. IEIs want guaranteed inclusion, so that they can engage in their subterfuge unmolested. A lot of them like to go too far with others' passions for them -- the Si EM valuing ones in particular think it great fun -- and when those they have toyed with start looking for escape (without leaving the confines of the group) it is an SLE whom they will look to to push out their victim. And if an SLE is not available, they will try to create the image of one in their lover, whose affection they have engaged in the romance games to cultivate.
Last edited by tcaudilllg; 09-01-2011 at 03:39 PM.
People tell you that because they have a point. You have to be okay with yourself before you can be okay with other people.
It's as simple as: if you cannot deal well with yourself, respect yourself and treat yourself properly, not throwing vicious accusations and bitter recriminations around at the slightest mistake, have learned when and how to cut yourself some slack, when and how to get tough with yourself, then you can't uphold your half of a relationship as well as you could. And that's a shame.
The point is to reasonably take responsability for the part(s) of life you can affect. You can't affect the departure time of 14:33 flight to Jamaica? Then you don't bother, and work around it by taking the right bus to the airport. You can affect your half of a relationship with someone you love? Then you make sure it's the best damn half you can come up with.
In other words, paradoxical as it sounds, put yourself first for the time being. Build up your own life (inner and outer). Make friends, work for your goals (hobbies, work?), be okay with and in your skin. Change what you really can't do with, adapt to the unchangeable as needed. Look at what cards you've been given, honestly, without bias or handwaving like "It's all shit" or "Well aren't *I* one perfect handsome cad", decide what you want to do with them, realistically, and see the work needed to make "want" and "can" fit together.
Reason is a whore.
@Agee: I'm sorry to hear you're sad. Sounds like you're in a bad place.
About the therapy comment, put it this way. Therapy, or looking to others for help (within reason), is a way to make the best of what you have faster. It's a shortcut, not something pathetic or to be ashamed of. Think of it as a lantern to help you navigate a dark path, instead of banging your shins and toes on every fridge corner.
If you need help, you get help and you use it well. That's it. Feeling bad about how you shouldn't need help goddamnit a)just makes you feel worse, which makes the problem worse and which you don't deserve b)is too harsh on yourself, you're human no?
Work with what you have, not what you wish you had.
Reason is a whore.
[quote=tcaudilllg;805330]Damn. You hatin'.
Also that's totally wrong. I mean, sure, like, on a sort of boring "if I'm scheming to get something material" level, yeah, that's super helpful, as far as SLEs handling the part I'm bad at.
But on like a real level, on a fundamental level, on a life level, obviously what I want isn't inclusion. I thought you were going to go in another direction, like IEIs want to include everything into their thought, which might be slightly more accurate but still not right. But no, what I want ultimately for my life isn't inclusion, it's Life, Spirit, and Truth. The essence of energy or whatever. I want the sensation of mental, physical, and spiritual activity.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
Be that as it may, I'm not sure IEIs in general want "activity".
Now reflection... THAT sounds a little more IEI-like.
No menage a trois. Im in college, on two different occasions, two different classes, two different girls. I messed up as in, I guess I didn't have the courage to talk to them fast enough or at all. Its not like I was scared, it was like they were calling out to me, waiting but I just didn't want to go because I was uncertain. I suppose if they were male, I would feel the same way, just not as intense. The first one, much later on in class I just decided to say something, it was one of those stupid rude jokes I do and she was walking away and smiled. I was too happy, but I think she tried to get my attention after that and I just acted like I didn't care, the same happened with the other girl. I act like they're not there because I don't know what to do and I don't want to fuck up. How I made the same mistake twice in a row baffles me.
if you like an IEI, keep talking to them until they are comfortable, and make sure they know that you will protect them and they will be kept safe.
As crazedrat and myself point out, we don't like conflict (isfp lookalike) or somebody acting like 'they are all that', that is more of what an ESTj would do. I AM A NARCISSISTIC JEWISH DIRECTOR WITH A MEGAPHONE!!! IEIs just retreat from that shit. We are humanitarians, like INFjs are, and like to feel we are with somebody together.
Do not be too intellectual with us either. We hate that shit, because we are sooo fucking smart ourselves, and we won't fall for intellectual mindgames or somebody preaching us shit that we already know. Basically just exude physical and stable self-confidence. We are looking for one special thing to hold on to (romantic, Se dual-seeking), not for somebody to 'Push us.'
And we love to argue too honestly, as we know that every platitude somebody says depends on their physical environment. So while it's often true that you can only help yourself in life, that actually isn't true all the time. It depends on the circumstance. It in essence, depends on the Se.
@Agee
Do you really need someone to love or are you projecting the need to love yourself on someone else?
Agee, you are clearly too mean to yourself. It is difficult to get good chicks with this kind of mindset and attitude. Firstly, if you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love another person? It's like you're loving on credit; you don't even have enough love in your bank to give it out. Eventually the need to repay the love loans you keep taking out from yourself will need to be paid up, and you'll demand it from whatever chick you're with. They'll be freaked out by your neediness and leave you. Hence, don't love others if you don't have the love for yourself to actually support it.
Secondly, you DON'T NEED IEIs. I'm going to be very harsh with this kind of attitude. GIVE UP SOCIONICS NOW YOU ARE TOO IMMATURE TO HANDLE IT. The moment you believe that there is only 1 type you need, you're overly obsessed with socionics. Interact with every type. Get to know every type. Furthermore, you probably aren't the type you think you are due to the current mental and emotional situation you are in now.
Thirdly, if you really want to love someone, IEI or not, seriously think about gaining material. Pick up skills, learn a trade, make money, be successful. IEIs come at VERY high price. Go ask Starfall, Glamo or whoever else. They don't come easy AT ALL. Love is not free. You need money to get good clothes to look good. You need money to book a fine restaurant. You need money to purchase a good car. Then enough money to take her shopping. And then maybe to rent a place after that ^^ Finally, all that should be less than 2% of your monthly cashflow so that you can spend the rest on things that really matter i.e. you(r future). Once you get into a relationship, you may increase that amount to up to 5% since you'll be seeing her more often.
Fourthly, I was in your position 2 years ago. I understand where you're coming from, and chances are, I was more pathetic then than you are now or will ever be. So don't pity yourself, and don't hate yourself either. Work on a goal, even if it's to get an IEI chick. Work on it. Make it a long term project. Oh, and there are more than 2 IEI chicks in the world. I'm sure you know that by now.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
Just follow your instincts... INFps will give you resistance but it is a facade. Do not fall for it. Plow right through their resistance and act on instinct, if you dont know what to say then just say exactly what's on your mind.. you will succeed I guarantee it.
Oh...so in other words just be myself. I can do that. That's what I needed to hear, I feel so much better now. Thank you guys :]
Reuben, I agree...in fact everything you said comes natural to me, I don't have to think about it, but now I realized that a big part of all my problems was my inability to accept that I really do need help and support. I never gave notice to socionics before but im glad I did now; after stumbling upon the concept of duals and IEI and witnessing first hand what its like to communicate with them I know im on the right track.
Last edited by Leader; 09-02-2011 at 02:22 AM.
Bacon weaves.
mmm... sounds so goodI am happy, ecstatic in fact, to let you indulge in bacon weaves. I shall retreat to my own luxuries in the meantime, such as manga, mussels, sundried tomatoes and chocolate-brownie ice-cream.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
IEIs, do you see yourselves
as warriors?
lol I remember there was a thread on russian socionics forums somewhere titled "IEI - the independent combat unit"
I see life as a fight. I see some people as enemies, but most people as friends. I would encourage people to stay off of the enemies list though.
I don't consider myself a warrior unless I have to be. I do however consider life to be a struggle. I consider myself to be somewhat of a spiritual warrior, war displaced into the realm of the soul and the psyche and even the spirit. I wholeheartedly subscribe to Wallace Stevens on this: "Solider, there is a war between the mind/and sky, between thought and day and night." Life and poetry are fights for the truth on a spiritual/psychic plane. It's work to keep your sanity and grow your mind and perception. It's work to avoid lying to yourself or to others. It's a fight.
But I'm quicker to view others as potential allies than potential enemies.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
@silverchris
That's a good way to see it. But I challenge you to move it one more step: to never see people as enemies, but the ideas subduing them as being so. Then attack these ideas to the death, and you would have saved an allies' soul.
Feel free to replace 'ideas' with 'attitude', 'emotions', 'mindset', 'mentality'.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
I suppose taking action is as much a valid, and shaped, response to emotion as any. Maybe even the only real response. Actions can be variable or invariable with respect to a situation. When we assert that a person has variable response capacity, we call that choice. When the response is invariant, we call that a preference or trait, an expression of nature.
So, beta Ni is action then.