Bumping an old thread 'cause I got new data.

- Considers himself a shy person, particularly with women. When I asked why he wasn't afraid to talk to me he said, "I already know you." He says he's worked to overcome the shyness. He does seem to be relatively quiet, not a show off, particularly with people he doesn't know.
- One time at a social/professional after-hours event, he talked for a couple of minutes with a man he only slightly knew, and when he finished he said to me, "There, I've done my good deed of the day. He was polite; I was polite." ... Apparently small-talk with people he doesn't know or like is a tedious trial.

- Clear but gentle in expressing interest toward people he's attracted to; persistent but doesn't just barrel through boundaries. Comfort of the other person seems paramount.

- Cognizant of how other people are feeling, particularly physically
- Knows how to make people feel better, or feel different (good) things. This can be directly physical, but also indirectly. For example, he figured out that people crowding me makes me uncomfortable (sensory overload, though I'm not sure if he's figured that part out - I'm not sure that occurs to him...). So when there's a crowd he's started "making me a bubble" using his own body as a shield, plus sort of using body cues to move me out of someone's way or into a more open spot.
- Appears to naturally think that physically feeling better will lead to emotionally feeling better.

- Is a good chef, but hasn't ever used a recipe; cooks "by ear" (or by taste? dunno what to call it).

- Likes dancing

- Recognizes male-female roles and doesn't seem to have a problem with it, although he's always been respectful of both genders as a whole as far as I can tell. I've never felt less than an equal with him.

- Is attracted to femininity - long hair, for example.

- In many ways appears to me to think similarly to my ESE friend, particularly in the doing aspects of things, like practicality
- He and the ESE almost immediately started joking together at my expense. Apparently I'm amusing. I got teased about lack of practicality, inability to care for myself, weird ways I might try to handle things, things that could physically happen to me, my various reactions to things... They both think my "confused face" is fun/cute.
- I feel really... incompetent around him and the ESE. I'm not sure what it is, but I found myself feeling extra superfluous, and even mildly in the way. I felt like every idea I had got initial interest, but then ended up getting shot down as ridiculously impractical. So I would often just try to stay out the way and look at interesting things by myself, like taking pictures of lettuce.
- Then again, I feel like without me interjecting ideas and time-related thoughts the two of them may have stagnated. I'm starting to think I should just focus my suggestions on pure ideas or goals and then leave the implementation to them. I guess I'm just used to figuring out ways to get where/what I want done, even if the path there isn't the most efficient or cost-effective. And now I have these two who feed off of each other's senses of how to best accomplish things, multiplying any efficiency they would have had on their own, which makes me feel silly about what I usually try on my own.

- Apparently our local Saturday market was too "alternative" for him... Sure, there's usually a bunch of normal to weird-quirky people running around, but in my opinion it's pretty tame. It's mostly just cute stuff, like kilted unicyclists playing accordions every so often, at worst. Also, at one point we walked by a place that seemed to attract gothy hipsterish-looking people, and that was "very alternative." He's from Europe (and my impression is that Europeans tend to be more open about a lot of behavior), but it still was too weird for him I guess. I can't help but wonder if me, a sheltered prudish American, is more open to different people than him, a sophisticated experienced European.

- Does not drink to get drunk but to "enjoy it." He hasn't been really drunk in a long time, and I get the impression he doesn't want to. He doesn't like smoking at all, or being around smokers, though he's usually externally polite about it and only privately will make faces over it. He told me about the only time he actually didn't mind smoke was in Cuba, where some men had a certain type that he actually enjoyed because it smelled good to him.

- I totally trust him with regard to choosing drinks for me. I'm not a drinker, either, and he has a skill with selecting a drink that fits both the occasion and whatever I happen to be needing at the time.

- Is essentially a secular humanist, but has openness to "spirituality." It seems he associates spirituality with certain feelings; he doesn't seem adept at understanding or conversing in these things, but he says he's trying to be open, especially recently.

- Laughs at people a bit behind their backs, or comments on them. Usually not too cruelly, but more than I do, for sure. I found myself defending them occasionally. Things that seem to snag his attention are silly things they say, being overweight/out-of-shape, other aesthetic failings e.g. being smelly (the smelly people really got to him for some reason...). He also found large cars and gangster talk hilarious, but that is probably just cultural.

- Likes making rockets, has a HAM radio, and thinks Star Trek is great. (He and the ESE had fun doing the Vulcan hand thing together.)



I'm thinking caregiver, but can't decide on Alpha or Delta. Or rational/irrational, for that matter.