I'll disagree with you here that it's the N/S functions that have anything to do with assertiveness/pushiness. Correlating T-F and N-S scales with Big 5 model model it is the T-F scale that has moderate correlation to Agreeableness while N-S shows practically no correlation where Agreeableness is defined as "a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others". People who score low on this measure are more likely to get into confrontations with others. So if anything the ESTj in your example is more confrontational than the INFp because ESTj is leading with T while for INFp F takes priority over T. Extending this over to our own Beta quadra SLEs are not aggressive because they are Se but because they are Se-Ti.
I've known some types who did not value Si and had 'weak' Se yet who would concern with resource management and allocation (ex: making sure there is enough food for the party) and would have this sort of practical vibe to them. This could point towards him being sp/x or x/sp with instinctual stackings.



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