You've actually made me more confident in my typing of my younger brother as an SEE and his wife as an IEI with this. His eyes really do take on that quality when he gets earnest in a conversation. Likewise, among other things, that same look really gets her going, but while it sucks her in it subtly isn't the "entirety" of what she wants. It's "close enough" as it were but he's an SEE not an SLE. Might have a relationship with her being a psychology major, her being a social worker, and the fact that she (like most everyone else in the modern world) has unresolved attachment issues.
I've fed him my research material in regard to attachment issues and he has but only recently started to consume them. It has already produced the positive results that I hoped for. The next hurdle is getting his IEI wife through it as she has the issues rather badly and her major predisposes her towards labeling me a charlatan. My brother is lucky insofar as his are largely resolved and I was lucky that was the case in turn. My initial attempts to "open up" were with him and he responded in a way unique to an SEE. He was/is a "lavish emperor" simply gifting a caravan of riches upon his most treasured and loyal vizier. I nutted up and told him I wanted more of his attentions and he immediately gave them to me without a second thought.
I did notice one potentially troubling thing here. Third child you say? If I was a woman I'd be proud of that but if this isn't in the context of a monogamous and happy marriage, well, I'm really screwing this shit up. The kids need a daddy. A really kind, warm, energetic and wonderful daddy. Y'know, a healthy

in the ego block kind of daddy. I've mentioned Attachment issues elsewhere and if you have them you need fix them else you and your children will never find the deep and abiding happiness we all seek.
You're a girl/mother so I'm pretty sure you get this on a very deep level. Even if you are literally a perfect mother (and as us ILI's are won't to do I'm assuming the worst possible circumstances/possibilities)... you're still but one half of a fully functional family unit. Same goes if we inverse the genders. A
perfect father is still but one half of an ultimately broken family. Way,
way better than a fully destroyed/broken family, but still not anywhere close to the ideal. Heh, pretty sure this whole rant is pretty exemplary of Gamma logic...