Human Condition

[Creepy-male]

Meh I meant more the philosophy of it, does empathy lead to prosperity or does sociopathy lead to prosperity.

I think its a pretty typical question, a lot of times I realize how much easier it would make my life if I could just allow myself not to give a shit about other people's feelings.

It hurts to be fucked with by another person, but largely you can learn to defend yourself against these attacks and fire back. What really sucks is when you get attacked by someone you are trying to help.

The best way I can describe this is like when men who are brought up with the whole "don't hit women" begin to get assualted by some girl slapping them and throwing punches, while they obviously have the physical power to dominate them in a fight, they just sit there all awkward because they don't know whether to fight back or just take it.

Meh that's partly my problem, I don't approach first encounters with people as an aggressor, I approach from the viewpoint of "let's be friends", but then I always get pissed off when people take this as weakness and pounce on me... cause I look at it and I think, if I was trying to fight you, I could have won or at least performed a little bit better, but I wasn't and now you've won cause your exploiting my extension of goodwill.

Then I'll get really pissed off at this abuse and go around with my guard up and approach reality from the viewpoint of "don't fuck with me!", but then I always get pissed off because people pick up on that energy and are all intimidated and offended by my presence... their whole attitude is "you have a reason for not wanting to be fucked with, your trying to hide from the fucking you deserve" or its this paranoid "omg he is going to fuck me, I must fuck him before he fucks me!". It's rather dumb, and eventually it either annoys me more and more till I feel like I am going to kill some people, then I realize it all started out because of some stupid a-hole trying to exploit me and I don't want to become worse off because of them.... so then it loops back around

let's be friends...... etc etc etc

back and forth, back and forth..... and its really confusing to me.

It seems to oscillate so much that I can't tell whether or not which one is better.... is it better to just fold your hand and fuck everyone before they can fuck you.... take what you want and before you loose kill yourself and leave the world with a one up?

Or is it better to hold onto this illusion of compassion, forgive those who exploit you, continue to love, and trust that in the end love will win.

At a philosophical level the same constant motion back and forth goes round and round. I'd clearly like to side with compassion in the end, but I'd like to see a return on my investment, rather than feel like I'm the poor sucker getting hook line and sinker by the snake oil salesman. But I'm not in any fear of being a sociopath, because without some meaningful connection to other people through the emotions, life to me seems not worth living, if love did not win in the end, reality would seem too much of a bad joke for me to want to exist in it, either that helps me out... or I'm an idiot with my money down on the wrong hand, but does it really matter if winning means not being able to experience an emotional connection, is that really a victory? I personally wouldn't think so, I think sociopaths that lack empathy don't have any conception of emotional connection, so they don't know what they are missing. Maybe in a way they are victims too of their lack of feeling as much as they are the aggressors to people with the feelings?