IEIs and poor social skills: can INFps be socially awkward/challenged?

[Aylen]

My social skills were taught to me at an early age by various adults in my life so I know how to act in most situations. I don't think I come off socially awkward but I have anxiety around new people and it only tends to fade once I make some kind of personal connection that breaks the ice. Like Fay I am also kind of hyper aware of the energy around me which will set the tone for how I behave. Sometimes I am really shy when forced into a new situation and I wait for someone to include me. I am bad at speaking up first and I really panic when I am put in a position where I have to talk about myself around people I don't know. Like when I was taking classes.

Even if I have to interact with a group for extended periods of time, I tend to keep my distance from most people in situations I am forced into. It is strange to me how close these people get in a short period and start adding each other on fb or hanging out one on one. IRL many people give me contact information so we can stay in touch but I don't want to form any close bonds since I know once I get through whatever brought us together that I probably will not keep contact.

Edit: Around people I know well, I am kind of the center of attention and feel fine with it. They are good about letting me slip out of the room when I have had enough.

[Pole]

I see IEIs as having better social skills that me, as an LSI. I come off as high functioning autistic. My Fe roomate tries to help me smooth out my rough edges, as far as dealing with the landlord because I say what I'm thinking with no concern how I come off. I open my mouth thinking I'm going to straighten out matters but people think I'm biting their heads off.... but they crossed my boundaries! My roommate has a way of explaining things to me without setting off alarms in my head like when people talk down on me and make me feel stupid and incompetent. So, I say Fe ego types have more social grace than I do, even SLEs have more grace than me.

[Singu]

Obviously any type can be socially awkward... but it's interesting that IEIs have such strong Fe but can still be awkward. Extraverted T types have difficulty understanding social situations, but they "fake it until they make it". SEIs can also be somewhat awkward, not not as much as IEIs.

I know all and everything about social norms and rules and what is appropriate and how to respond appropriately and what the others are feeling and such. Yet I still don't know how to "get out of myself". I guess it's the Ni.

[New Chapter]

Before puberty, I was pretty introverted and had a "Me Against The World” attitude.
During adolescence I wanted to be social and empathetic – unfortunately I was pretty bad in this plus annoying. So that I learned to be shy and silent. I assume that my Fi developed very well at that time because of the social adoptions.
In fact, I couldn't understand that my classmates weren't that tolerant and devoted as me. For me, these were self-evident values.

Nevertheless, I was really interested in understanding other people and society and tried to learn the patterns of what is social appropriate.
That means I tried through trial and error how people perceived my jokes or opinions. This method works for me, I would say that I’m more socially skilled than the average and I’m quite sure that I’ll be really good in the next few years.

But I’ve to admit that a lot have changed. Especially, the people who surround me – they kinda have grown up either – most of my peers are quite tolerant. But I believe this resulted because of the “P.C. era” rather than through independent self-improvement.

[Stellafera]

"With strangers INFps behave gallantly and tactfully, showing good manners and education. However among friends and family they can be very up front sometimes behaving frivolously. They enjoy baiting others in a playful manner in order to create an easy and tension-free atmosphere. At home INFps can be very frivolous and capricious, showing great stubbornness in getting what they want, sometimes creating dramas and scenes. These emotional outbursts are usually short and disappear without consequences. Generally they have very flexible emotions which they control consciously."

This holds 100% true for me.

Likewise. There tends to be a stark difference in my behavior when I'm interacting with them in some sort of otherwise public context and when I first hang out with them alone. I'm wayyyy goofier and like to play around with my behavior for the sake of a joke. I especially enjoy removing the filter on my inner idiot (I'm talking "how can we see ourselves in a mirror when we don't have eyes" kinds of dumb) for this purpose. I think with strangers or groups I get nervous because my sense of humor might not go over well, whereas when I'm hanging out with someone solo, I only have to appeal to one person's sensibilities and that gives me a lot more leverage.