Yeah, that scrappy do reference wen't right over my head.
Yeah, that scrappy do reference wen't right over my head.
Easy Day
The IEI's I know are really recluse, one is really good friend of mine, (sometimes I think I am her only friend). They however, seem to enjoy solitude in a healthy way, my friend is always chipper when I talk to her, have never really seen her depressed or lonely.
Starfall brings up good points. I find it helps to just clear your mind blank, and dive into the situation.
I mean I'm not all that different from what you said in another post:Originally Posted by JWC3
At least, I used to be like that.Truthfully it's really terrible what I'll do to people if left to my own devices. Thankfully i have a very strong friend group who holds me back and keeps me from becoming an evil power mongering destructive force that no one likes.
I'll keep the IEI self-typing for now though.
Only when they're dead. You've got nothing to worry about.
Gotcha, thanks for clearing that up
lol don't change your type on account of me. In fact if it's easier you should just retype me as IEI, it's only happened once but I'm always so flattered when some one types me as IEI.
Easy Day
nah, at the end of the day, it'd be best if i stuck with this. if i'm honest with myself, i only draw on Se in superficial ways... if anything. where i actually need a hand is Se. SLEs are people of action in all of the wider and practical senses of the word. i'm not the type described, for example, here. life would be so much different if i was..
Not saying your SLE but that is a pretty bad description. Way to much fancy language and too many absolutes. It's also almost completely detached from reality, for example I'm SLE and guess what I did yesterday? Sat on my ass and watched TV. Where's the part that says "Zhukov occasionally enjoys sitting on his ass and watching television"?
Don't get me wrong, I am driven and goal oriented and all that nonsense but I'm not a machine like that description purports, and I'm sure as hell not a general of any army.
Easy Day
Point taken.
I sit on my ass quite a bit though.. not to drag all Ixxp types down with me, but it does seem to be part of my temperment. If there's anything to take from that writeup above, despite the exagerrations, it's the SLE's level of consistency in action, relatively speaking. Even if you want to sit on your ass sometimes.
I guess to tie this all in to hitta's original question, I am, in fact, socially challenged too. I'm afraid to admit that I'm a little dependent on others for moving forward/being busy/having fun in new experiences. Once I'm "there" (whereever that may be), it might very well turn into an adventure or crazy excursion (and finding myself responsible for creating some of it), but I'm at a loss on my own. And I don't really have any clear goals btw..
That sounds about right iei wise.
For what it's worth though I do know a self typed sle that is an absolute wall flower at parties. The outgoing part of extroversion varries widly depending on mood and from person to person when it comes to sles. However I have never met an sle that is completely lacking direction.
Edit: Wasn't using extroversion in the socionics sense. For clarity.
Easy Day
all of this is true, ime, esp. the bold. Ti subs can especially be more observant and appear possibly introverted.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I think the best way to differentiate between SLEs and IEIs (in the area of activity levels/ass-sitting) is the locus of motivation/movement. IEIs are inertial and require either some force to "push" them in any given direction or desire for some object to "pull" them. Luckily, we are good at manipulating our own perceptions to create mental objects to pull us, and convince ourselves of things we want to avoid which "push" us.
It works differently for SLEs, as far as I can tell. They don't rely as much on the pull/push thing; they act more out of will. An IEI will sit on the couch all day for lack of willpower to move (and no clear "reason" to move). An SLE will sit on the couch all day because s/he wants to. I don't think SLEs have as much of the "Oh, I meant to do 50 kajillion things today, but instead I just sat immobile" syndrome. Less of the "I just couldn't convince myself to move" thing, unless they're really tired. IEIs are immobile for lack of something to move us; SLEs are immobile by choice (or at least more choice).
That's how I see it. Maybe I'm wrong, though?
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
Yes they can. I challenge you to a duel.Can IEI's be socially awkward/challenged?
I think you're right. I don't know why I even consider SLE... Today actually offered an eye-opening reminder about all of this when chatting with an SLE (at least I think they are..). We each have our strengths, but they do have more self-propelled willpower, like you said. And better yet, they don't hold their distance in giving advice (Fi). And they don't overtly speak with Te.. it's always more fun somehow. Whatever productivity might emerge from it, it's usually more indirect.
Contrast with this an ESI who kind of tried to kick my ass a bit.. She meant well, but I'm still a little fucked up by her moral angle. "If you don't register for school today, I won't talk to you again." Holy shit, she wasn't bluffing! I haven't talked to her in six months.
That's all off-topic though.. I guess. Maybe I could say even stuff like this (Fi-Te) makes me socially awkward..
First lesson in not being thought an idiot while on this forum. Never try to communicate in IM elements. No one, and I do mean no one, will agree with your interpretation of their manifestation in the real world. Trying to clarify and explain your interpretation of them is different (and probably what this forum was originally intended for), but don't confuse that with "Kim did so many Fi things today and I just needed some space cause... like stifling, amirite?"I think you're right. I don't know why I even consider SLE... Today actually offered an eye-opening reminder about all of this when chatting with an SLE (at least I think they are..). We each have our strengths, but they do have more self-propelled willpower, like you said. And better yet, they don't hold their distance in giving advice (Fi). And they don't overtly speak with Te.. it's always more fun somehow. Whatever productivity might emerge from it, it's usually more indirect.
Contrast with this an ESI who kind of tried to kick my ass a bit.. She meant well, but I'm still a little fucked up by her moral angle. "If you don't register for school today, I won't talk to you again." Holy shit, she wasn't bluffing! I haven't talked to her in six months.
That's all off-topic though.. I guess. Maybe I could say even stuff like this (Fi-Te) makes me socially awkward..
Admittedly that's an exaggeration, for clarity's sake, but for future reference saying someone speaks with Te isn't a short cut to being understood. It's the opposite. Instead just take the time to explain (without using socionics terms that will cause pages and pages of disagreement while your story/point gets ignored) exactly what you mean.
Easy Day
Actually, the first lesson in not being thought an idiot is just staying away from the forum entirely. This goes for everyone btw.
Of course, we're not going to follow that rule (sadly), so whatever.
How'd you know her name was Kim anyways? Who are you?
LOL! Amen. This place is like a car wreck. It's nasty, there's puke and blood everywhere some guy's arm is laying on the ground and it looks like the baby just got aborted, but you just can't help gawking.
Well... I'm awesome.How'd you know her name was Kim anyways? Who are you?
http://youtu.be/OYws8biwOYc
Easy Day
I feel like I've almost got your point. Can you try explaining as if I was a very small child, possibly five years old? Maybe younger, but not much, and certainly no older.
Easy Day
In any case, my bad for being vague and speaking in that IM-element "shorthand". I guess I've gotten use to mentioning the same sort of gripes with other Betas, and they knew what what I was talking about right away.
It's not as simple as saying "Kim did so many Fi things", or that I needed space (in fact, I'm Fe.. I'd prefer inclusion, not distance).
What I'm trying to say in my example above is that I got doorslammed for not being productive enough. Simple as that. I will try to avoid mentioning too much IM element jargon, and just say that SLEs don't respond to "Te Polr" in such condemning ways. She'd push and threaten with moral ultimatums. And if you fuck up, it's not a judgement just on "Te Polr". She turned that into an entire assessment on my character.. And it isn't an isolated case. Like some fluke of Fi dominants. Both are known for shutting people out like that, instead of working it out or bringing the issue out for discussion, like Alpha/Betas tend to do.
Here's the funny thing. She wasn't my girlfriend. lol. Just a friend. You might be able to give someone the benefit of the doubt for treating their "scrub Te polr" boyfriend this treatment, but this is not how it was. She was just someone who tried to play some part of the "motivator"/lifecoach, and instead of understanding me, just pushed.. and finally condemned me (I sound like I'm whining now.. don't mean to).
Anyways, this qualifies as a derail.. I'll probably not address it further.
Honey, you can't derail a dead thread. I'm honestly surprised so many people found so many ways to say "Yup, next question".
Easy Day
I'm assuming you're being sarcastic, but I didn't think it was that overexplained...?
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
Nope, not sarcasm. I admittedly got a little carried away with the child bit though :/I'm assuming you're being sarcastic, but I didn't think it was that overexplained...?
Easy Day
IEIs: Had many plans and/or things to do that day. Lacked the motivation and channel-surfed instead. At the end of the day is annoyed/disappointed by its own lack of activity, but finds it hard to change that. Feels like having a sandwich, channel-surfs for another hourI feel like I've almost got your point. Can you try explaining as if I was a very small child, possibly five years old? Maybe younger, but not much, and certainly no older., manages to get off the couch, sits back down, decides toilet is more pressing. Starts daydreaming. Goes to the toilet after another half-hour. Etc.
SLEs: Felt like channel-surfing and channel-surfed. Felt like a sandwich so got up, went to the kitchen and ate a sandwich.
Or, in basic chemistry terms: The initial energy needed to start off the "movement" reaction is much higher in IEIs than in SLEs. Often a catalyst is required for anything to actually happen.
Reason is a whore.
How does one tell between a "socially challenged" IEI(EIE) and someone who isn't an "ethical" F-type?
I tend to be highly awkward and overly blunt especially if I am unhappy, stressed, feeling nervous, etc. When I am happy and calm (which is not super often) most of it goes away. I find it to also be bad when I drink too much caffeine or don't get enough sleep. Being jumpy contributes to it. I find extroverted sensing types to be the least awkward.
One of the nice things about being an adult, you don't need to explain yourself to people. : )
And when those people will beat you, there will be no need to ask them why.
Do people often beat each other because they are socially awkward where you live?
I'm pretty sure I fit all the criteria for inverted narcissism, so the answer would be yes. In real-time interactions that require intimacy (not just superficial 'performance' like a celebrity gala, more like a brunch among friends) it's difficult not to freeze up for fear of embarrassment.
"All men must die; but we are not men." - Khaleesi
I probably do or say things awkwardly but i let go of telling myself how awkward i was a long time ago. I find that the more you tell yourself you're awkward the more awkward you will be.
They are not the most confident. I don't if would call that absolute social awkwardness (well I certainly am). One IEI male used some ways to appear more like a male. It was quite clear.Pretty damn weird actually. One shared a flat with me for few months (we managed to get like three clean up notices during that period) when I studied. Odd concentration of different kinds of weirdness. He appeared quite challenged at first but it was just the first impression.
The concept of social skills is actually pretty open to personal interpretation.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
I'll just leave this here.
Hahaha jesus. The thing is that this kind of behavior is more accepted in the media when men do it; can you imagine how everybody would crucify a girl if she was this awkward?? They crucified Kristen Stewart and she wasn't nearly as bad as him.
I don't think that's true at all. They basically did crucify him for it, he got kicked out. There are other men whose careers have been destroyed by things they said -- Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, etc. This seems to be much rarer for women.
From my observations, INFps often develop interests that they feel would not be interesting to the group so they'll keep quiet about it. Instead, they'll attempt to adopt attitudes and opinions that they know would fit into their social groups' interests. However, the younger an INFp is, the more awkward this pretense feels so many will choose to limit conversation drastically or step away from the group completely so as not to be caught out. Early in their life, many seem to develop insecurities over their own self-image so they will attempt to transform themselves but have self-doubt while doing it; this can make them appear somewhat wooden at times. This self-doubt usually diminishes as they mature and develop confidence in themselves but some never lose it; I've seen it disappear completely when they find themselves in accepting or equally eclectic social circles. I think the behaviour stems from their innate ability to vividly see the complexities and potential consequences of social interactions, which can overwhelm them when they do not have the experience or tools to fully rationalize it......
i feel you. my ex constantly "teased" me about my social naivete which was fine at first but it got old quick. i'd respond with self-deprecatory humor to make light of it and to extinguish any impending conflict on the matter because if i ever tried to justify my hurt over his "jokes" he'd sniff out a loophole in my argument and dismantle it in an instant. the self-deprecation was a defense mechanism and it probably didn't help but, like you, i was just really set on making things work between us. embrace da awkweird, man.
some ieis i know are extremely skillful in the social sphere and human relations. they have a talent for endearing others to themselves with little to no effort, i've noticed, but some can find it difficult to maintain that interest due to inadequate personal experience with more intimate relationships. one in particular grew up in a cult-like atmosphere so although he was amicable and eloquent, he'd miss a few social cues here and there and retreat into himself when he reached max capacity, so to speak. another two were plagued by anxiety from a very early age and it resulted in something akin to analysis-paralysis. vaguely related - every iei i've known has fallen back on anti-anxiety meds or marijuana or both to help them cope with anxiety, depressive thoughts, and other fun-sized things.
i think the crux of it is that ieis place excessive emphasis on timing so they subliminally pick up on subtle nuances in social interactions that others frequently overlook. for this reason, they may inadvertently exaggerate their perceived social faux pas in their minds. it's through Se activities that ixis develop and hone their Ni insights so, without that influence in their lives, they may come across as socially clumsy or under-developed. but insert an iei into a welcoming environment that doesn't stifle their independence or goofiness and they'll flourish. that's how it is for me, at least. if i'm in a hostile or competitive environment i can't function worth shit. well, not always.
it's a toss-up between iei and esi for me but i'm hesitant to accept the the iei label as the profiles are just a tad too "angel fallen from above" for my liking and dat ain't me. hope i answered your question tho.
Last edited by wasp; 11-19-2016 at 12:37 AM.
I am hyper socially aware, of everything and everyone. Every little subtle sign that people make towards me stays with me forever and I judge my relationships based on those little smirks, looks, smiles, eye-rolls etc... A lot of communication is actually quite silent and very subconscious. This... hyper-awerness of social interaction and its signals makes me feel very vulnerable (though I try not to show it) and therefor I think I might seem as socially insecure or awkward.
That makes a lot of sense.
This is exactly like my IEI best friend. I always feel a bit bad that she's carrying what looks to me like a burden of hypersensitivity to all those cues.
I think that self-deprecation is typical defense mechanism for out type when we feel attacked. I would compare it to waving white flag during battle even if the forces are equal on the both sides. We want to compromise when we predict that it will be the quickest way to make things better.
What type is your ex? My boyfriend is ESI and he is also often resistant to my self-charm.
it's either self-deprecatory humor or pointing out the humorous aspects of a situation, but the second method sometimes gets me into trouble. immature, i guess? but i fail to see how it's any less mature than mindless yelling and arguing.
my ex was most likely ENTp-Ti 584 sx/so. his core type is definitely 5w4 but i'm unsure of his full tritype. he's a jokey guy in general so most of what he said just rolled off my back but sometimes he'd get a little wound up and blurt out a hurtful, honest opinion (i.e. social inadequacy, inarticulate when i speak, have difficult understanding things... whatever) and then i'd become numb. like, how am i supposed to respond to that? because i know it's true... so i make a joke out of it.
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