I think we are quibbling over semantics and emphasis more-so than we are disagreeing over anything fundamental.
I agree that most (though not all) of us would find it difficult to ignore being stabbed by a spear. This does not, however, change the fact that the experience of pain (like all perceptions and experiences) is a subjective construct of the mind. Philosophers refer to the theory of "reality" that you seem to be describing as "consensus reality." Our minds are sufficiently similar that we often interpret "reality" the same way that others do (or at least, our minds suggest to us that we and others are interpreting events in a similar way).
However, to Silverchris' point -- and hopefully I'm interpreting him correctly -- "consensus reality" only accounts for a sliver of what most people understand to mean reality. As you said yourself, reality writ large consists of things both concrete and abstract. While a consensus interpretation of the concrete aspects (the Se/Si aspects) of a thing or event generally will exist, consensus is much less common when it comes to assigning meaning/significance (the Ne/Ni aspects) to these same things/events. For instance, all of the participants at a public execution may readily agree that they are partaking in a man's hanging, but are likely to disagree vehemently over the significance/meaning of the hanging. Whereas the executioner may understand the hanging to signify force of justice prevailing over evil, the victim may understand his hanging to signify evil in the guise of cruel and barbaric tradition overcoming justice. Meanwhile, a spectator to the hanging may conclude that the event represents a glorious sacrifice to his bloodthirsty god. Each of these individuals would likely consider the significance they attach to the hanging (the non-consensus abstract) to be as much a feature of their reality as the hanging itself (the consensus concrete). I suspect this is especially true of Se/Ni types, since Ni (a field function) leads a person to see himself as part of his abstract perceptions (as contrasted with Ne, which leads a person to see the abstract as distinct from him/herself--or so the theory goes).
Just as there is such a thing as consensus and non-consensus reality (aspects of perception), likewise there is such a thing as consensus and non-consensus morality (aspects of judgment). Which is to say, I absolutely believe that it is possible to be a moral individual without drawing upon shared (consensus) moral principles, much less a shared understanding of reality. At this point I think we're talking classic Fe/Ti vs Te/Fi differences, with Fe/Ti types more inclined to favor consensus forms of reality. Please don't misunderstand me, I don't mean to imply that Fe/Ti types uncritically accept popular moral/theoretical frameworks on the basis of their widespread acceptance or their seeming authoritativeness (although in my experience this can be a tendency of Fe types...and bolt). I simply mean that Fe/Ti types seek to develop an ethical framework that could be explained to others via appeal to consensus reality (logic in this instance), whereas this is less true of Te/Fi types.
Given our differences in perspective, I suppose its no surprise you're alpha and I'm gamma.
In any event, I hope you see my point. Sorry if that was incomprehensible.