Well. Sorry to annoy you.
Not ESE. I married one, had and have plenty of ESE friends and the NP/SJ differences are quite distinct, as well as all the Model A differences.
When you read words you can misinterpret. No facial expression, not voice intonation. You misinterpreted me. My advice is not forceful. I do care deeply about it that topic though, and true to my type - I like to share important personal growth experiences. I like to help people have what really makes
them happy. In a helpful teacher kind of way, like, "Try this! It works!" Not a dictator way, "Everyone has to do it this way since its the only way." And IRL I only say "Try this!" to one who is open to hearing that. I am very alert to any sign to change the subject. I also ask. In fact IRL I listen way more than i talk. Its easier!
After meeting my SLI who I wrote as friends for so long our writing took a different tone, as future was very much on our minds - without it being a topic yet. Keeping things light,in spite of what I was feeling and felt he was feeling (I would not dare ever ask; I
waited til he said things), I wrote an email just saying what I made for dinner that night, and went on about the swiss chard how I like to cook it just right and it tastes so great and its so healthy and so good for us.
. SLI wrote back all stern that he didn't appreciate anyone telling him how to eat, that his sister does that, goes on and on about frozen veggies even though she smokes, and he can't stand it.
LOL.
It endeared me because
he gave away the unspoken: that he was thinking about future.
But I explained to him that I was just talking about what I do/think and I NEVER tell people to what to eat and that I believe VERY strongly in personal freedom and I never did that with my ex and I don't even tell my son what to eat. I always give him choices when I can about what to have for dinner because I want to cook what people
want.... Freedom is so important to me.
Well SLI was relieved when I explained it, I could tell. And now he doesn't have any of those worries.
I am probably not like your grandmother at all. I have an ESE friend who may well be though. She is so pushy with her husband and her kids. If she is not telling ppeople what they shoudlbe doing she is fussing and steaming to herself about it, never at reast. She is admirably and energetically dedicated to serving her family, but she has MANY detailed ideas on how they should do every single thing. It can't be peaceful to be a kid in her home. She has too high standards about every aspect of their life. And we share Catholic values, and i agree, her ideas about doing things this or that way are usually "ideal" standards. But you can't impose all that on people. The kids obey when young but they bust out later. Another thorn is she aspires to the "Asian Mom ideal" (she is from Singapore), and sort of excuses herself that way. But eldest daughter, 13, is angrily rebelling already...
I just am not that way. I have high standards of how I do things but I don't impose them on ANYONE. Not even my own son. He makes a lot of choices I would never. Like I would
never pick for my son to watch shows about zombies and play Assassins Creed. I suffer it in silence (or sometimes ear plugs). ( do have
some "No way, not in this house"). He is SLE and totally different from me, a separate person not an extension of me and I respect he is an emerging person who is not going to make all the right choices the first time.. I wield my parental right to keep to just a few minimum standards for him with a
very short list of "must do's". I was interested in the Swedish parent article recently because it was too much like how I parented, to some of the same results at times... my young son thought he was another little adult...Sometimes I worry I go too far the freedom way.
However, I do have a secret weapon to get what I ultimately want - I pray.
Don't completely count out we may be duals. [I'm IEE, and SLI seems a strong possibility for you IMO]. Consider the misinterpretations such as the one I just explained. And consider how strangely different duals are, the same only on "P". Its not the sort of "I get that!" you get with your identical. Duals don't appreciate each other when they first meet.. And we are certainly more strangers than old friends.....
And its good to get know the strange ways of your duals in your life. So when you meet one you want to date, you won't discount and overlook what coUld turn out to be a very good thing for you.
And hopefully today you learned that when she shares her strong personal values and ideas about how is the best way she should do things, you can relax because unlike your grandma she
wont have ideas about how
you should do things. Instead she will be ever-curious and interested in why you do what you do.
I never get tired of that with my SLI. I guess its because he is so different from me.
_____________
P.S. I forgot you were in on that German New Medicine thing. I had just mentioned it, and someone jumped in who hated that theory. But the thing is, I know its different view, too different for most. And I don't talk about it IRL for the most part because for most people health matters are too personal, and tied to family tradition and ideas of those they trust, the health plan they worked hard to pay for, the doctor they trust, etc. Who wants to consider a new paradigm anyway? Few. I respect that.
I love my SLI and want him to have along life, because know we will enjoy all our moments together. I would NEVER push him. God forbid it would come to it, but if he choose radiation/chemo over natural for cancer, and I had to watching him (IMO) needlessly suffer,
I still would, rather than harm him trying to impose my ideas on him. (however, he has taken to the easy part of my health regime, supplements, because he was willing, and he chooses to stick with it since he feels great on it. My Naturapath sees it as prevention so Lordwilling we wont ever have to deal with that scourge).
I never impose ideas on people. Ideas are too sacred, and the free will of persons is too scared. God would frown at me...