When I approach a girl, it's always epic. I can't bullshit around, so I usually say what's on my mind, or talk about "boring" things. No one likes that. I know I should keep trying and everything, but I'm afraid that if I was more persistent I'd start getting rejected violently.
Last edited by Park; 04-04-2011 at 12:51 PM.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
I don't know. I should be able to notice.
Yea, same.
How is a festival different from a night club? You bump into crowds of strangers in either place.Things like nightclubs are usually not of interest for me due to that fact. However things like festivals, trips and similar are always a. Actually I don't remember a trip in which I wouldn't meet new acquaintances.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Exactly
I guess that is the place with LEAST context towards me but to me it feels different than a night club.
Dunno, people at the festivals seem to be more loose (partially due to people being drunk/stoned I guess) and less bothered about being certain way, not to mention the fact you go talk to someone does not equal you are hitting on someone (which usually is if you are in the club). But I guess I just feel like we have something in common, be it preference for some kind of music or the fact of liking festivals and what is coming with them (being outside for a few days with a bunch of strangers, listening to music and not caring much about anything else).
Just as an example I wouldn't go to a bunch of people at the nightclub and start talking with them. I would go to a bunch of strangers near a fireplace and ask if I could join them. In first case you are creepy in second case nobody cares.
Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.
ENFp - Fi 7w6 sp/sx
The Ineffable IEI
The Einstein ENTp
johari nohari
http://www.mypersonality.info/ssmall/
I waited for guys to approach me for a long time, and the guys who approached me were generally Ej guys, and the relationships I was getting in generally didn't work out that well. So I made a conscious decision that maybe waiting for guys to approach me wasn't working and maybe I'd have to approach guys if I wanted a different kind of relationship. I can't say I NEVER approached guys before that but it was generally not how things went.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Oh okay, I get your point.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
a big "yeah same" from me to your entire post.I don't notice my duals and I'm not really occupying myself with doing so (noticing types). But if for whatever reason I feel inclined to get to know someone I just go ahead and do it in one way or another, directly or indirectly. Sometimes it fails but I don't see how things can happen any other way but trying? And to be honest, apart from a few awkward times (which obviously sucks) you usually get a normal response which you can use for further talk.
Although that I wouldn't do when there is no context for me talking. I try to respect other people space, as in if I don't know a person at all and there is nothing in common between us then chances that I will talk to you are slim because I don't really like bothering people. Things like nightclubs are usually not of interest for me due to that fact. However things like festivals, trips and similar are always a
EDIT: Not to mention if a woman would approach me Id probably be uncomfortable for a lot of reasons which I mentioned on this board a few times. All of the women I ever dated I approached first.except switch "women" to "men".
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
smart of you to try something different. especially since the conventional wisdom is that the woman should sit back and let the man do the "chasing".
IEI-Fe 4w3
I think dual relationships are more difficult to notice for various reasons.
They are different temperaments and clubs, also N vs S, F vs T, I vs E. All these differences make it hard for people to notice each other or be in a environment to interact.
I tend it easier to get into discussions with EJ alphas/betas/deltas because of many reasons, both extroverted, Fe bold function, etc.
They do not.Why do Duals tend not to notice each other?
Types examples: video bloggers, actors
I notice ILIs right away. Sometimes they captivate me, other times they don't. So sometimes I overrate them or else underrate them. They do the same with me. Usually the ones I underrate seem to underrate me. I'm not the sort of SEE they are looking for (I'm more down to earth and easy-going than larger than life, though I have my epic moments which comes as a pleasant surprise for them, I guess), I guess, but we still have very comfortable relations despite that. Though I notice the ones I am immediately drawn to seem to feel the same about me and we both look at each other like we are amazing. Though some ILIs I make a lot of effort to get to know and build a relationship with and they don't really get it at first but then come to "see" me and then it becomes a really supportive relationship.
Taking into account the fact that most people didn't even hear about socionics they can't be duals outside of it, only inside of it. For example, Frank and July meet, having never heard of socionics they both fall for themselves or not, but they both do not call it duality nor conflict - such concepts are alien to them to begin with. Socionics gives it a name, people give it a name to explain the intricacies of a relationship between two or more persons. It's failures and success.
Now the serious part or maybe not. Didn't do much thinking about noticing duals but I usually know whom I'm going to get along with having met them, talked to them and so on. Next, I find that they enjoy it as well. Only after that phase I give it a shot, as in, "getting to know them better", so I can be sure.
Your dual represents your subconscious additions - the Super Id. You find your dual in the erotic and forbiddon. The flawless communication makes the forbiddon possible. Not everybody is bold enough to take the leap. Your dual is in many ways your opposite.
Socionics -
the16types.info
I think for the most part this is a false idea. I think duals do notice each other and the idea that they dont is kinda just an extension of the idea that type dictates interests and from there the two dual types are unlikely to be naturally in the same place at the same time doing the same stuff.
As far as recognizing duals in situations where both types are present it's not that you don't notice your dual. In my experience you do. For me atleast my dual is someone where communication seems so easy that it kinda get's de-valued. I recognize them as valuable individuals and often think that I would enjoy talking to them and that we could have a pleasant time together it's just that I don't have time to make a new best friend and I kinda just know that if I start talking to them that will be the outcome.
So, it's sorta like I recognize them and like them so much that I generally know that If I talk to them it's going to be very involving and I just don't have the time.
Easy Day
Because they don't know what they are looking for; what make them duals aren't obvious or on the surface; we, humans, are attracted to things on the surface because we think we can trust that and we can read that; over time, we find out that some of that isn't true.
@ Agarina; I do not find LSE boring; they are my duals, extraverts, they do a lot of different things and I love our conversations.
Approach them. Go up to them and start a conversation and keep it going even though sometimes they will look like they aren't paying attention; they want a relationship, closeness, someone they can be with.From what i understand, Slacker is a VERY OUTGOING IEE. Not all of us are like that.
One thing i've noticed with SLIs i've been interested in, is I'll cast out all these gestures of friendship, and the SLIs will just totally blow off those efforts. I suspect it might be because you guys are just so oblivious (or cautious about new friends?), but I usually take that as a rejection.
Maybe the challenge for you is to try to notice when someone new is trying to be friends with you. It could be an interested IEE!
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Oh they notice me & I them... but I think it's more the extrovert inicially regarding the introvert as ordinary and looking over us? because their suggestive function is in our head, it may not be as apparent to them - especially if we're reserved and un-open when talking.
It's lame, but I actually notice SLE guys mostly in the FPS I play online (Team Fortress 2); I'm pretty sure they're SLEs, at least. My username there is Shrimp, and one SLE friend keeps calling me Shrimp Dick and telling me I'm hot and making stupid funny comments and I like it.They typically trash talk and make racist jokes without giving a shit what others think (hi
-PoLR), and I quip in with sarcastic comments while we steamroll the other team. We work well together because they usually play the brute offense classes and protect me while I support them as a medic, providing info about enemy positions, predicting their movement and deciding the best time for us to push into enemy territory. We generally communicate very well, too.
I don't interact much with SLEs otherwise because I work at a bakery and my hobbies are mostly solitary. I'm pretty good at noticing them, though, because my dad is SLE, and they're kind of hard to miss.
This is complete crap, I think I was slightly drunk when I wrote this. Ignore it for the most part.
The statement that duals don't notice each other is misleading. The idea is more along the lines of your dual reacts to stuff exactly like you would expect someone to. Which is a pretty neat idea in and of itself. The not noticing part comes from the idea that since they react exactly as you expect them to they don't stand-out or perhaps because they are so predictable to you they don't seem interesting. Something along those lines. But this is all in reference to sorta 'natrually' notcing your dual.
If you're looking you can certainly pick out dual behavior, and moreover if you do understand socionics picking out dual behavior or behavior that is very similar to your dual's I assume would be fairly easy since you're predisposed to know what that behavior is anyway.
Easy Day
that is how i'd interpreted aushra's statement.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
It's lame, but I actually notice SLE guys mostly in the FPS I play online (Team Fortress 2); I'm pretty sure they're SLEs, at least. My username there is Shrimp, and one SLE friend keeps calling me Shrimp Dick and telling me I'm hot and making stupid funny comments and I like it.
I don't interact much with SLEs otherwise because I work at a bakery and my hobbies are mostly solitary. I'm pretty good at noticing them, though, because my dad is SLE, and they're kind of hard to miss.
Haaaaaaaa....stereotypical bullshit.
Welcome to Socionics.
You mean the16types, not socionics.
If you want to change the world, start with yourself. Ghandi
Easy Day
I cringe every time I hear the word "change". Changes aren't always for the better.
They aren't always for the worse either.
Easy Day
I think I don't know how to notice IEI's; except once, an IEI-Fe guy, and that was a bad idea lol. I just went crazy. (we're not together anymore, as after a while I couldn't stop myself from seeing he was "lower" than me... uh I didn't like noticing that and tried forgetting the thought but then I couldn't anymore. ok and there was another issue with him anyway)
the other IEI's I know are female and I'm not a lesbian.
I do tend to notice Ni very quickly in ILI's, though. like, I get just one sentence from an ILI and I know they're Ni-leading.
WHATTT? You're annoying and not SLE
dunno. I just fell for the IEI in our first meeting and I became so confident and whatever (no details sorry). and he totally went with itWHATTT? You're annoying and not SLE
Because they're ghey.
My primary reason for not noticing ISTps was probably because I'd never known any, lol. Once I did the Socionics thing and found out that SLIs existed I made a better mental to look out for them. I do find myself instinctively attracted to Fe PoLR types fairly instinctively though, now that I've actually met a few.
You see, the services that we provide to our duals aren't always available on the first date as those few dates are judged on superficial qualities; for instance what I provide for my dual is emotional support, helping them understand and deal with their emotions, better figure out the ins and outs of their feelings; they can openly speak to me about the things in the past that troubles them and holds them emotionally hostage, because they take a lot of stock in what people treat them, if they are poorly treated in their early age or if someone they liked badly treated them, they can hold on to these feelings and have a hard time dealing with them. I can't help them unless they trust me and establish a relationship with me, so duality can not become of immediate use and this isn't always clear and apparent if you don't know the person's type, or if you don't know what you're looking for.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
my experience with duals has been one where I act like an egocentric obnoxious retard and they sit they either laugh hysterically or give me looks of disgust. I think it has something to do with one partner making the other feel weak in a certain area and essentially jealous. I don't think INFp's can act like egocentric superheroes... Maybe they secretly want to? But at the same time they'll say something that makes me feel like a monster. So for this reason I think duals can repel one another if they aren't willing to reveal their weaknesses to one another.
I think that applies to all relationships, not only duality. Besides, people tend to worry and overreact to being vulnerable to someone they're interested in.
tru
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