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Thread: How to find/recognize an SEI-ISFp?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nowisthetime View Post
    Watch lots of videos of SEIs, like this guy

    YouTube - 5/11/09: Will is an ISFP
    NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Bad example!

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    You'll know when you meet an SEI because they are really humble. You may even be a little annoyed at their great humility.

    Here's a video of Oscar Peterson:

    He says, "I have enough trouble playing the piano." Trouble playing the piano? This guy's awesome!

    SEIs are also very non-confrontational. I know an SEI that knew for a fact that this one guy stole his chain saw but he never talked to him about it. Instead, he just didn't trust him anymore.

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    @Filambee: thanks for the video, I didn't know that one. Yes, I agree, the guy is a good representative, as far as I can tell. I totally agree with the rest of your post, too (except the part with piano, of which I'm not aware).
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    so here's 20 yo one or maybe she's an ESE that happens to be 24/7 high





































    source: http://bongrip.tumblr.com


    well,i believe that SEIs can intergrate in every environement.others wont feel that SEIs consist a strange body even if the SEI will have nothing to do with the particular place or people.they can be chameleons having this neutralness that allows them to flow anywhere.When you look at them you wil feel at ease because they do not give you the impression that they are trying to figure something out.Actually this applies to SXIs in general but the last sentence is more on the SEI side and i also expect them to be more "agile" .SLIs can be characterised by rigidness along with neutralness and I often get the feeling that they go in skit mode; almost as if someone is holding a panel across the room with what they have to say every time.at least this has been my experience with a couple of female ones.

    [ESI stuff]

    btw

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Also a video of a ISFP like this on the bottom is likely a ESI or EII.

    YouTube - ISFP personality
    this is very interesting. before watching the vid i was like wow this is such an ESI-ish physiognomy . plus, christian stereotype check,having a book named "fear no evil" check,storing old drawings check,getting nostalgic over them check.

    she reminds me of nia vardalos .very similar vibes.







    [/ESI stuff]
    Last edited by Kalinoche buenanoche; 03-02-2011 at 12:09 PM.

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    Answer: First: Deeply calm, peaceful, "serene"; voice has an "earthy" tone to it; often making relaxation/coziness/aesthetics a point of emphasis; laid-back, agreeable; essentially a comfort-oriented and aesthetic person.

    Second: Big smiles, kind-heartedness; behaviour full of laughter and joyfulness/merriness; even a little bit silliness; secondly, a joyful, enthusiastic person.

    Example:

    Last edited by jason_m; 03-03-2011 at 04:56 AM.

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    In terms of outward appearances, I feel that some INFjs and ISFps tend to look similar to each other based on first impression (especially the Ne-INFjs and Si-ISFps). How I differentiate the ISFps from INFjs at a glance is the vibes they give me.

    The Si-ISFps I have known tend to have this dreamy look even though they are relatively more alert than what their appearances suggest. As for the Fe subtype, they look rather sensual and seem relatively confident of how they project themselves, as compared to Si subtypes. In addition, I see the ENTp in ISFps at times. It's like, their vibes seem to suggest ENTp, but I know they aren't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Filambee View Post
    You'll know when you meet an SEI because they are really humble. You may even be a little annoyed at their great humility.

    Here's a video of Oscar Peterson: YouTube - Oscar Peterson Interview Copenhagen TV 1988

    He says, "I have enough trouble playing the piano." Trouble playing the piano? This guy's awesome!

    SEIs are also very non-confrontational. I know an SEI that knew for a fact that this one guy stole his chain saw but he never talked to him about it. Instead, he just didn't trust him anymore.
    Lol, he reminds me of Simon Posford.



    Possibly IEI though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Timeless View Post
    @Timeless: Btw, had you watched the reality show "We Got Married" where she is currently in? I am seeing Ne-ENTp and Si-ISFp (Seo Hyun) duality.....


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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice View Post
    @Timeless: Btw, had you watched the reality show "We Got Married" where she is currently in? I am seeing Ne-ENTp and Si-ISFp (Seo Hyun) duality.....

    YouTube - YongHwa and SeoHyun - Messages For Each Other
    ...Haven't yet, but I gotta see that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Egbert Human View Post
    Lol, he reminds me of Simon Posford.

    YouTube - Simon Posford Interview in the Studio // Hallucinogen Part 1

    Possibly IEI though.
    Oscar Peterson reminds you of this guy - Simon Posford? Can you explain your comparison because I honestly don't see a resemblance?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Timeless View Post
    ...Haven't yet, but I gotta see that.
    Cool. That show has a lot of couples showing duality, semi-duality and relations within a Quadra. It's amazing how the producers can pair the couples up rather perfectly, considering that they probably do not have any knowledge of Socionics.

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    timewaster: to me, the girl in your pictures resembles SEI with nothing. She is likely SEE, IMO.
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    Puppy dog eyes. They all have frickin' Anime-looking puppy-dog eyes.

    Also, Socionics is not widespread enough in the west that you can rely on youtube vids; most of those are gonna just be MBTI ISFP (which ime is about 40% SEI, 30% IEI, 20% ESI and 10% other).
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

    -Victor Gulenko, Dmitri Lytov

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    It's kind of simplistic in a way but it does seem to work much of the time when you're trying to speed-read someone.

    Types and Their Overall Moods


    For the SEI:
    soft, helping; gentle smile; touch naturally; comfort oriented; sensual and expressive
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Sometimes very lost into themselves, because they are introverts and look like they aren't all that engaging with you, sometimes they have soft subtle flirtations.

    Keira Knightly is SEI; notice her long and skinny figure that looks so fragile and so soft, her eyes are mesmerizing to me.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-16-2011 at 05:21 AM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I'm resurrecting an ancient thread, but I've got questions about these posts:

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Based on my own observations of the ISFps I've known for extended times:

    1. Keep an eye/ear out for someone who is told about a desire of someone else, and then, even weeks/months later, takes steps towards fufilling that desire.

    2. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently makes jokes/quotes which subtly reference a movie/show/song/game/combined experience/etc. Those who can return a quote/joke referencing the same or very similar reference, will attract the ISFp. (Or at least ask them about the reference. This is a great way of learning about what they find interesting/entertaining.)

    3. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently talks about how some present standard relates to some other standard. For example, how current housing prices relate to previous prices, or how it relates to the bubble that has just popped, and how stupid home sellers are for not realizing that it's popped and are still trying to sell their homes (which has been on the market for months now) at previous market prices.

    4. Once found, it might take some time to get into their circle of friends. However, this can be speeded up by a surefooted pursuit of them.

    * Ask questions so you can figure out how to personalize the expectations/desires of the new environment you are creating for them, (basically, you have to know where they will fit into YOUR life) and then you just...respond...as if that environment is already there.

    * They will respond readily to the personalized expectations/desires of their environment, even if you have not yet asked them for clearance to pursue them. The stronger the pursuit in the beginning, the stronger their sense of connection.

    * Do NOT bombard them with what to do, when to do, how to do, etc. ... And Definitely, do NOT nag them.

    * Clearly inform them of what is desired, and then let them figure out how they will fulfill that desire.

    * Express your appreciation of them and the work they have done.

    Example 1: I told my bf I wanted an area of the yard cleared out. I wasn't sure how we could do it, but at the time I mentioned it, I was still hesitant. When I finally got to the point and said "That area has got to go!", he worked at figuring out how to get it done. I didn't see anything about it until a couple of months later when he had almost figured it out and began taking measurements and doing calculations. Then he took a vacation week from work and cleared out the brush and axed down the trees, getting all the major work done so he could take his time in getting the smaller stuff out (breaking up the stumps into smaller pieces for easy extraction, etc). Anytime I have not been clear in what I've wanted, he has not been able to take action, and has been unhappy about my lack of clarity.

    Example 2: From the moment I met my bf, I seemed to be the one pursuing (I couldn't seem to stop myself). He doesn't like the phone, so we instant messaged. However, I did tell him that I would like him to call me. He still hadn't. A few weeks later, my bday was coming up, and I told him that I would only invite him if he called me. He called me immediately. When I found out it was him on the phone, I got all excited at the surprise that he would do something for me which I knew he didn't like. From that point on, he would make the effort to call me, knowing how much I liked it. (We still spent most of our time instant messaging, and I kept the phone calls short, for his sake.) This is what I mean by personalizing his environment. Even though his new environment (me) had expectations/desires, the environment adapted to his desires as well, while still drawing him out. (BTW, he still hates the phone, but will now call me when I tell him to. Since I only tell him to under certain occasions, he's accepted it.)

    Example 3: My step-brother wanted to be able to put his interests and skills to use for those he cared about. The clearer he knew what he could do for them, the easier and more enjoyable it was for him to do it. The more they appreciated what he did, the harder he would work for them the next time.

    I constantly find myself lacking in the clarity department. I see how much my bf suffers when I am wishy-washy in my wants and/or am not clear in what I want. Perhaps this is why I stress the clarity point. I can easily see him (and my step brother) being happy with an ENTp, even if the ENTp regularly changes her mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by science as magic View Post
    the ones i have met are attracted to clever banter and oft changing reference of meaning in word and manner

    How are these assertions derived from the Model A characterization of SEIs? Which function(s) of the SEI do these relate to? I'm not disagreeing with the above posts, but I don't understand how these traits are predicted by Model A.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    A gentleman and a nice person who sticks around to give them and their friends a ride after a good night out at a club or a bar.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    This is an incredibly old thread, lol.


    I am not implying that this makes all commentary invalid or unnecessary, but those that will address the OP will be kinda funny in an ironic way. Sillies, hahah.

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hydrangea View Post
    This is an incredibly old thread, lol.


    I am not implying that this makes all commentary invalid or unnecessary, but those that will address the OP will be kinda funny in an ironic way. Sillies, hahah.
    I always think that too about old threads. Don't mind if I get a bit silly now myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Polly_G View Post
    I don't think ISFps travel in the same circles as me or something because I am not close with anyone who fits the description.

    What are some things that might help me notice a possible ISFp and what are the kinds of things that attract them to an individual?
    Others have already made good points for what to notice for ISFps, what they like, ETC.

    Look, bottom line, if you're ILE, you should get along with most SEIs. JUST BE YOURSELF! Everyone can tell who they get along with, and who they don't get along with, in real life. Forget the theory.

    Practically, if you don't think you've encountered any SEIs in the "same circles" as you, EXPAND YOUR CIRCLES! Do something different. Go to a different party this weekend than your normal crowd, or join a club. Be proactive in meeting new people. You will eventually find someone you get along with perfectly.

    That's my best advice. Now go do it. You'll be happier when you meet a SEI. "People who produce good results feel good about themselves." If you take action towards meeting a dual, rather than just sitting around on your chair at home, typing and reading on the internet about what your dual is like, you'll never meet them. Scary, but mastering the theory doesn't guarantee you any better luck in meeting the person of your dreams. SO WHY WASTE YOUR TIME DOING IT!

    But, if you take action, meet people, step outside of your comfort zone and socialize with people you might not necessarily talk to, you'll grow. And you'll be happy. I hate the subtle, implied, undertone of some threads like this, 'what qualities is my dual looking for', that people don't realize THEIR OWN QUALITIES are what the other person is looking for!!! PEOPLE NEED TO REALIZE THEIR OWN POTENTIAL!!! Everyone has weaknesses, yes, but everyone has strengths! All of you are better people than you give yourselves credit for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!

    *steps off soapbox*

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    Mountain Dew, thanks a lot for the thoughtful response, but I'm asking to try and understand Model A and how it forms predictions... sure, I've also got my own personal motivations for looking up info about SEIs but my question still stands.

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    * Clearly inform them of what is desired, and then let them figure out how they will fulfill that desire.
    This is interesting. It happened to me today. An ILE "clearly informed me of what is desired". I liked it, it felt refreshing. Especially the way it was said. Maybe demonstrative Te? It felt like demonstrative Te.

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Yes, if someone tells me exactly what is needed, I am able to do it. Otherwise, I feel like my head becomes cloudy. Clarity in speech makes clarity in actions.

    People who attract me are people who will listen to my incessant ramblings and actually like what I have to say about who knows what irrelevant topic, who will have a good laugh with me, but also be able to discuss something serious, however rare that might be.

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise
    Based on my own observations of the ISFps I've known for extended times:

    1. Keep an eye/ear out for someone who is told about a desire of someone else, and then, even weeks/months later, takes steps towards fufilling that desire.

    Sounds vague. I do not like it. I think I have done this, but I have wanted to do something sweet for someone.

    2. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently makes jokes/quotes which subtly reference a movie/show/song/game/combined experience/etc. Those who can return a quote/joke referencing the same or very similar reference, will attract the ISFp. (Or at least ask them about the reference. This is a great way of learning about what they find interesting/entertaining.)

    I think this is Fe+Ne. I am HUGE on inside jokes and being witty, but my Ne is so scattered that my connections between things are so thin that no one sees the connection unless I explain it. Someone will say something, and I see a connection, so I will reference that thing I thought about, but of course, it is some scattered crap that no one knows about.

    3. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently talks about how some present standard relates to some other standard. For example, how current housing prices relate to previous prices, or how it relates to the bubble that has just popped, and how stupid home sellers are for not realizing that it's popped and are still trying to sell their homes (which has been on the market for months now) at previous market prices.

    This is an SEI who thinks that they understand economics by taking a course in it. Weak Te?

    4. Once found, it might take some time to get into their circle of friends. However, this can be speeded up by a surefooted pursuit of them.

    SEIs are private and not the first ones to talk, although if you pursue them and are sure that they would be interested in you, just press. SEIs are like pies. Really thin crust that is hard, and then before you know it, they are all gooey and you cannot get them off of you, so to speak.

    * Ask questions so you can figure out how to personalize the expectations/desires of the new environment you are creating for them, (basically, you have to know where they will fit into YOUR life) and then you just...respond...as if that environment is already there.

    * They will respond readily to the personalized expectations/desires of their environment, even if you have not yet asked them for clearance to pursue them. The stronger the pursuit in the beginning, the stronger their sense of connection.

    Vague comments.

    * Do NOT bombard them with what to do, when to do, how to do, etc. ... And Definitely, do NOT nag them.

    I don't think anyone likes to be "nagged". But yes, I do agree. Don't bombard with constraints. Just say what needs to be done generally, and we will do it. In a way that makes us comfortable. Screw Te efficiency.

    * Clearly inform them of what is desired, and then let them figure out how they will fulfill that desire.
    * Express your appreciation of them and the work they have done.

    And hug us
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    Look, bottom line, if you're ILE, you should get along with most SEIs. JUST BE YOURSELF! Everyone can tell who they get along with, and who they don't get along with, in real life. Forget the theory.
    I totally agree! I attract more people, duals and other types, when I feel secure and confident with myself, when I can fully enjoy what life gives me, act myself, and not worry other people might think about me. I laugh more, smile more, and unchain my wild, random, craziness and my quick, sharp, witty jokes. I've learned that if people don't accept my personality type, its cool. I just don't hang around them anymore and I go and find people that don't look at me like I'm a wierdo when I bring up crazy theories or laugh with me when I find something seemingly insignificant funny.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RandomSequence View Post

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise
    constantly find myself lacking in the clarity department. I see how much my bf suffers when I am wishy-washy in my wants and/or am not clear in what I want. Perhaps this is why I stress the clarity point. I can easily see him (and my step brother) being happy with an ENTp, even if the ENTp regularly changes her mind.
    How are these assertions derived from the Model A characterization of SEIs? Which function(s) of the SEI do these relate to? I'm not disagreeing with the above posts, but I don't understand how these traits are predicted by Model A.
    For starters, my descriptions weren't derived FROM the theory. Though the typings were a result of figuring out how the theory applied to the people I knew.

    Despite that, the descriptions can be connected TO the theory.
    I won't do them all, but I will do the description I harped on the most: clarity in requests/wants.

    An NeTi, when saying that s/he wants something, will be able to provide a fairly logical reasoning for what s/he wants. It may not be what actually led the NeTi to wanting that, but a post-reasoning is good enough. Having an actual reason for wanting it means that the want is more likely to be a legitimate want rather than a mood-of-the-moment. Having a decent reason for it also means that the want isn't likely to change unless the reasons change. These new reasons would sound logical and reasonable enough....and basically make some sense to the SiFe.

    However, an NeFi wouldn't necessarily have a logical reason for wanting something. And any post-reasoning given would probably sound kinda half-baked to a Ti-valuer. Worse, since the want is most likely based on a creative-Fi reason, it is at risk of changing without any clear reason for the change. In other words...it would appear to be a wishy-washy want.

    Ip's tend to take time to observe their environment before interacting with it. Then they tend to adapt themselves to this environment. Particularly so of XiFe types. So what happens when this environment constantly changes on them? How much directionless adapting would they be expected to do before they finally quit and found a more "reasonable" environment?

    My description harped on clarity, probably mostly because I'm an NeFi in a long term live-with intimate relationship (over 8 years) with an SiFe. I see on a very regular basis how my constant changing of wants, and lack of clear "reasons" for those wants affect him. I also am quite aware of the changes I've tried to make regarding that, as well as what's worked and what hasn't for him.

    Now, I'm sure that a different intertype relation of similar magnitude would walk away with a different issue they've had to work on in order to aid the relationship. For example, an SeTi would focus on a different advice that was relevant to their relationship with an SiFe, an NiFe would have different advice to give, and so on.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Samuel the Gabriel H. MisterNi's Avatar
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    Thanks for your insights anndelise, you make SEIs sound fantastic.

    I'm actually on the same boat as the OP as I don't meet very many SEI these days since finishing school. Of course, I haven't really gone out of my way to meet any but it seems it shouldn't be a chore to try to meet your dual, or maybe it is, who knows. I wonder if the OP ever found some SEI to hang out with and/or date.

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    Yeah, I have to agree with MisterNi -- thanks anndelise! It's very reassuring to hear that SEIs are so receptive to logical chains as justifications.

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    Intellectual narcissism, a storm of ideas, the 'professor who knows everything', options, possibilities, potentialities. "You can do THIS, you don't always have to BE that" (A strict Ni vs. Ne valuing mode of reference)

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    So what happens when this environment constantly changes on them? How much directionless adapting would they be expected to do before they finally quit and found a more "reasonable" environment?
    Unless they have a lot of duals around, and people covering up their polr for them, they wouldn't put up with a constantly changing environment *at all* and would just end up being homebodies. This is especially true for an ISFP/INFP, whose polr is Te. That's why a lot of ip types are so stereotypically housebound. Only a non-delta EP type or an IP in a higher social status/position than them, would really be able to encourage them to do more 'real life' things and cure some of their neurosis.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polly_G View Post
    What attracts an ISFp?
    Smell of petrol in the morning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Based on my own observations of the ISFps I've known for extended times:

    1. Keep an eye/ear out for someone who is told about a desire of someone else, and then, even weeks/months later, takes steps towards fufilling that desire.

    2. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently makes jokes/quotes which subtly reference a movie/show/song/game/combined experience/etc. Those who can return a quote/joke referencing the same or very similar reference, will attract the ISFp. (Or at least ask them about the reference. This is a great way of learning about what they find interesting/entertaining.)

    3. Keep an ear out for someone who consistently talks about how some present standard relates to some other standard. For example, how current housing prices relate to previous prices, or how it relates to the bubble that has just popped, and how stupid home sellers are for not realizing that it's popped and are still trying to sell their homes (which has been on the market for months now) at previous market prices.

    4. Once found, it might take some time to get into their circle of friends. However, this can be speeded up by a surefooted pursuit of them.

    * Ask questions so you can figure out how to personalize the expectations/desires of the new environment you are creating for them, (basically, you have to know where they will fit into YOUR life) and then you just...respond...as if that environment is already there.

    * They will respond readily to the personalized expectations/desires of their environment, even if you have not yet asked them for clearance to pursue them. The stronger the pursuit in the beginning, the stronger their sense of connection.


    * Do NOT bombard them with what to do, when to do, how to do, etc. ... And Definitely, do NOT nag them.

    * Clearly inform them of what is desired, and then let them figure out how they will fulfill that desire.

    * Express your appreciation of them and the work they have done.

    I constantly find myself lacking in the clarity department. I see how much my bf suffers when I am wishy-washy in my wants and/or am not clear in what I want. Perhaps this is why I stress the clarity point. I can easily see him (and my step brother) being happy with an ENTp, even if the ENTp regularly changes her mind.
    Wow, anndelise, this is pretty good! I didn't really understand the bolded part though.

  31. #71
    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Muninori2,
    That was written so long ago, lol. I definitely should have written it better than I had. It also has a clear NeFi+SiFe bias. Meaning that it would be an NeFi approach to an SiFe. I should have done better at distinguishing that, at the time I wrote it.

    The term Environment referred to anything that is external of the SiFe. Once you enter into the picture, you're entering into their environment. Will you be a temporary fixture, or a more permanent...established one?

    Once you find out where you want them to fit into YOUR life, respond as if it is so. A poor metaphor would be the "if you think it, it becomes real" thing. Your actions and responses regarding them alters their external world...which requires them to adapt to it. The less adapting they have to do in their internal world, thoughts, actions, etc, the more easily you can slip in.

    But I'm not advocating plotting and planning. It's more like being yourself, but with the assumption that you are now a part of their world...and they of yours.

    This means that you would call them up when you want to go hang out, or that you would talk about the same things you would talk to your friends about. Basically, there's no pressure in the dating realm. No wondering if this will work out, if they like you, etc. The mere process of adapting themself to your presence inserts you into their internal world as well. You may not know just how much, but then an ENTp wouldn't be as focused on that...they would just be themselves, and bringing the ISFp along for the ride.

    But if you pressure them to change themselves, it causes a breakage between their internal world and their external one, and they are more likely to then withdraw and avoid. And they will do so in a fairly passive way.

    A comparison....an infp also adapts themselves....but they will first test you, make sure that you are worthy of allowing into their world. While an isfp is more accepting....more passive about the whole thing.

    Female isfps will likely have significant problems finding themselves in relationships they don't want to be in. They could use a guiding hand to help them not just see the reasons to get out but someone who will also take over the wheel....doing what I mentioned ...inserting themselves into the isfp's extenal world, thus requiring the isfp to adapt, and also making it easier for them to withdraw from the not-so-good relationship. This doesn't mean jumping from relationship to relationship, but more like a change of external influences.

    Male isfps are at risk of being taken advantage of. My isfp had low self esteem when I met him. His previous girlfriend had done a real number on him. He wasn't ...I can't remember the term I'm looking for....the one where a person is not just gun shy but is also hostile or negative to the idea of being in another relationship. He wasn't like that, but he had little confidence in his worth to anyone else. He's since found it, and gets all gooey everytime I let him know just how valuable I find him.

    When I ask him why he stayed in that relationship, his response has always been..."it was something to do".

    But don't think they they are lazy passive, because their not. He considers himself lazy, an Ej/Ij might consider him lazy, but outside of a full time job, he pursues three hobbies: ebay buying/selling, strategy gaming at gameshops, and commenting on people's stupidity in the news commentary sections.

    And my step-brother, who had always refrained from doing chores and schoolwork, etc....got a job as soon as he found out his gf was pregnant. And has been taking care of her and his kid ever since. He really stepped up to the plate when needed, without hesitation and without outside pressure to do so.

    And one of the female isfp I know does home decorating, antique dealing, and rpg gaming.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    ...but outside of a full time job, he pursues three hobbies: ebay buying/selling, strategy gaming at gameshops, and commenting on people's stupidity in the news commentary sections.

    And my step-brother, who had always refrained from doing chores and schoolwork, etc....got a job as soon as he found out his gf was pregnant. And has been taking care of her and his kid ever since. He really stepped up to the plate when needed, without hesitation and without outside pressure to do so.

    And one of the female isfp I know does home decorating, antique dealing, and rpg gaming.
    These three all sound like fine people with interesting/fun hobbies to boot.

    IEE Ne Creative Type

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    chocolate cake.

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    Here's something I've noticed about my interactions with ISFps, which I think other people have mentioned but I'm going to elaborate on from my perspective.


    Most of the ISFps I've known are searching for things that will make them comfortable and happy but are hesitant to step outside their comfort zone in order to achieve that. As an example, a few of my ISFp friends hit walls in their hunt for a satisfying career because they were unwilling to risk their current financial situation in order to pursue something they really wanted. Big tasks like that seemed overly complex and they worried about how things might go wrong.


    They tend to appreciate my can do attitude and my ability to break down what seems like an overwhelming task/problem into a series of individual goals. Encouragement, support, excitement and enthusiasm over the apparently difficult bleeds into the ISFps I've known. ENTps are aware of the consequences of action, but their focus is on charging forward with a reasonable understanding of consequence because they know they can adapt if a problem arises. This confidence and support really seems to encourage ISFps to do the things they recognize as wants/needs but are concerned about achieving.


    Additionally, in my experience I tend to be good at weaseling out what it is that ISFps want or want to do. This is a useful tool because most ISFps don't seem to want to inconvenience you. They seem to assess something as being desirable or enjoyable, but problematic to accomplish so they don't voice it lest they come across as demanding. It's not that they're difficult to please, all the ISFps I've known are really easy-going and up for pretty much anything. However, you sometimes have to finagle what they really want out of them. That said, when you become really comfortable and close to an ISFp they seem to recognize that you enjoy the challenge and you enjoy being a sounding board so they'll start being more open about their ideas and thoughts.
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    Absolutely everything Vero said.

    It's what makes ILEs the best.

    Also, I appreciate people who don't think that I'm stupid/naive simply because I like to say silly things and have a Te PoLR. I love it when they have a random idea or want to show me something. Exploring a city with an ILE is an adventure, even when neither of us have anything in mind.

    I like ILEs because they make the world feel like it's made out of magic.

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    Hmm...sounds like an SEI would be a fun travel buddy. Sold!

    IEE Ne Creative Type

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    Drive around in a VW Jetta/Bug painted in bright, floral pinks and greens, blast Jonsi on the stereo, wave around an Apple product, and offer knitting lessons.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    In other words:



    http://youtu.be/Y5VgLOs0LwQ



    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by force my hand View Post
    Drive around in a VW Jetta/Bug painted in bright, floral pinks and greens, blast Jonsi on the stereo, wave around an Apple product, and offer knitting lessons.
    EII INFj
    Forum status: retired

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    I would marry any girl who did that right then and there on the spot, no joke.
    Know I'm mistyped?


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