Tips for the LII on attracting the esfj
In our noble quest for the lovely ESE, it is most important to prepare ourselves before hand. Certain negative qualities that manifest in members of the type LII should be avoided, and certain positive qualities that the ESE enjoys should be accentuated. We shall begin with things that are held to be common sense, but without these considerations you will never achieve your goal. Furthermore, we shall assume that you are male, and no contact has been made prior to reading this article.
1.Iron your shirt. Always. You never know when you might happen to run into the elusive nymph during your daily activities.
2.Shave. Always. Again, you never know when you might run into someone worth while.
3.Be in a good mood. Don’t be a prick that will not hold a conversation. Be approachable. If you are going out, don’t be afraid to take stimulants such as red bull, or caffeine pills. If you are really serious, coke may be in order.
These things are fairly straight forward, and once you have consistently mastered them, you can move on.
4.Learn to communicate. Once you have the will, learn to actually hold a conversation. This means not being an arrogant ass and assuming that only what you like is interesting. An essential part of communicating is listening. Pay attention and don’t go on auto pilot. If you are as smart as you think you are, then you will be able to ask intelligent questions about anything and keep the conversation moving. Learning to communicate will not happen overnight, so do it frequently with anyone. Smile.
5. Stop being so damn introverted. Have a conversation with someone you don’t know. Learn to approach strangers. This is key. Don’t expect to just meet an ESE that you work with or through a friend. That is waiting for chance to give you what you want, which is stupid.
6. Manage your expectations. Don’t get anxious. Your only goal is to have a conversation and try to have a second conversation.
At this point, we can begin to look at identifying the ESE, and specific behaviours that will help attract the ESE.
7. The ESE can be hard to identify for an LII, so it may take practice in order to visually identify your target. The most noticeable aspect is the gait and body movements, so learn to pick them out. There is something very important to remember when trying to identify the ESE while having a conversation with said ESE. Very often the ESE has interests such as art, film, anthropology, etc. Once you have found such an interest, further inquiry is never rewarded with an elaborate answer. The answer will always be short, and will never divulge more information. For example: “What do you think of anthropology. (the course at university she is studying). Do you enjoy it”. And the answer is “it is interesting”. Any further answers will be similar. Another example: “what kind of film do you like? (a film student at university) Any genres or distinguishing characters?” and the answer: “I like short films”. Again no further elaboration will be given.
8. Realize that she will be suspicious of strangers trying to talk to her. She is going to be critical of you, and may reject you. Your conversation skills have to be decent here. Remember, ESE relies on gut feelings, and make decisions on gut feelings. Strangers cause nervousness, so your goal is to calm her through conversation.
9. if you make it past the initiation phase, you must know that your chances of being able to continue the conversation increase exponentially with the use of flattery. No, its not stupid to give someone a compliment. Just don’t give compliments about her body, she will think you are a perv. Flattery will get you everywhere, given that it is not superficial. Often simple flattery is enough, like “cool shoes” or whatever.
10. it is important to stick to your primary functions. Ti and Ne. use your logic, but don’t get dry and boring. Think of new topics and keep the ball rolling. Remember, ESE judge people using gut reactions. Keep it friendly and talk about what she wants to talk about, but do so using your primary function. Keep a confident logical background that she can say anything and not be criticised from. Smile.
11. the longer you can talk to her the better. Your physical presence is vitally important. (this is true during the relationship as well)
12. at some point, the conversation will have to end. Be sure to ask for the phone number. If you haven’t asked her about a boyfriend, and she hasn’t told you already, this is a great way to find out. With any luck she will give it to you.