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    Default Compliments

    From Wikisocion's functions page:

    "The Ego functions are mostly indifferent to praise, since it is very hard to tell a person something about these aspects of himself that he didn't already know"

    and

    "People rarely appreciate direct commentary and analysis of their Super-Ego function behavior... blah blah blah... Outright praise, on the other hand, produces an unexpected self-esteem boost."

    I thought it might be interesting if everyone posted different kinds of compliments they get/have gotten before that match up with the descriptions above.

    Here's my own example:
    when people tell me I look nice or that they like my outfit, I will say thankyou but the truth is that I don't really care.
    On the other hand, if somebody tells me that I am funny, or creative/witty, I am like, Oh my god really?? haha.

    anyways, I hope you guys like this idea and post

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon View Post
    From Wikisocion's functions page:

    "The Ego functions are mostly indifferent to praise, since it is very hard to tell a person something about these aspects of himself that he didn't already know"

    and

    "People rarely appreciate direct commentary and analysis of their Super-Ego function behavior... blah blah blah... Outright praise, on the other hand, produces an unexpected self-esteem boost."

    I thought it might be interesting if everyone posted different kinds of compliments they get/have gotten before that match up with the descriptions above.

    Here's my own example:
    when people tell me I look nice or that they like my outfit, I will say thankyou but the truth is that I don't really care.
    On the other hand, if somebody tells me that I am funny, or creative/witty, I am like, Oh my god really?? haha.

    anyways, I hope you guys like this idea and post
    Aren't you ILE? I'd say the first one is and the second is . Super-id compliments should be appreciated more than super-ego ones.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    Note: Socionics is turned off for this post. (The following may be completely irrelevant.)

    Indifferent
    You're smart.
    You're nice.
    You're interesting.
    You're a "good person".

    Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group A
    You kinda look okay.
    You kinda smell okay.
    You're kinda dressed okay.
    You kinda turn me on, okay?

    Unexpected Self-Esteem Boost! - Group B
    You make me smile.
    You make me laugh.
    You make me cry.
    You make me feel [FILL-IN-THE-BLANK with absolutely anything].
    this is interesting to me. I don't know if it'd be very easy to relate any of what people have posted here to socionics, but it is still interesting to learn what different people like to hear.

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Aren't you ILE? I'd say the first one is and the second is . Super-id compliments should be appreciated more than super-ego ones.
    ehh I still don't really know what my type is. To go more into detail.. I like compliments from people regarding basically anything to do with me being an enjoyable person to be around, or "fun" I guess. but I feel embarrassed admitting it, because it makes me seem like I am dependent on others opinion of me. But yeah "you're a really fun person to hang out with!" is always a self esteem boost for me. what element would that be related to, if any?

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    I like ego strokes of any kind.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I like ego strokes of any kind.

    ^ This. I like 'em all.


    . . . but to get all socionic, here's some ideas:

    Leading fxn: you take it for granted, and are pleasantly surprised when someone likes it.

    Creative: useful tool, you don't mind someone noticing your abilities here, but you don't seek out praise.

    Role: you think you're supposed to be good at this, but you fuck it up a lot, so if someone thinks you're good at it, you secretly wonder if they're retarded, or you think "crap, now I have to keep pretending to be good at this, shit, what if I get found out?" You'd rather just drop the whole thing.

    poLr: you know people who think you're good at this are retarded, and you wonder why they even care.

    hidden agenda: you'd like to be good at this, but you're shakier in it than you realize. When someone praises you, you get kind of smug and self-satisfied. You think, "Oh yeah, I'm awesome" but you're really not.

    Dual-seeking: If you manage to do something that warrants praise here, you get all happy, "Hey yeah, check THAT out, see what I did there!" !

    that fxn that's the opposite of your creative: you can do this, but you don't want to, and you don't want anyone to notice it either. praise here just seems shallow and pointless.

    fxn opposite of your leading: you can do this too, easily, and don't understand why anyone thinks it's a big deal.

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    Compliments I like to hear:
    "You're a good friend."
    "Wow! I never would have thought of that!"
    "That outfit really suits you"/"I love your outfit"/that sort of thing.

    Compliments that embarrass me (in that, I have a hard time acknowledging them without coming across as seeming prideful, as the compliments are directed towards things that come so naturally to me I can hardly help being good at them):
    "You have a beautiful voice."
    "You are so talented!"
    "You are so creative."

    Compliments I would LOVE to hear but rarely (if ever) do:
    "That was a very well-put and well-thought-out argument."
    "You are so quick and witty!"

    And one other I've been hearing a lot lately that is driving me nuts: "Wow, look at you! You're looking good! You've gotten so thin!" Really...I wonder sometimes if acquaintances wonder if I'm anorexic or something, but I really have done nothing intentional to lose weight, it's just the result of two pregnancies and breastfeeding with oversupply, generally becoming more active and more aware of what's healthy and what's not...Otherwise, I would gladly eat like a pig if my body would allow it.

    But the consequence of all that weight loss? Gallstones. Had my gallbladder removed, was doing well for a year, and now I have stones again! Yeah, anyone who envies me for being so "skinny" should try going through what I've been through these last two months.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon View Post
    ehh I still don't really know what my type is. To go more into detail.. I like compliments from people regarding basically anything to do with me being an enjoyable person to be around, or "fun" I guess. but I feel embarrassed admitting it, because it makes me seem like I am dependent on others opinion of me. But yeah "you're a really fun person to hang out with!" is always a self esteem boost for me. what element would that be related to, if any?

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    I enjoy compliments pointed towards my creative functions. Accepting functions - meh.

    I wonder does anyone else relate to this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I enjoy compliments pointed towards my creative functions. Accepting functions - meh.

    I wonder does anyone else relate to this?
    I think so...My producing(creative) functions are Fi, Ti, Te, and Fe. And yes, I would have to say that compliments in those areas would be more valued by me than compliments in Sensing or Intuiting functions.
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