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    Default Similarity of Dual Pairs

    Hi everyone

    I have been considering the people that I have come across and I have noted that there is a striking similarity between duals - as described in being the other side of the coin - and at times, it is almost as if you can take on the persona of your dual for short periods of time and could almost be mistaken for them...

    I was just wondering if we could consider what are the defining characteristics for each dual pair that people have noted....

    For instance, as an IEI, I feel that like the SLE, I have the tendency to go to extremes at times with things - an all-or-nothing approach to tasks and challenges and also I have a tendency to keep people at arm's length - I also note that we can both appear incredibly self-absorbed at times embarking on long monologues.....

    Further, for instance I have some LSE and EII friends and at times, I feel like they are incredibly judgmental and feel this sense of stagnation - like sometimes they are so obsessed on minor details that they have buried their head in the sand missing the big picture entirely - naturally this is an opposing quadra perspective

  2. #2
    Creepy-male

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    I guess for ILE/SEI it's the curiosity? People often seem to overestimate my capacity or desire for research.

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    SEE/ILI - Indiscriminately sociable and generous / avoidant and disillusioned
    SLE/IEI - adventurous and carefree / mysterious and worried

    Not sure about the others, but I see these fluctuations in the Dual pairs.

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    Imagine Timeless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    I guess for ILE/SEI it's the curiosity? People often seem to overestimate my capacity or desire for research.
    I'd say:

    ILE/SEI: "for the fun of it" and experimental.

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    IEI- UK IEI's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prominentproboscis View Post
    Hi everyone

    I have been considering the people that I have come across and I have noted that there is a striking similarity between duals - as described in being the other side of the coin - and at times, it is almost as if you can take on the persona of your dual for short periods of time and could almost be mistaken for them...

    I was just wondering if we could consider what are the defining characteristics for each dual pair that people have noted....

    For instance, as an IEI, I feel that like the SLE, I have the tendency to go to extremes at times with things - an all-or-nothing approach to tasks and challenges and also I have a tendency to keep people at arm's length - I also note that we can both appear incredibly self-absorbed at times embarking on long monologues.....
    I think one of the stages of duality is identity blurring.

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    Creepy-Korpsey

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    Quote Originally Posted by IEI View Post
    I think one of the stages of duality is identity blurring.
    You might be interested in reading M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled". A few relevant quotes:

    "I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."

    "The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual's ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The sudden release of onself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries is experienced by most as ecstatic. We and our beloved are one! Loneliness is no more!"

    "One by one, gradually or suddenly, the ego boundaries snap back into place; gradually or suddenly, they fall out of love. Once again they are two seperate individuals. At this point they begin either to dissolve the ties of their relationship or to initiate the work of real loving."

    "If falling in love is not love, then what is it other than a temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specifity of the phenomenon leads me to believe it is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior."

    "The temporary release from ego boundaries associated with falling in love, sexual intercourse or the use of certain psychoactive drugs may provide us with a glimpse of Nirvana, but not with Nirvana itself."

    "...the temporary loss of ego boundaries involved in falling in love and in sexual intercourse not only leads us to make commitments to other people from which real love may begin but also gives us a foretaste of (and therefore an incentive for) the more lasting mystical ecstasy that can be ours after a lifetime of love. As such, therefore, while falling in love is not itself love, it is a part of the great and mysterious scheme of love."

    More excerpts at _the_road: Love and spiritual growth - excerpts from "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck

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    IEI- UK IEI's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by k0rps3y View Post
    "The essence of the phenomenon of falling in love is a sudden collapse of a section of an individual's ego boundaries, permitting one to merge his or her identity with that of another person. The sudden release of onself from oneself, the explosive pouring out of oneself into the beloved, and the dramatic surcease of loneliness accompanying this collapse of ego boundaries is experienced by most as ecstatic. We and our beloved are one! Loneliness is no more!"

    "One by one, gradually or suddenly, the ego boundaries snap back into place; gradually or suddenly, they fall out of love. Once again they are two seperate individuals. At this point they begin either to dissolve the ties of their relationship or to initiate the work of real loving."
    Thanks yes this is interesting and I agree with the points made based on my experience in relationships. But is duality the exception? Does the merging of identities remain throughout the course of the relatonship with a dual as it's less based on infatuation and more due to the fact you have the inputs Se/Ni each other needs (and will always require)? I agree all relationships need to get to the "real loving" stage but if you can have the closeness as well then that would be a total bonus.

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    Haikus Computer Loser's Avatar
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    Yeah this is interesting...

    Sometimes when I'm with a group of people I'll make sure I don't say any inside jokes, because that would exclude some people. I like it when everyone's included and stuff so I make these stupid little jokes everyone can enjoy so its like Fe coming out

    I'm also a little "crazy" when first getting to know people, but then after a while I get tired of it and resort back into my introverted self and people are like, "whats wrong?" lol

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    I'm actually ESE and you all just take forever to catch on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    IEI SLE - both are highly passionate, emotive, strong willed, free spirited, go with the flow, and expressive. Both also tend to have perfectionist qualities about them & an "all or nothing" kind of zest for life.
    That's better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by prominentproboscis View Post
    Hi everyone

    I have been considering the people that I have come across and I have noted that there is a striking similarity between duals - as described in being the other side of the coin - and at times, it is almost as if you can take on the persona of your dual for short periods of time and could almost be mistaken for them...

    I was just wondering if we could consider what are the defining characteristics for each dual pair that people have noted....

    For instance, as an IEI, I feel that like the SLE, I have the tendency to go to extremes at times with things - an all-or-nothing approach to tasks and challenges and also I have a tendency to keep people at arm's length - I also note that we can both appear incredibly self-absorbed at times embarking on long monologues.....

    Further, for instance I have some LSE and EII friends and at times, I feel like they are incredibly judgmental and feel this sense of stagnation - like sometimes they are so obsessed on minor details that they have buried their head in the sand missing the big picture entirely - naturally this is an opposing quadra perspective
    agree, esp with your examples. i can think of a couple of couples i know who are SLE/IEI and LSE/EII and they all show evidence of this.

    i think it's kind of the down side of duality, not that a dual pair would suffer for it though. they just start to see things the same way from the same quadra values and even though it doesn't bother a dual couple, from an outside perspective you can see the limitation.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prominentproboscis View Post
    n IEI, I feel that like the SLE, I have the tendency to go to extremes at times with things - an all-or-nothing approach to tasks and challenges and also I have a tendency to keep people at arm's length
    WELL LET'S SEE IT. Let's see you go to extremes.

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    Yeah OP you're mostly right so I won't be too much of a bitch you. My sister said to me once:

    "I don't know Sam. But it's like you actually have more in common with ghetto thug boys then you do with preppy boys even though you don't really outwardly act all 'hard'."

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    Usually the similarities I notice between myself and my dual are that the things about them that piss me off are things that I do as well.

    So it just makes me madder.
    IEE

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    ILE/SEI: a need to be liked by everyone

    SLE/IEI: "rebelliousness"
    EIE/LSI: some sort of an aristocratic soberness in face of difficulties

    LIE/ESI: information hoarders

    LSE/EII: obsession with details, meticulousness, workaholism, prudishness, non-sentimentality, arrogance, pride

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