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Thread: Love Languages

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    I hate gifts.getting them especially, giving them is awkward too...
    Dunno if you're just joking around . I love gifts - not that I'm just high maintenance or something, I also like offering them, sometimes spontaneously.

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    C-ESI-Se sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
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    i really like gifts when they are spontaneous and customized and i really like giving them under the same circumstances.
    (not when people are "supposed" to and not generic things like jewelry)

    i was interested in the book the guy i'm seeing was reading so when he finished he gave it to me. i really liked the thoughtfulness.

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    idiot sandwich aixelsyd's Avatar
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    I'd think acts of service would be more related to Fi/Te, tbh. Te leading types, especially, will remember if you did something useful on their behalf out of conscientiousness, and Fi leading types tend to be really touched by that sort of thing.

    I know some ILIs who really cherish gift giving, not so much for the price but the thought, if it's something they really like, and if the giver is someone they care about (Fi), so so much for that being primarily Ne/Si, Fe/Ti. I personally prefer no gifts unless it's useful or something I want and saves me the trouble of buying it (A decent headset, a video game, or something, but too much of that is no good). I don't feel gifts are necessarily a good indicator of how close I am to someone.

    I place heavy emphasis on words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time, though, but without it being backed up by acts of service, I can suspect the person may be more of a flake.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    I hate gifts.getting them especially, giving them is awkward too...
    My ENFp friend said she hates getting gifts because then she feels the need to reciprocate. But she said she does feel good that someone thought of her...

    I love gifts because I love new things and I feel loved. Te seeking maybe..

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    Quote Originally Posted by male View Post
    Give Me What I Ask For =
    I don't understand why, do you mind explaining?

    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    ^ Good point.

    Whatever I Get =
    I don't understand...

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    physical touch = pda?? no.......i don't think so.

    most people like sexual contact but not everybody. like, i'm really touchy-feely but i don't like being held/cuddled and i had an ex who didnt like kissing
    .
    Actually, in the Love Languages book, the Physical Touch category is not supposed to be based off of sexual physical contact. It's under the assumption that most people like this, and if it were based off of sexual contact, Physical Touch would be the Love Language of like, 98% of males. Also, the Love Languages is applicable to all of your relationships, not just romantic. Think about it, there could be a guy very into being intimate with his wife and that expresses love to her in this way, but then he never even hugs his kids. That is still not his Love Language, just because he shows love to his wife in that way. Touch is still not the way he primarily expresses or receives love.

    So, in that case, PDA is more on the money with the Physical Touch thing.

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    C-ESI-Se sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
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    I'm still not seeing pda for the sake of showing off as a "physical touch" thing. Maybe if you incidentally don't mind if people see it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    I'm still not seeing pda for the sake of showing off as a "physical touch" thing. Maybe if you incidentally don't mind if people see it.

    Yeah, I think it's more of this. Not "for the sake of showing off".

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    Quote Originally Posted by pianosinger View Post
    Okay, expounding on my earlier post... You'll notice that I took each function (T, F, N and S) and tried to determine which orientation (e or i) fit best with each Love Language. I may very well be wrong in this, however...but it only seemed fair to give each function an equal representation...



    So, it looks like we're all in agreement so far that Fe valuing definitely fits here. I suggested Ni valuing, mostly because my ILI has mentioned before how much words of affirmation mean to him. Se valuing, I guess I thought that might fit here better than Si, but maybe it's just not that important to S's either way. Ti seemed to fit here, since Ti is about saying the right things, or saying them in the right way.



    Well, Abbie agreed with the Fi, so if anyone has an issue with that I'll let her explain it Ne...I could be wrong; actually, I was very split initially between Ne and Ni; maybe neither one fits that well. I said Te because...well, an efficient use of time (i.e. quality time) is important to Te users, is it not? And Si...idk



    Se/Si was a toss-up here, too; but like WA pointed out, that's probably because both Se and Si fit here, for different reasons. Fi fits, because of Fi's desire to connect with people, and physical touch is a quick and easy way to do that, though obviously only in an immediate sense, not necessarily long-term. Te...okay, idk, but it fit better than Ti...maybe... Ni, again, because physical touch seems to be my ILI's #1 way of expressing affection (maybe Si Role taking over?).



    Ne...I said this, because I love giving gifts; though, not so much in the traditional sense, such as for birthdays and such, but more in a random fashion; like, I'll see something and think "that would be a perfect gift for so-and-so!" and so then I'll buy it, and just give it right then and there rather than wait for a "special occasion," and I love surprising people like that. Ti...again, I think it goes along with my rationale for assigning Ti to Words of Affirmation, in that gift-giving is another way to clearly express to someone how much you care for them by giving them the "perfect gift." Fe...why Fe? idk, it just seems like and Fe thing to do... Si I can't really back up at all, so I could be wrong; Abbie, why do you say Se?



    Ne...this just seems so Ne, though I can't easily explain all the rationale; Ne-base types especially like to be very open and flexible, which I think allows them (us) to often be the first to jump into a situation where service is needed. Ti...Actually, I think Abbie's probably right that it should be Te more than Ti. Fe...especially group service, I think, would be appealing to Fe valuers; though I suppose it could be equally important to Fi valuers. Si fits here, especially when the service rendered helps to accomplish some physical goal, to make the enviroment more pleasant, or to help the receiver feel more comfortable.
    All I can say is this is true for myself, my love languages are quality time and touch(LSE here)

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