ENFp behavior in high pressure stressful situations

[schrödinger's cat]

This is an ofshoot of a Beta thread.

At my waitressing job, some fella had a seizure at my table. Shocked I'm standing there gawking while my coworkers are swarming around me trying to help the guy.

I wouldn't freeze up if something crazy like that. I'd have to take a second to collect myself.

My ENFP sis finally wakes up in situations like that, lke just before you ACTUALLY could die, and she cool as cucumber while everyone else is about to die themselves.

I am like that. Even when I am the one in trouble (need the ambulance etc.), I am still the one trying to keep everyone else calm. Rolling Eyes

It's also when I start "managing" everyone else - I go to calm the hysterical people and make them do something useful that removes them from the situation. Find bandages, call doctor, whatever needs to be done.

So, what about you?

[schrödinger's cat]

I'm like that. I always thought it was because I'm used to crises.

Funnily enough, I often worry about small stuff that's supposed to be easy, and that is a kind of pressure as well.

• Phonecalls.
  Confrontations.
  Giving parties. Do I have enough food? Too much? The wrong kind? Is it served the right way? Is the decoration right, the music? Did I invite the right people, is there a good mix of talkers and listeners, do people have some common interests they can talk about?
  Having to use a power drill. The first thing I heard of them was [voice of small boy saying with relish]: "If you've got your fingers caught in a door and there's blood underneath your fingernails you've got to drill a tiny hole into your nail to let the blood spurt out." (The best person to be telling this story would be vague.)
  Meeting a group of perfect Mum-and-Housewives.
  Meeting a group of strangers I don't know yet, but who know each other well, because I'm to socialize with them. It's different if we've actually got a reason for meeting.
  Plus: my body coordination is very bad, I can't see very three-dimensionally, and I get vertigo as soon as I climb onto a chair. So I'm clumsy and wary of many things that are supposed to be easy. Hanggliding, bungeejumping, climbing a ladder. Skiing, inline skating, ice skating. Walking on a sheet of ice. Crossing the street when cars are driving towards me. Seesaws (too high up). Volleyball and basketball (reactions too slow; I'd have needed more time to get the movements down pat; as things were, the ball flew towards me and I went "errr - what was it I'm supposed to do now?!"). Balancing on a very thin pole. Doing cartwheels. Hanging off something with my head down. I sucked at every kind of sport you can think of.

It can make people underestimate me. In a crisis I'm calm, collected, and able to act, and since I've realized that it's no longer such a problem to be constantly feeling pressured by stuff that others find easy.

[ENFperator]

I'm like that. I always thought it was because I'm used to crises.

Funnily enough, I often worry about small stuff that's supposed to be easy, and that is a kind of pressure as well.

Ditto! I'm like that too. I, actually, wanted to make a thread about this topic, but you did it before me. Telepathy between ENFps?

[Slacker]

Me too. If something major happens my head's on straight, but the rest of the time I get anxious over nothing.

[Creepy-]

Perhaps ENFps make the best firefighters?

[Topaz]

You girls are a mess Just kidding. Im not that bad but I do sometimes get performance anxiety, especially when it comes to sports. I can identify with SC about baseball. When I was in grade school they'd put me way out in left field (away from any action they thought). So Im out there daydreaming or playing with some bugs in the grass then suddenly everyones screaming and yelling and running and I look up and the ball is about to bean me. So naturally I duck Then realizes OOOPS I was supposed to catch it So then I grab the ball and Im trying to think where to throw it All the while everyone is screaming their lungs out! Terrified, I throw it and it goes in a different direction than I had intended and like way over the head of anyone that might be able to make use of it
sigh... THANKS TOPAZ you moron! he eh.....sorry guys.

I didnt like baseball much. I loved dodge ball though.
I have always been very flexible and can balance myself well. I could do flips and walk on my hands, juggle and all kinds of stuff like that ( Maybe I was subconciously training to be a street performer). I dont know if I can do backflips and somersaults anymore (cartwheels are easy) but I can still walk on my hands. I can even touch the top of my head with my toes. I think it all started when me and my brother would read Dare Devil, Spiderman and X-Men comics. We would pretend like we had super powers and flip and dodge and swing on anything we could find. OK we were eccentric. Sue me. :wink:
As far as emergencies go, I think I remain calm but I havent had that many emergencies so I dont know. I know at goodbye parties when everyone is crying their eyes out, I dont follow suit. I think I have to process strong emotions alone. I hate loosing control of my emotions in front of others. Thats so humiliating.
Somehow when things go wrong and eveyone panics I can usually think on my feet and come up with a solution within minutes. It always surprises me and others too because answers seem to come out of nowhere.

[Creepy-pokeball]

David Bowie!

[Topaz]

David Bowie!

uhm... Elvis Costello. (Is this a new game? What does he mean, David Bowie?) Jadae...*raises hand* Whatcha talkin bout?

[schrödinger's cat]

Jadae's died. It's his voice from the other side. A cryptic message. Lesseee... "David Bowie"... hmmmmm...

OK, it's a game. I hold and top it all. Freddy Mercury!

[schrödinger's cat]

Topaz, another point where we don't agree. I can't walk on my hands. Hah. I knew there had to be something.

I'm a good dancer, though. I've got a good feeling for rhythm. When I'm dancing, I'm not clumsy at all... unless you want me to twirl around and end up facing exactly the same direction as before, and take no longer than, oh, half a second. Yargh.

It's really all down to having or not having enough time to practice. Sensors seem to be quick learners when it comes to movements. I need more time to get it all down pat. But once I've mastered it, I'm often faster than others. Could that explain the pressure? We'd need more time to figure things out?

[MySaviour]

Joel can't handle it. Joel can't handle it, when he doesn't care. Joel can't handle it when he isn't motivated. Joel will watch himself get run over, when he doesn't have the energy to care enough to move out of the fucking way. Joel is fucking stupid.

Call him an IDIOT!

[Creepy-]

Joel can't handle it. Joel can't handle it, when he doesn't care. Joel can't handle it when he isn't motivated. Joel will watch himself get run over, when he doesn't have the energy to care enough to move out of the fucking way. Joel is fucking stupid.

Call him an IDIOT!

Idiot

[Creepy-pokeball]

David Bowie!

uhm... Elvis Costello. (Is this a new game? What does he mean, David Bowie?) Jadae...*raises hand* Whatcha talkin bout?

Under Pressure... cant ya hear the song playing?

[schrödinger's cat]

Hah! And I said Freddy Mercury! Remember their duet? I win!

[emeye]

Jadae's died. It's his voice from the other side. A cryptic message. Lesseee... "David Bowie"... hmmmmm...

OK, it's a game. I hold and top it all. Freddy Mercury!

And the IceT or some other rapper stole (well, bought) the bass riff, and ruined it all

[Topaz]

David Bowie!

uhm... Elvis Costello. (Is this a new game? What does he mean, David Bowie?) Jadae...*raises hand* Whatcha talkin bout?

Under Pressure... cant ya hear the song playing?

Jadae's died. It's his voice from the other side. A cryptic message. Lesseee... "David Bowie"... hmmmmm...

OK, it's a game. I hold and top it all. Freddy Mercury!

You folks kill me! Of course, Under Pressure.
I was watching a show once where a man was saying that many people feel the same emotion but label it differently and act differently. While some people think of the feeling as scary and nervous like they will fail others think of the same feeling as excitement and being alive. So maybe we need to sycke ourselves out!

[schrödinger's cat]

We need to what? Sycke? What's that?

[anndelise]

psych...as in influence our psyche, as in use psychology on ourselves

[Topaz]

psych...as in influence our psyche, as in use psychology on ourselves

huh yeah.... :wink:

[schrödinger's cat]

So what do you do when you psyche yourself out? No can undershtant. Please explain and give examples.

[Topaz]

So what do you do when you psyche yourself out? No can undershtant. Please explain and give examples.

Hmmm OK. So lets suppose you have to give a speach or perform in front of an audience. You remind yourself why your there. ENFPs are always getting themselves into stuff and then say to themselves "How did I get myself in to this?" The answer is because either you should be because its important or you wanted to be because it seemed like such and exciting thing to do or possibly because no one else but you are qualified. At any rate you know there is no getting out of it so you must go forward. Youre committed. Then next step is to think of the outcome. What will be gained? Enlightenment, entertainment, developing a new skill, something to expound upon later when telling funny stories, there always something good. The more you think about the prize the more exciting the task will become. Next, and this is the hard part, PREPARATION (that is if its at all possible) Usually ENFPs are great at improvising things that happen all of a sudden but when they are at a distance thats when dread and discomfort start to come in. However the more you prepare the better off you'll be and the more confident you'll feel. Scatch that, there is such a thing as over preparing and then you become stiff. But no ENFP over prepares anyway :wink: When the event comes theres no going back so throw yourself into it with faith and do your best. As usual you will be amazed at yourself during this process because all your natural talents will come to the fore and also your preparation will pay off. When its over people will say "OH MY THAT WAS WONDERFUL etc" You wont believe them but dont tell them they are insane and that it was lame. Gobble up all the praise you can and graciously thank them and celebrate the moment no matter how good or bad you did. You deserve it Why do all this? Because usually ENFPs are very hard on themselves and they ruin a perfectly good time with self critcism. HA! but now that we know this, a gentle reminder is all that is needed. Enjoy the outcome, even if it wasnt perfect (it never will be) Tell stories about it and encourage others to do it too. The next time a situation comes around we will have more confidence from the last experience. As we build more experience we get even better.
Now, there is the kind of task that actually brings very little joy or benefit but is difficult. And if you think you wont be doing it enough to really build the kind of confidence that you would like to have, head the whole experience off at the pass and decline. Make up the most ridiculous story you can think of or better yet just tell anyone who ask you "Im sorry. Its impossible" and leave it at that with out an explination. Or when no ones looking, slip out the back door and go to the movies

[schrödinger's cat]

Ah. Thanks. So it's normal for ENFps to do this? Hold little pep talks to themselves? Try to navigate themselves into a good mood? Friends found my CD labelled "Putzmusik" (housework music) and laughed, and I felt embarassed, though I didn't know why. Yargh. It's like no one can understand how you first have to build up the motivation in yourself so you can succeed. You've got to build up the fire. You've got to catch the wave so you can ride it.

Did you hear of the thing called "Flow"? It's that, isn't it? Getting into the flow.

[schrödinger's cat]

BTW, I think ENFps do "Blink" too. A LOT. We know everything right away, and that's easy. The hard bit is making up - uh, remembering the reasons why we came to this conclusion.

[Slacker]

LOL I have a cd I put together of music for housework too Lots of 70s and 80s dance music

[Topaz]

HA! "OH NO MY CD PLAYER IS BROKEN, HOW AM I GOING TO GET ANYWORK DONE!"

@SC - I dont know about the Flow thing but it sounds like a cool word to describe the process.

To get house work done I put on certain songs and tell myself I have to finish before the songs end. That gives me usually about 10 minutes to clean a few things but then Im in the flow and can keep going. I just revise and give myself 2 or 3 more songs and so on.....until Im (mostly) done. Unfroutuantely sometimes I find a book or some paper I printed and that sends me off course for a bit and then I have to work at getting back into the flow of cleaning.

[schrödinger's cat]

Flow:

In his seminal work, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Csikszentmihalyi outlines his theory that people are most happy when they are in a state of flow--a Zen-like state of total oneness with the activity at hand and the situation (see Flow (psychology)). The idea of flow is identical to the feeling of being in the zone or in the groove. The flow state is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, where the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. This is a feeling everyone has at times, characterized by a feeling of great freedom, enjoyment, fulfillment, and skill--and during which temporal concerns (time, food, ego-self, etc.) are typically ignored.

In an interview with Wired magazine, Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-high-ee)... described flow as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."

To achieve a flow state, a balance must be struck between the challenge of the task and the skill of the performer. If the task is too easy or too difficult, flow cannot occur.

Also, the flow state also implies a kind of focused attention, and indeed, it has been noted that mindfulness meditation, yoga, and martial arts seem to improve a person's capacity for flow. Among other benefits, all of these activities train and improve attention.

[schrödinger's cat]

Hey, I use 80s dance music too. Some 90s stuff as well. Let's compare notes! Best songs to do chores to:

Les Negresses Vertes, Zobi la Mouche (wakes you up all over)
Iggy Pop, Wild One
Queen, I Want to Break Free
Heroes del Silencio, Entre Dos Tierras
Weather Girls, It's Raining Men
[Whoever], Far Far Away
Proclaimers, I Would Walk 500 Miles
Fats Domino, I'm Walking
Greenday, Keep Fishing

...and all of Boss Hoss. It's a pity you don't know them, I think they're Delta-compatible. A band from Berlin who pretends to be Texan. They play cowboy rock versions of, among other things, "shake it like a polaroid picture" and "I'm a loser, Baby, so why don't you kill me". Very weird. Full of oumph. I can get a lot of work done when I'm listening to Boss Hoss.

[Slacker]

On mine is Erasure, Abba, David Bowie (John I'm Only Dancing), Blondie, Let the Music Play by Shannon, Situation by Yazoo, that kind of stuff anyway.

[schrödinger's cat]

Oh yeah. Abba and Blondie. Must get myself some of that stuff. "Gimme gimme gimme" probably gets a lot of heavy cleaning done. "Maria" could be best for tidying up.

[FDG]

"Gimme gimme gimme" probably gets a lot of heavy cleaning done.

Try the Yngwie Malmsteen cover! It's 3 times faster and a bit louder, great!

[Topaz]

Recently I bought a few songs on the web to help modernize my music. Like I got the Gorillaz 'Dare' which Ive been playing the first thing in the morning to get moving. Then theres a group called Stonebridge (Swedish) 'Put em High' and 'Take Me Away'. Just a few fun, radio pop songs.
My friends laugh because I have this big bag of old tapes (they were before the CD and MP3-- for you youngins) from the 80s and early 90s. I still have a tape player in my truck so I just have this bag of music I listen to when Im not listening to the radio. Naturally I have to explain and get chided by it anytime someone rides with me but I dont care. :wink:

[emeye]

...and all of Boss Hoss. It's a pity you don't know them.

It's a pity I do know about them...

Now, Falco, that was music, if you want recent stuff.

For the real stuff, one has to go deeper, and hit Pink Floyd. Final Cut always gets me in the flow, and I start by cutting my veins.

[schrödinger's cat]

Falco died in... just a second, I'll google him... in 1998. So his music is recent in the broader sense of the word, perhaps?

And I wouldn't exactly call BossHoss something that Gamma is bound to appreciate... so, no wonder. You're forgiven.