Yes, SEE will do most of the "social" work for you, very adeptly. Just notice and appreciate them! A compliment doesn't hurt, either!
The differences between an ESFp and ESFj are pretty strong. You just won't feel the same attraction to the ESFj, IMO. Below are a couple of links to discussions with people's opinions of the differences. First a few thoughts.
They are both interested in fashion, but ESFj looks more classic, and you will see a definite appreciation of quality. SEE likes fashion, too, but they often add something interesting, unique, eye-catching to it. Like purple rain boots with a skirt? Not something an ESE woudl do. My dh's SEE daughter is more classic, and she likes quality Coach bags, but she has a dramatic flair to how she dresses. Just more "flair" to a SEE. They can put together a real noticeable outfit, more than ESE.
The ESE's I know have all been willing to have me lean on them when I need help. Like my ESE friend who majored in Communication in college - whenever I would be at wit's end in a situation with my ex, she should offer lots of communication advice - all kinds of things I never thought about, very extensive and thorough, and I appreciated her help and she liked helping me. My ex was actually an ESE, but a Narcissist, so, being married to him, I later understood, I was merely "Secondary Narcissist Supply" so he did not like to help me, or even acknowledge me any more than he had to for that matter. However, he always LOVED helping the neighbors, and ANYONE at church, or any stranger he just met. He LOVED that - being seen as a helpful person.
While a SEE will be as helpful as anyone else, it is not their self-identifying characteristic.
In this link, which is people on this forum discussing what they see the differences are between ESE and SEE, I like #33 because it really describes the different ways a SEE and ESE might react in the same situation/conversation, making the distinction between the two quite clear. Also #67,#72, #74 describe some ESE distinctions accurately.
Here is an article that makes differences between ESFj and ESFp very clear:
http://www.sociotype.com/tools/type-comparison/ESE-SEE




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