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Thread: How to pursue an ENTj female for ISFj males?

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    Default How to pursue an ENTj female for ISFj males?

    Hello,

    What would be the best way for an ISFj male to pursue an ENTj female?

    I ask this after being inspired by this thread: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...entj-istj.html
    Does any of that apply for ISFjs or are there things that would not apply?

    Thanks.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    with diamond rings and creepy visits in the middle of the night professing his love.

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    UPDATE: *I am ENTJ. Was surrounded by introverts for two decades and didn't admit the extroversion until Hotel and Ashton pointed it out, here, and I had a good think for a few years. *



    Sorry, I am an INTP-Te female. Close, but not an ENTJ. I am all for realistic scenarios. I like working together on something and having a discussion about it, sharing life details in-between. Sometimes, I feel I can trust a person and begin to enjoy them if they're my dual after some of this. I am not one for stereotypical date things. I know some people like all of it. It's not for me.

    Sharing your interests with me = a plus.

    Asking me non-personal questions for objective opinion help or for my expertise is a great way for me to enjoy your company, since I'll be shining in one of my roles (figuring things out and organizing) and not looking socially incompetent, instead.

    Holding eye contact for long enough to let me know you like me as a person is helpful. Yeah, naturally showing you enjoy being with me.

    The ISFj being themselves would be good, since an ENTj is attracted to their dual.

    Oh, yeah, and being mature (ie having second function developed.)
    Last edited by nanashi; 01-23-2021 at 08:34 PM.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Since she is a victim she will like strong overt displays of masculinity and good genes. So show lots of aggression. One way to do this is force yourself on her.
    LIE-Ni, i think, but maybe ILI

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    Pursuing people is evil.

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Duals need to meet one-on-one. In a crowd they cannot notice the chemistry between them, and they easily overlook each other. So try to get some private time with your dual, and then see what happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smilodon View Post
    Since she is a victim she will like strong overt displays of masculinity and good genes. So show lots of aggression. One way to do this is force yourself on her.
    Just in case the word choice causes some confusion, I'd like to restate the above. I think you and I may have picked up on some similar truth.

    'Victim' doesn't accurately depict the -heavy person's role in the - romantic interaction because it sounds assault-ish. That's creepy.Really creepy. The whole point of saying someone is a victim of an act is that they were hurt by it. It's true that the person provides some revving up/energy/life to the couple, but the also provides insight and slows down the person. The Se-person has an awareness of the physics forces at work around them, but the Ni person is the strategic and resistor for action one. "not yet. wait for it. wait for it....". The timing wizard, etc.

    Strong displays of confidence and energy and awareness are it. Masculinity? I'd be offended by the notion that those things are the traits of someone just because of their piss spout type.

    I'm becoming more and more like a pacifist as my develops (i can't say that's how all Fi-valuing but 1D or 2D Fi types will trend), so "aggressive"? That's like ordering for me, forcing yourself physically on me like I'm not human, and intimidating people around us to get what you want? I'll find my own way home. Bye.


    It just occurred to me you may have been joking. I have difficulty telling.
    Last edited by nanashi; 01-23-2021 at 08:42 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nowisthetime View Post
    Duals need to meet one-on-one. In a crowd they cannot notice the chemistry between them, and they easily overlook each other. So try to get some private time with your dual, and then see what happens.
    Even on the forum they don't know how to best help or understand one another. I agree that meeting one on one activates these functions and they become clear and distinctive.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Pursuing people is evil.
    nah
    What good is a book that does not even transport us beyond all books?

    ~Nietzsche

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    I don't think its as much a 1-way thing as depictions make it sound; people are more complex than that. From what I've been able to tell, both the and party in a V/A dyad variate between both opposing 'roles' at different times.



    Haha, piss spout type. That's awesome.



    Right. γ-SFs aren't anything close to being that 'aggressive'.



    I considered that, but they sounded pretty serious to me lol.
    Oh, Ashton. I you
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    Quote Originally Posted by smilodon View Post
    Since she is a victim she will like strong overt displays of masculinity and good genes. So show lots of aggression. One way to do this is force yourself on her.


    this is exactly what not to do.

    sexual assault is bad.

    the Ni Romance Style is not a 'victim' one; whoever named it did so ineptly (which is just human, but let's update, people).

    They crave being around someone very aware of physics dynamics. That's not 'aggress at me.' And whoever tells you that is grossly misaligning the theory with a creepy and dangerous ideology. *sips tea
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by snowczar View Post
    Hello,

    What would be the best way for an ISFj male to pursue an ENTj female?

    Thanks.
    When ISFj are themselves they can be intriguing to and adored by LIE who often alter their free-spirited, enterprising course to be closer to the ESI. If the two coexist in parallel for a bit, perhaps working near each other and sometimes on a shared project (even if that is just helping stack chairs at theirr mutual friends' wedding), it is beneficial. ESI-LIE dual couples enjoy enterprise/expeditions/having a partner to whom work is important. I am an sx/so ENTJ, so having a few people joining us and seeing the ESI while being myself with the others in a social way is pleasant. I get to reveal facets of who I am to the ESI without doing so directly and without the ESI perhaps feeling on the spot to respond.


    The ESI acting like a friend...with us inviting each other to fun outings and sharing our thoughts, memories, hopes, and concerns is great. And there being the occasional wistful facial expression that communicates their is some romantic interest, too, is great.

    ESI keep ppl at a distance. LIE don't operate at a distance from anyone. It's important that the ESI are listening to themselves about keeping the LIEs at arms length with occasional breaks of flashing smile in their serious countenances, flashes that light up the room like sunlight, communicating the situation pretty well: the ESI likes the LIE but isn't about to upend their crafted and healthy life for attraction alone. The LIE, like a roaming adventurer, slowly builds trust by exhibiting their reliability and strengths and confidently being vulnerable. The ESI isn't necessarily used to the amount of possibility and variety and frenetic and quickly changing activity an Extroverted Intuitive brings to the table.

    LIE are great at convincing themselves and other people to go on an expedition (even a committed romance/marriage) because they can use rhetoric, like challenging projects, and are happy to work.

    That doesn't mean ESI (or anyone else) are best served by EVERY offered expedition. Sure there is attraction, but is this romance a good fit for each person at the stage of their life they are in? Do both ESI and LIE have skills for discussing problems the couple will encounter? Have they each developed and maintained themselves? ETC.

    The ESI naturally keeping others at a distance helps both the quick-to-enterprise LIE and the ESI.

    This duality is a lot like a healthy friendship between two people who care a lot about their work and who are also attracted to and supported by each other and crave having sex with each other. Stereotypical tropes of dating often aren't appreciated by this dyad, afaict. Neither has to bring roses or be the only one who asks the other out. Plenty of females (ESI or LIE) are the ones who propose marriage to their partner. In this dyad, they are romantic and daring and feisty, but in their own idiosyncratic ways.

    The members of this quadra must not have their metaphorical hands tied:
    self-direction, communication, and mutual support are themes I can think of that might be specifically important to them.


    If you're trying to get closer to an LIE and are an ESI, think about how you would get closer to this person if they were them but you were interested in a friendship. Would you ask them their opinion? ask them for a hand on a project? invite them out? etc
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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