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Thread: The over-riding goal of your life

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Default The over-riding goal of your life.

    God I wish I could figure out what mine is. I know I never will but at the same time I doubt the desire will ever fade so... sorta logically speaking I guess the goal of my life is contentedness. Not like complacency though, not something you slowly sink or ease into. That feeling that you achieve once you've accomplished a goal. I don't know if it matters so much what that goal is or even if the quality or quantity of the work put in are important so long as that sense of achievement is reached.
    Easy Day

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    Creepy-male

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    To eat delicious food.

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    To eat delicious food.
    Dude... That's actually a really good one. SHIT! There is some mother fucking great ass food out there.
    Easy Day

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    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    There is some mother fucking great ass food out there.
    That there is, Joe, that there is.

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    without the nose Cyrano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    To eat delicious food.
    To Serve Man.
    ISTp
    SLI

    Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Once you achieve a goal, you shouldn't celebrate for too long. Another unfulfilled goal will show up and everything will start up again.
    ILE "Searcher"
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    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Once you achieve a goal, you shouldn't celebrate for too long. Another unfulfilled goal will show up and everything will start up again.
    Yeah, what he said.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    To work hard for something and be really really good at it. It's just too hard for me to keep working on it if the process is uninteresting..and if I don't get enough feeling of success.
    I always idealize these kind of things. Pretty normal shit I think, like being a very good player at some competitive video game or to be able to write nice music.
    Is this type related?

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    Contrarian Traditionalist Krig the Viking's Avatar
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    To seek truth in all things. Hence my signature.
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    Constant and Never-Ending Improvement
    ILI (FINAL ANSWER)

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHIEO1_0Ulo]YouTube - Metallica-Battery[/ame]
    ILE "Searcher"
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  12. #12
    Creepy-female

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    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    God I wish I could figure out what mine is. I know I never will but at the same time I doubt the desire will ever fade so... sorta logically speaking I guess the goal of my life is contentedness. Not like complacency though, not something you slowly sink or ease into. That feeling that you achieve once you've accomplished a goal. I don't know if it matters so much what that goal is or even if the quality or quantity of the work put in are important so long as that sense of achievement is reached.
    I don't know..I identify with your description of goal setting/achieving....and I do it compulsively.

    And yet living from one goal to the next..it's anticlimactic. Reaching the plateau of your respective goal always seems to me to be something of a letdown once the elation wears off. You can't stay in the achievement.

    It's basically bewildering to my mindset that my states change. I can justify actions/reactions logically, and keep repeating "this consequence, this consequence" over and over..and try to make decisions based on that..but the way the state feels overrides that. Every damn time. Like "it will be different tommorrow?" When I'm sad, it's always going to be that way. When I'm hopeful, my imagination carves paths a thousand miles into the future.

    The only thing that's really helped me track my states in any meaningful way is writing. It always feels awkward to..change. When you dash off or are stilted unwilling into chase the next state, you forget how it felt to be in the previous one. But sometimes they repeat..I never remembered enough details to figure out that they repeated or had the feeling that something was similar and that perhaps they were signals. But when I read my writing I feel sane because everything that corresponded to the situation is there, details are there, and I feel that I can get a more accurate sense of what is going on or what happened in the past.

    I don't like summaries. I can tell everyone.."I never got along with my parents. I'm just taking some time to breath." And they'll respond to that summary with some vague "everyone goes through that. It's hard." Sometimes it's ok because you do sense the sincerity of their intentions behind those words. But sometimes it's difficult because it's like they can't just..put themselves in the situation. And suspend judgment. I can give you a summary about my choices and then it becomes something for you to comment on so you can guide me.

    But I'd rather you said..when I was twelve..my aunt gave me this necklace from peru. She was eccentric, always bringing weird items from foreign places. I wore it to the homeschool co-op, to a grey carpet and bulletin boards and that red haired schoolmate I tolerated and square rooms with projectors and florescent lights. I wore this necklace, something of a bulb shape, beaded, red and blue and black..and while mom walked me into the halls, she said..we shouldn't wear that here. We want to give a Godly impression to these worldly people.

    It's like..what do you do if that's what you're taught..that everything you want is wrong, something small is sinful, something pretty must be denied..it's not even abstract. It's like you get a cold, anxious feeling in your chest every time you reach for something you want.

    I'd rather you said..that elderly lady smelled like baby powder, her lips reddened garishly, her dignity intact as her shaking hands grasped the tray.

    I'd like to say..in a moment where you're not distracted..I'd like to say..to people..at the height of prednisone, trying to keep a spinning room together, trying to make sense of family, a crumbling body, an eminent disease, I said "All this over a fucking sweatshirt"...and you came over and hit me in the mouth. The odd thing is I could forget that. I could forget the qualifiers that I just set up in order for me to feel I have an objective footing to justify myself by. "You did that to a young girl on a drug...what a heresy!" But that isn't..important. That wasn't what I was thinking about, what was important at the time, I wasn't connecting the dots. That may be the overriding perception gleaned after observing situations for a while. But at the time I never thought it had anything to do with those things...and maybe it didn't. Maybe it still doesn't. Those kind of perceptions/sayings are constructs, excuses. When I talk, things are stark enough that you're sort of shocked into agreeing. But what I'm saying..isn't my justification. I don't care if they make sense to you. I don't want to have to accommodate that. I'd rather just feel them.

    Those convenient phrases were things I was holding up, a summary I could offer people, to explain something more essential being smothered I could never quite put into words. That more important thing surfaces for me in vivid detail, but's easy to forget vivid detail when you're constantly bombarded by it. Memories fade. You come away with impressions, you come into pain again, and it doesn't connect to anything..you just feel it. You talk about the previous situation..if you tell other people things enough, maybe you can forget your own real awareness. "No, we just have issues. Yes, I know how this plays out in general. Yes I'm aware of my decisions." When it's just like..fuck this. Quit talking to me..quit criticizing..don't change me. Just be with me. I don't mean to be trite, but don't try to figure me out. Just hold my fucking hand while things hurt, and let go and let me fly when they don't. You don't have to stay if you don't want to.

    It's like you have goals, and then you have in between things..I don't know. I can't say that "life is the journey" or it sort of becomes this weird goal in itself. Everything I envision for myself becomes this state, this static concept, a sort of cage of which I have to trip clumsily out of and into the next one. I feel that I have come to understand what having a static nature actually means. At first I was confused..what does it mean when you "see life as a bunch of snapshots instead of a moving film"..that's so vague. When you have a more visceral understanding, it's hard to trace..and patterns take a long time to surface.

    But umm I think I got off topic. I kind of want..simple things. Things that I can't even really say because it's like blasphemy, like someone is going to jump out of nowhere and tear me down for it, for wanting those sinful things. And yet it's all in my mind..I just sat in countless sermons and internalized everything they said into this sort of pissy inner critic. It's hard, because I want to do the right thing too. And modesty is sitting in your own sweat. Diligence is denying beauty. Mercy is letting people that you don't want trace dirt into your lungs. Being taught is groveling. Self awareness is surrendering to the hole in your head. And going on is crying. You're crazy. Yep. Let everyone else fucking tell you their analysis because you don't speak, so of course you don't have one! I feel it's taken me awhile to discover...I was authentic in the first place. Before all that shit, I actually had something of value. And I do, I do now, it's instinctual, I'm different but I'm not gone, and I can go on.

    I like freedom. People always told me it was a weight, but I don't feel that way. They told me I should feel scared, and although sometimes I do, it's not enough to define freedom..it feels like freedom involves this big unknown space I don't know about, but I want to keep living so I can find out.
    Last edited by female; 07-27-2010 at 10:58 PM.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    that made me wanna cry.

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    Creepy-female

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    that made me wanna cry.
    aw haha

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    Moderator xerx's Avatar
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    I'd say the goal of my life is sort of the opposite of that. I need to achieve something important, but I really don't care if it makes me happy in the end. Doing it is the interesting and creative part and the goal has to reflect something vital and essential, not the reward itself, which I'd probably have no use for anyway.

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    Moderator xerx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    I'd say the goal of my life is sort of the opposite of that. I need to achieve something important, but I really don't care if it makes me happy in the end. Doing it is the interesting and creative part and the goal has to reflect something vital and essential, not the reward itself, which I'd probably have no use for anyway.
    I forgot to quote JWC3's OP. >.<

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    To...hm...eventually die. Think I'll reach my goal?

  18. #18
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Random Ness View Post
    To...hm...eventually die. Think I'll reach my goal?
    It would be beautifully ironic to have that deprived of you.

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    To inspire. To create some life in someone else.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    To inspire. To create some life in someone else.
    yeah lately I've realized how happy it makes me to affect & inspire other people, for good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    To inspire. To create some life in someone else.
    Ewwwwwwww
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    Ewwwwwwww
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    I don't really have one. I enjoy life by default so it's not really a goal, more like a mode of operating. I guess if I had to pick ,it'd be freedom. Free to go and do as I please. It kinda affects everything I say and do. (Financial freedom, etc)
    yeah, freedom is a good one.

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    To live 1000 years.

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    To live 1000 years.
    I'd go for that.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    The Looks stanprollyright's Avatar
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    To live happily ever after.
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