The part in the first paragraph that *didn't* sound ENTj to me was "he rarely shows emotion, but . . ."

I've only once seen my husband try to pick a fight (like physically) with someone, but then he was in his mid to late 20s when I got him so maybe he did it when he was younger and had outgrown it by the time I met him. I've seen him argue and pick at people verbally just to see how they react. I've been on the receiving side of that, come to think of it. Frequently.