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Thread: Deltas do you call your significant others "sweetheart" 'honey, etc.

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    Default Deltas do you call your significant others "sweetheart" 'honey, etc.

    I'm curious: Deltas, do you call your SO "sweetheart," "honey," etc.?

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    All the time. "Babe" "sexy" "hot cake" "handsome" "good looking" "smart" "sweet" "my love" "honey" "dear" "sweetheart"

    in Armenian...

    "jan" 'j-gar" "sirun" "ser" "kyank" "em seertis" "hoakies"

    En Francais...

    "je t'aime" "Tu es ma joie de vivre" "Tu es mon mon amour" "Amour de ma vie"
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 04-08-2010 at 07:33 PM.
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    I would say such things in my mind or in written form more than verbally. I would be a little embarrassed to voice it (maybe that would change in a reallly serious long-term relationship where we feel like a married couple, don't know) and sometimes it seems like a condescending way to talk to someone (depending on how you say it of course--"babe" is the worst offender that way--HATE being called "babe" and would NEVER think to do that to someone else). But the way I would say his name carries heartfelt emotion (don't know if it comes across to him though, I'm thinking an SLI would probably pick that up, no?).

    That said, as far as pet names go, sweetheart and honey aren't my favorites (they go into the same category as "Babe"). . .i go for "sweetness," "love," "my dear {name}."
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    I used to date someone where we had a game where we'd come up with names like that for each other, anyway it got to some pretty ridiculous names, but it was tongue in cheek and made us laugh. Just had to be careful no one else heard us or they'd think we were insane, well, only be careful sometimes, the world'll find out sooner or later.

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    I like the idea of pet names, but currently have 0 w/ my current bf. He said usually girls call him things, but he says nothing in return. Weird.

    In the past, guys have called me names, mainly feeler guys. Such as babe, baby, sweet pea, or silly made up names.

    i'm ok w/ not using the fake names. I feel weird saying them. I agree w/ WorkaholicsAnon that I would be more likely to use them in writen form, like a text or something, but even then I feel a bit dumb.

    Come to think of it, my SLI doesn't even say my name out loud very often at all. I've only heard him say it maybe a few times. I say his name a lot more just in conversation.
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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Only if I wanted to annoy my significant other

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    How can someone not like being called something lovingly? I can't get that through my head. It seems like some kind of phobia for affection.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    I like the idea of pet names, but currently have 0 w/ my current bf. He said usually girls call him things, but he says nothing in return. Weird.

    In the past, guys have called me names, mainly feeler guys. Such as babe, baby, sweet pea, or silly made up names.

    i'm ok w/ not using the fake names. I feel weird saying them. I agree w/ WorkaholicsAnon that I would be more likely to use them in writen form, like a text or something, but even then I feel a bit dumb.

    Come to think of it, my SLI doesn't even say my name out loud very often at all. I've only heard him say it maybe a few times. I say his name a lot more just in conversation.
    Your guy needs to increase his woman-pleasing abilities by tending more to her/your emotions. That's too bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Your guy needs to increase his woman-pleasing abilities by tending more to her/your emotions. That's too bad.
    Some are not that into pleasing their partners in both the emotional and physical level, and it's usually not expected of men to tend to the emotional issues of women, which undoubtedly, is a major cause of problems in relationships imo.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Some are not that into pleasing their partners in both the emotional and physical level, and it's usually not expected of men to tend to the emotional issues of women, which undoubtedly, is a major cause of problems in relationships imo.
    good call

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    Very interesting. . . I'm seeing a clear divide between the EIIs and IEEs in regards to use of pet names!

    Maybe this is a delta p vs delta j thing.

    Also, to Lobo, I don't see it as a phobia of love/affection. I feel it as kind of a sincerity/condescension issue. I know it doesn't really make sense. . .must be a "p" thing. Though the SLI I knew did occasionally out of the blue call random acquaintances some funny unique nickname (like this one girl whose last name was "Straw", at one point he was like "hey strawberry, I'm going to sit next to you"). The thing was that he felt nothing for her except very superficial platonic acquaintance. there's more to that story but I won't go off on that tangent here; my relevant point has been made.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Very interesting. . . I'm seeing a clear divide between the EIIs and IEEs in regards to use of pet names!

    Maybe this is a delta p vs delta j thing.

    Also, to Lobo, I don't see it as a phobia of love/affection. I feel it as kind of a sincerity/condescension issue. I know it doesn't really make sense. . .must be a "p" thing. Though the SLI I knew did occasionally out of the blue call random acquaintances some funny unique nickname (like this one girl whose last name was "Straw", at one point he was like "hey strawberry, I'm going to sit next to you"). The thing was that he felt nothing for her except very superficial platonic acquaintance. there's more to that story but I won't go off on that tangent here; my relevant point has been made.
    Hmmm, idk if there's necessarily a type distinction when it comes to this. If my SO calls me babe, sweetie, or whatever, I wouldn't be doubting the sincerity. I take all I can get in terms of affection . It would feel kind of strange to tell my SO not to express affection towards me like that.

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    Ugh, no. My SO does it all the time though and I hurt a little inside each time he calls me Babe or something. I guess I should like it but I dont. What the hell...come to think of it...I've never even called him by his name. I never even had to. That's odd.

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    i say girl, or baby girl, or baby boo, but just because it's funny.
    asd

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    Only when I want to be intentionally embarrassing, or if I'm giving an extravagant greet over the phone (anyone around when one another picks up each other's calls are rather bewildered on how we start conversations ). We mostly call each other by our first names, but often we joke around when calling for each other across rooms or something. I think pet names are reserved for obvious joking and flirting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    "daddy"
    okay i have never understood this. how in any way is it cute/sweet/romantic/sexy/whatever to call your s/o "daddy"? oh daddy i love you so much. what is that shit lol
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    Yeah...I'd feel really dirty calling him Daddy. The word Daddy should never, ever be mentioned when I'm getting intimate with someone. Strangeness.

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    I'm on my BB so I'm not able to quote easily, but Lobo, I still stand by what I said. The delta irrationals here uniformly seem to be anti-pet name. You are EII, aren't you? Which is why you feel the way you do. I guess that's why SLI and IEEs are duals, neither would even want to use these cheesy nicks, so neither would have to ask the other to stop. I would totally ask a guy to stop calling me babe or sweetie (ick). It feels disrespectful and to me is hurtful and a turn off, just as Jessica expressed.
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    I thought i was the only one who felt like being called 'babe' was disrespectful..good to know I'm not. It just feels very demeaning to me...I know it's not meant to be that way, but that's how I feel everytime I hear it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    I'm on my BB so I'm not able to quote easily, but Lobo, I still stand by what I said. The delta irrationals here uniformly seem to be anti-pet name. You are EII, aren't you? Which is why you feel the way you do. I guess that's why SLI and IEEs are duals, neither would even want to use these cheesy nicks, so neither would have to ask the other to stop. I would totally ask a guy to stop calling me babe or sweetie (ick). It feels disrespectful and to me is hurtful and a turn off, just as Jessica expressed.
    Uhm, ok... I didn't see it as such a serious issue. It probably doesn't mean much here to say that my IEE friend likes to call people like that at times, since you will be standing by what you say .

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    I think Workaholics has a good point, and it's probably true most of the time.

    However, I do like to be called names like this, despite not usually using the names back. Which is kinda weird I guess.

    I guess if they were to say it slightly teasingly/kidding around vs. being totally serious, that'd be fine.

    But if a guy is drunk or something and calls me a cute name I like it.

    Though I must say I had an ex (esfp) who called me babe constantly, and it did take me a long time to get used to it (I was never offended by it, but didn't quiet "get" it). I called him that back because he seemed to want me to, and it became a habit, though it never felt quite natural.

    I actually think maybe it's more of a Fe thing? I feel kinda dumb saying Fe things. For instance, I could never say to a friend "you're a crazy bitch!" (endearingly) or "Damn hottie look at you!" etc. Though I hear Fe people say such things and it sounds great when they say it. I would rather say "that's a cute outfit" or "you're so funny."

    So in conclusion, I think WHA is right, but I also will not turn down an ISTp calling me a cute name.
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    I think you guys are bizarrely sensitive and attaching realms of meaning where it shouldn't be attached. lol I usually have 1-2 pet names for my SO, but I don't use them all the time. And they're usually different in each relationship.

    I guess they could be viewed as offensive depending on how the person says them. But if I got the feeling that my SO was using the name in that fashion, what the hell am I doing DATING him?

    For instance, I could never say to a friend "you're a crazy bitch!" (endearingly) or "Damn hottie look at you!" etc. Though I hear Fe people say such things and it sounds great when they say it. I would rather say "that's a cute outfit" or "you're so funny."
    And I say shit like this all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Some are not that into pleasing their partners in both the emotional and physical level, and it's usually not expected of men to tend to the emotional issues of women, which undoubtedly, is a major cause of problems in relationships imo.
    I have no phobia of affection. I love to please, pamper, and please, adore. And, give them lots of independence and freedom.
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    I have no phobia of affection. I love to please, pamper, and please, adore. And, give them lots of independence and freedom.
    When I got to end of second sentence I was wondering if sounded a little smothering, lol.

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    I call my husband "sweetie".

    I call my girls:

    Baby doll
    Baby love
    Lovey dove (or love dove)
    Lovey
    Cutie Patootie
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    I love it when my bf calls me "babe"..only him though. I hate it when guys are trying to be smooth ...as friends or on dates and add it in. Yep. that's about the only pet name I like. When I'm joking I'll call him "big papi"

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Personal insults seem much more endearing and much less creepy than the standard "baby" "sugar" "honey" etc. I'd recommend someone try out "slanty-eyed ******" and get back to be about how it worked out.

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    When my husband is trying to be funny, he will call me "woman", "wife", or even "wench." :/ It isn't really all that funny. He will sometimes call me "sweetie" but usually only when he's tryng to get me to run out to the store to get something for him.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarahdxwrappd View Post
    I love it when my bf calls me "babe"..only him though. I hate it when guys are trying to be smooth ...as friends or on dates and add it in. Yep. that's about the only pet name I like. When I'm joking I'll call him "big papi"
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    The most natural ones for me to use are "babe" or "hun." My longest relationship was with an IEI, so she would use more pet names than me, and I didn't mind too much. I threw some of them back at her out of silliness more than anything. Names like "sweetie pie" or "baby cakes" or "honey bunny" I used only in jest.
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    I would say it depends on the Delta/individual.

    Once we are officially in a relationship, I say "Dear" "My Love" and "Precious" *makes Gollum face.* Only in private though, I would be mortified if a SO did it in a public place, I'm a private person. I've only been in one relationship in my life though. I have to have gotten to know him on a deep level before we get to this stage of our relationship. It's an indication that I feel safe with him, and it's one of the greatest things in the world when my special someone calls me that too. It makes me feel wanted and accepted, there are a lot of places in the world where I feel like an outsider but I can be myself with him. If a guy didn't say these things, he probably wouldn't be the person for me.

    I guess this is a little part of a love language (?) I mean, words of affirmation is more one of my love languages but it's a weird subtype of that in my book.

    I know some people think that's yucky and mushy, and it is to an outsider. I get grossed out if I'm not an insider.

    But if some guy who I wasn't in a relationship calls me sweetie, I'll want to avoid that creepo.
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    lol I said dear today to a pakistani veggie seller Id never met before... I call "dear", "beauty" or smth ending with -y pretty much everyone.

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    assuming I am indeed delta, yes, I use pet names

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    I have no significant other, but I absolutely despise pet names.

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    I know a LSE/SEI couple and he calls her heifer, and she calls him heifer.


    But yea of course it needs proper timing to feel right. If it's too early in the relationship it just feels cringe and forced.

    Fi-Ne-Si would probably come up with some pet name that's an inside joker or very particular inside reference. That's how I feel like I would do it anyway.

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    Heifer, huh? Not sure if I would go for that. xD

    In general, nah, pet names aren't my thing.

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    My EII grandmother does not tend to call my LSE grandfather many pet names. I've heard "dear" a few times, I think, but it tends to sound offhand. The LSE doesn't even use that, but he does use her name more frequently than needed.

    Incidentally, the LSE usually sounds to me warmer and more caring of her without using pet names than the EII does of him when she says "dear".
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 01-25-2020 at 05:44 AM.
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