How does delta fill the emptiness inside?

[Lobo]

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

[UDP]

*slap's lobo's bottom*

Alright, now that this is out of the way, let the serious discussion continue.

[silverchris9]

Cookies. They fill it with cookies.

Seriously, though, I don't know. Probably some sort of cause, helping others, getting outside yourself to really do some good in the world.

Then of course the things that make everyone happier: more close relationships, more fulfilling job/hobby/something, having some sort of goal that you're making progress towards.

[UDP]

Cookies, physicality, and sharing discovering life with people, those do it a lot. The more meaningful things I share with people, the better.

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

[Lobo]

I don't want to make this into a "me" thread though, but idk, the emptiness just comes back and don't know what it is. I want to see what other people do, etc.

[silverchris9]

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

I wasn't going to go there, but yeah, I think a lot of the lack of satisfaction people tends to have does at least to some degree relate to the relationship with God or lack thereof. That's what I think anyway.

[Lobo]

I'm open to the possibility of emptiness being related to spirituality. It's like the feeling of not being satisfied, regardless of what you have... Wanting more from things/people and it not being delivered. It sucks.

[Suz]

Cookies, physicality, and sharing discovering life with people, those do it a lot. The more meaningful things I share with people, the better.

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

I like

lol to silverchris! You thought you were just kidding with the cookies right?

[Creepy-]

I deal w more anxiety than emptiness, but I definitely have experience w that empty feeling [as all people do, I'd guess]. I wish I had some grand piece of advice to offer, lol, but I don’t. Maybe some older, wiser Delta will come to the rescue of us all. But for now, here’s what occurs to me:

Sometimes thinking of and doing some random nice thing for another person/people helps. Actually, that's probably the one thing that almost always helps.

Painting helps a lot when I'm in those moods, too. I let my mind wander free; my thoughts swirl around for a while as I paint, and I almost always work through things in my head and feel a sense of relief afterward. It's like I keep myself busy w the activity of painting something and thinking about that, and that frees up the rest of my mind/energy to work on whatever problems I'm dealing with.

Walking or running through the forest w my dog is very relaxing to me and helps me focus my thoughts sometimes. I really like to hike up a mountain that’s near my house and then stand at the top and look out at everything stretching out in every direction… kind of helps w perspective. Plus, it’s quite a workout to get up there and endorphins are good things, heh. [BTW If I'm going for a walk/run bc I feel down, I usually don't take my iPod w me; it's better if I don't clutter my mind even more w outside noise.]

Sometimes writing helps when I feel anxious or down. I'll look up quotes on a particular topic, read through them, and take one that resonates w me as a jumping-off point for a journal entry [typed, not hand-written, bc my handwriting is atrocious... also my hands can keep up w my thoughts better if I'm typing].

...

[Beautiful sky]

I go dancing. Hang out with friends and family.

[Creepy-male]

[as all people do, I'd guess]

It's really transient for me. Matter of hours type transient. Maybe it's an Aristocratic thing?

EDIT

And it's less a "nothing delivers" sentiment, but more of a specific want for something I see as missing. I also have a weird habit of transmuting that want into a want for some concrete experience, like sitting somewhere with lots of trees and no people, or a hug, or something.

[Minde]

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things. Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things), get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Generally, for me, the emptiness feeling is temporary. Which it seems, from what I've observed of lots of other people, might be a little unusual. It seems to come on me most often after I've spent some time ignoring God, though I think circumstances and hormonal changes can play a part, too.

I do want to say I'm not entirely sure there's a perfect connection between being close to God and not experiencing emptiness. I mean, I know of quite a few people of great faith who also chronically suffered from depression, for example. So saying, "You need to know God and your problems will be fixed", is hardly the answer I'd give. All I can really offer are my own experiences.

[Mattie]

I don't have a feeling of emptiness and I'm an atheist You give meaning to everything around you, not anything/anyone else. So if you want to give yourself importance, or find a goal that you can realistically attain, it'll be of your own volition. You are making yourself feel empty, not the world or anything else.

[Lobo]

I don't have a feeling of emptiness and I'm an atheist You give meaning to everything around you, not anything/anyone else. So if you want to give yourself importance, or find a goal that you can realistically attain, it'll be of your own volition. You are making yourself feel empty, not the world or anything else.

I wasn't going for spiritual necessarily with this thread. Also, I don't agree with that last sentence, to me it goes against the concept of being stimulated by the senses. Feeling involves external stimuli. How can I make myself feel empty? or why would I even want to do such a thing?

[Mattie]

I wasn't going for spiritual necessarily with this thread. Also, I don't agree with that last sentence, to me it goes against the concept of being stimulated by the senses. Feeling involves external stimuli. How can I make myself feel empty? or why would I even want to do such a thing?

It's because you assign the value of your external stimuli, and the more or less you value something, in relativity, it will effect you. If you don't value the things you're capable of achieving, then of course you're going to feel crappy. So you either change things to attain the things that have meaning to you, or, you reassign the value of the things you can achieve.

[UDP]

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things.

Since I've developed my spiritual self more and gotten to know God better and such things... I've noticed that my ability to recover from "bad situations" and "bad feelings" has gotten a lot better. Sure bad times still happen, but I feel much more grounded now in my life.

Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things), get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Esp the hugs part.


Also for myself, I have realized that I need to do stuff. I seriously become depressed if I don't do stuff and I'm not involved. My current signature features a quote from Holmes about mental stagnation, and I relate to that, but also physical stagnation - doing things that are productive are good, but also actually physically getting up and doing things. Sometimes when I'm not feeling well and I have to 'sit still' for a while or can't move much, part of the problem is that I'm not moving around and being my usual involved, interactive self. I think that other people are the same way to, to varying degrees. But definitely for me, I have a strong craving for involvement.

[UDP]

It's because you assign the value of your external stimuli, and the more or less you value something, in relativity, it will effect you. If you don't value the things you're capable of achieving, then of course you're going to feel crappy. So you either change things to attain the things that have meaning to you, or, you reassign the value of the things you can achieve.

I think there is some truth to what LTTS is saying. A lot of your own feeling bad about things is simply that... whatever your mindset is, it isn't producing a feeling of positivity. So things need to change.

I'm reminded a little bit of "Habit 1: Be Proactive..."

But even more then that, examining yourself to see how you operate is important.

[Brilliand]

I suggest super-id.

[Beautiful sky]

LOVE is how you fill yourself and others. Without love, compassion, care, kindness, sympathy, friendship, oneness, connecting to the very air around you there is emptiness everywhere.

Love deeply, strongly, binds that don't break easily; arguments that are not cop out to walk away easily.

[crazedrat]

with shitty music like korn and disturbed.

[Suz]

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things. Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things),

My EII sister does that a lot.

get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Ditto to that! hugs and furry animals. Or better yet, hugging furry animals!

[Creepy-female]

with shitty music like korn and disturbed.

[The Greeter]

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

To be completely honest, I try to sleep.

But most of the time, that is not an option, particularly when one wakes up feeling the same way. I'll perhaps disclose the measures I take when I am conscious at a later time.

[Cyrano]

I deal w more anxiety than emptiness, but I definitely have experience w that empty feeling [as all people do, I'd guess]. I wish I had some grand piece of advice to offer, lol, but I don’t. Maybe some older, wiser Delta will come to the rescue of us all. But for now, here’s what occurs to me:

Sometimes thinking of and doing some random nice thing for another person/people helps. Actually, that's probably the one thing that almost always helps.

Painting helps a lot when I'm in those moods, too. I let my mind wander free; my thoughts swirl around for a while as I paint, and I almost always work through things in my head and feel a sense of relief afterward. It's like I keep myself busy w the activity of painting something and thinking about that, and that frees up the rest of my mind/energy to work on whatever problems I'm dealing with.

Walking or running through the forest w my dog is very relaxing to me and helps me focus my thoughts sometimes. I really like to hike up a mountain that’s near my house and then stand at the top and look out at everything stretching out in every direction… kind of helps w perspective. Plus, it’s quite a workout to get up there and endorphins are good things, heh. [BTW If I'm going for a walk/run bc I feel down, I usually don't take my iPod w me; it's better if I don't clutter my mind even more w outside noise.]

Sometimes writing helps when I feel anxious or down. I'll look up quotes on a particular topic, read through them, and take one that resonates w me as a jumping-off point for a journal entry [typed, not hand-written, bc my handwriting is atrocious... also my hands can keep up w my thoughts better if I'm typing].

...

This is why you are Queen of the Deltans. Great advice for all 16 types.

[jewels]

I used to ignore it, and just eat a cookie or get really anxious and try to ignore feeling bad. But now I sit there and ask myself why I feel that way/what I'm really feeling/what I need to do to feel better. And that really helps.

The feelings are just an indication that something is not working for you at your life in that moment, so ignoring it just makes it worse.

I also talk about this stuff w/ a few close peeps and that always helps and usually ends up in an inspiring sort of discussion.

[Creepy-]

This is why you are Queen of the Deltans. Great advice for all 16 types.

Aw, shucks

I used to ignore it, and just eat a cookie or get really anxious and try to ignore feeling bad. But now I sit there and ask myself why I feel that way/what I'm really feeling/what I need to do to feel better. And that really helps.

The feelings are just an indication that something is not working for you at your life in that moment, so ignoring it just makes it worse.


I also talk about this stuff w/ a few close peeps and that always helps and usually ends up in an inspiring sort of discussion.

I relate w this too.

When I'm feeling anxious I often find that it's because something is bothering me but I have pushed it away without taking the time/energy to really understand what is bothering me and why. That's why writing helps me sometimes... actually I'm thinking now of that quote, "How can I know what I think until I see what I say?" I'm pretty sure I'm taking that out of context by relating it here, but it is relevant [to me at least] bc by writing and seeing what comes out I sometimes come to realizations about what's bothering me that I hadn't/might not have otherwise. The trick is taking the time to actually sit down and do it...

[Lobo]

LOVE is how you fill yourself and others. Without love, compassion, care, kindness, sympathy, friendship, oneness, connecting to the very air around you there is emptiness everywhere.

Love deeply, strongly, binds that don't break easily; arguments that are not cop out to walk away easily.

What if it's unrequited love?..

Btw, I like the responses in this thread.

[Beautiful sky]

What if it's unrequited love?..

Btw, I like the responses in this thread.

This is not love for other individuals in a romantic sense; it is unconditional love.

[Lobo]

This is not love for other individuals in a romantic sense; it is unconditional love.

How can you tell the difference?

[Beautiful sky]

How can you tell the difference?

If someone stabs your mom, will you forgive them?

[Beautiful sky]

What if it's your father doing the stabbing?

There would be a period of anger and confusion, but the nature of is such that it always forgives and learns to see from the other person's shoes and that is something that can not be fixed. That is empathetic/unconditional nature of that function.

[Airman]

That´s interesting I didn´t know that Deltas had this problem of feeling chronically empty and I had it since like 10 years old.

Since then, I fill this listening to music, being more empathetic towards other people in general or at least trying so, being in nature alone calm with fresh air and also physical activity - anything that makes me sweat makes me feel good and not so empty afterwards.

But I see emptiness as intrinsic to life, life has no meaning of its own, this is emptiness and it can be very bad to notice this. But there´s also a certain freedom that comes with this lack of meaning or direction.

When I´m not mentally well I fill this with wild 12-hour parties with lots of alcohol (and it used to be xtc), compulsion for food and especially lots of perverted, wild, uncompromised sex usually accompanied by alcohol - this last one is probably an ESTJ thing. When I have a girlfriend I usually end up making her into a lovely sexual object to fill my emptiness. I like to have sex in public places, tell them to go out with me without panties and bras and all sorts of perverted attitudes which I am only telling here because no one knows me anyway.

[Suz]

That´s interesting I didn´t know that Deltas had this problem of feeling chronically empty and I had it since like 10 years old.

Since then, I fill this listening to music, being more empathetic towards other people in general or at least trying so, being in nature alone calm with fresh air and also physical activity - anything that makes me sweat makes me feel good and not so empty afterwards.

But I see emptiness as intrinsic to life, life has no meaning of its own, this is emptiness and it can be very bad to notice this. But there´s also a certain freedom that comes with this lack of meaning or direction.

When I´m not mentally well I fill this with wild 12-hour parties with lots of alcohol (and it used to be xtc), compulsion for food and especially lots of perverted, wild, uncompromised sex usually accompanied by alcohol - this last one is probably an ESTJ thing. When I have a girlfriend I usually end up making her into a lovely sexual object to fill my emptiness. I like to have sex in public places, tell them to go out with me without panties and bras and all sorts of perverted attitudes which I am only telling here because no one knows me anyway.

The bold sounds a lot like the lifestyle of the ISTp I partially dualized with (dont know about all the details such as what you wrote next though). I think it's definitely the Si way to fill emptiness.

[Suz]

There would be a period of anger and confusion, but the nature of is such that it always forgives and learns to see from the other person's shoes and that is something that can not be fixed. That is empathetic/unconditional nature of that function.

Always is a strong word

[Airman]

Workaholics:

Where does Si come in with ISTPs? Isn´t it a shadow function of this type?
As far as I know they´re : 1-Ti 2-Se ...

Interestingly my two closest friends in my xtc-rave-party-days were probably ISTPs, but they are very different... both worked for big software companies, computer geniuses types, and from friday night to sunday evening they kind of transformed into wild animals who took lots of xtc pills. I could never manage to do that. As soon as I started my university course I quit taking xtc and stopped going to those crazy parties - which I doubt was a good idea though because it was lots of fun but anyway I cannot reconcile a normal life with a carreer and a crazy drugged alcoholic weekend.

But they could lead that crazy lifestyle of a sober 9 to 5 (in their case 9 to 7) job at a big company earning very good money with that lack of responsibility in the weekend. I wouldn´t. Most of the weeks I couldn´t get myself out of my bed until wednesday after the weekend. But they were there, like nothing had happened, phoning me on mondays to talk about something and laugh.

[Beautiful sky]

Always is a strong word

ALWAYS ALWAYS!

[Lobo]

If someone stabs your mom, will you forgive them?

Ok, what if you feel like being more intimate with somebody, and said friend doesn't feel the same way? What if said friend just tells you to "deal with it" when you tell said friend that it's hard not to feel that way, and the only way you can think of to deal with the situation is by not remaining in contact?

Uhmm... so yeah, if someone stabs my mom I won't forgive them.

[jewels]

ISTps are so fun, aren't they? I mean, I'm not into drugs or anything, but going out and letting off some steam is always a good idea in my mind.

[Beautiful sky]

Ok, what if you feel like being more intimate with somebody, and said friend doesn't feel the same way? What if said friend just tells you to "deal with it" when you tell said friend that it's hard not to feel that way, and the only way you can think of to deal with the situation is by not remaining in contact?

Uhmm... so yeah, if someone stabs my mom I won't forgive them.

I would be honest and tell that person that I do not have such feelings of intimacy for them, if I did not feel them. Honesty is always best.

To "deal with it"? What?

[Suz]

Workaholics:

Where does Si come in with ISTPs? Isn´t it a shadow function of this type?
As far as I know they´re : 1-Ti 2-Se ...

Interestingly my two closest friends in my xtc-rave-party-days were probably ISTPs, but they are very different... both worked for big software companies, computer geniuses types, and from friday night to sunday evening they kind of transformed into wild animals who took lots of xtc pills. I could never manage to do that. As soon as I started my university course I quit taking xtc and stopped going to those crazy parties - which I doubt was a good idea though because it was lots of fun but anyway I cannot reconcile a normal life with a carreer and a crazy drugged alcoholic weekend.

But they could lead that crazy lifestyle of a sober 9 to 5 (in their case 9 to 7) job at a big company earning very good money with that lack of responsibility in the weekend. I wouldn´t. Most of the weeks I couldn´t get myself out of my bed until wednesday after the weekend. But they were there, like nothing had happened, phoning me on mondays to talk about something and laugh.

uh-oh, UH-OH!! time for you to switch definitively from MBTI to socionics!!

BLASPHEMY! Ti Se is my conflictor!! It's ISTj in socionics.

The ISTPs you know are probably not socionics ISTp's. MBTI type does not translate to socionics (it may coincidentally, but that would just be coincidence). Though I have to say he partied hard but didn't really suffer for it (or so it seemed). . .I dont think he took any hard drugs, he just drinks a lot.

The ISTp (SLI) that I knew probably is an MBTI ESTP.

Anyway so, socionics ISTp is Si Te. Si is their most FAVORITE function