How does delta fill the emptiness inside?

[Lobo]

I would be honest and tell that person that I do not have such feelings of intimacy for them, if I did not feel them. Honesty is always best.

To "deal with it"? What?

Yeah, you were honest with the person about wanting more intimacy, but said person doesn't feel that way about you, and when you tell them that you're going to avoid them because it seems like the only solution, said person doesn't want to stop being your friend so you get the "just deal with it." Ahem... obviously all this hypothetical.

[Suz]

ISTps are so fun, aren't they? I mean, I'm not into drugs or anything, but going out and letting off some steam is always a good idea in my mind.

They are, but unfortunately this guy hung out with a separate circle of friends that I didn't hang out with nor ever got invited to hang out with, so I wouldn't know from personal experience. Was a little jealous of his fun though, but i guess I wouldn't really be able to handle that much fun anyway.

And yes that's exactly what he called it. . .he said it's his release. . .which I dont necessarily understand, because aren't there other better ways besides getting wasted?

[Airman]

Ah that´s interesting Workaholics. Definitely I have to stop reading descriptions of MBTI because it seems to be very different from Socionics.

Well to answer the question more properly, when in a healthy level, a cause would be what best fills the emptiness of life for me personally, whether it be being very good at my job, making lots of money, helping others in some way, or anything which calls for a high degree of devotion to it.

Getting wasted for me is past. Yes it was fun. The two guys I mentioned are probably ISTPs.

I learned how to type a person very quickly from a friend who btw introduced me to this forum but he´s not participating here anymore.

I go by the letters. I or E ? (meaning that I is not always socially introvert it has more to do with the flow of energy, whether the individual expands his energy to the environment or concentrates it in himself). Then, S or N? S types are often more physically connected, more connected to their bodies, but there are other criteria I learnt. Then F or T which I find fairly easy to distinguish (the easiest). And then J or P which I find the hardest according to whether the individual uses more his perceiving or judging function, almost always that means that the individual shows more of that function when relating to others and the world.

So I got I-S-T-P for both of them, although yes one could be ESTP and the other ISTJ. But I doubt an ISTJ would have a 1200cc motorcycle which is now his hobbie after the xtc-rave-party-era to run like a maniac on weekends. This type of irresponsible behavior is more consistent with SP types in my opinion, as they overlook their Thinking which would give them some break and become too intense focusing on their Sensing.

BTW Workaholics I liked your expression 'almost dualized with'.

Maritsa would you 'dualize' with me? :wink:

[Lobo]

I thought your feelings might stem from the area of love somehow. A younger me would have said just move on but an older me knows better and some things are worth fighting for. How much do you love this person? Do you think they love you? Do you love them so much it is beyond words. Is the person your soul mate? Is there any chance they feel that you are their soul mate in return? If so tell them these things that are going on inside you. Tell them how much you love them. Then read the situation. Maybe hearing these things from you will be enough for them to want you, maybe they just aren't ever going to be yours but maybe also they need time out/away from you for a bit to grow and experience life and hopefully to realize just how much they do love you.

The older me recommends leaving the door open . Don't close the door on someone you love though I know that when you are in this kind of situation it's probably easier for you to do (reminder - most other types would leave this door open, sometimes they get things right that we don't).

This is one of those unrequited love cases where I'm having a hard time separating testosterone to actually feeling love. Now that you put it that way, nah, this isn't much worth it. The problem I have though is how can you still be friends once it gets to that point? It seems masochistic to just keep interacting and having these feelings come up again, leading to pain and frustration.

[Beautiful sky]

Maritsa would you 'dualize' with me? :wink:

Yes, I WOULD!!!

[Satan]

Yes, I WOULD!!!

she's easy.

[Beautiful sky]

she's easy.

That's not a nice thing to say, you can't read into my intentions.

[Airman]

Maritsa is not easy, she´s fluffy and feminine.

Lobo, I have had such things happen to me in my life. My little advice is: tell the girl to go to hell or not to bother you anymore or something equivalent to that and start looking for another one. Heaven is full of stars. Don´t get carried away by sad feelings because of one girl who rebukes you. Being rebuked happens a lot, unfortunately life is not totally fair.

And after all, women are all very similar. They´re just women. They cannot be more than that. Unfortunately you will still like them if you don´t turn homosexual (which I sincerely wish you won´t) but you will understand that it doesn´t make much difference if you switch from one girl to another. It´s like drinking beer - just avoid the really bad ones, the rest are all the same with some minor unimportant variations.

[Mattie]

And after all, women are all very similar. They´re just women. They cannot be more than that. Unfortunately you will still like them if you don´t turn homosexual (which I sincerely wish you won´t) but you will understand that it doesn´t make much difference if you switch from one girl to another. It´s like drinking beer - just avoid the really bad ones, the rest are all the same with some minor unimportant variations.

And that's not misogynistic at all lol

[Suz]

Ah that´s interesting Workaholics. Definitely I have to stop reading descriptions of MBTI because it seems to be very different from Socionics.

The two guys I mentioned are probably ISTPs.

Socionics ISTp's or MBTI ISTP's?

I learned how to type a person very quickly from a friend who btw introduced me to this forum but he´s not participating here anymore.

I go by the letters. I or E ? (meaning that I is not always socially introvert it has more to do with the flow of energy, whether the individual expands his energy to the environment or concentrates it in himself). Then, S or N? S types are often more physically connected, more connected to their bodies, but there are other criteria I learnt. Then F or T which I find fairly easy to distinguish (the easiest). And then J or P which I find the hardest according to whether the individual uses more his perceiving or judging function, almost always that means that the individual shows more of that function when relating to others and the world.

My typing skills are getting better but i can't say i'm an expert, however, your typing method still seems rooted in MBTI. In socionics, type depends on the order of the functions. So in determining introversion vs extraversion you have to see which function someone uses the most, though that can be tricky because you can't always "see" a primary introverted function, so you end up seeing the creative extraverted function. But I guess the distinction would be whether the person uses the extraverted function in service to some other function or whether the extraverted function is the dominant one.

For example, SLI "almost dualized" guy vs an LSE boss I had a few years ago

Si Te versus Te Si:

SLI guy at work was very hardworking, organized, practical, great at presenting information, and detailed despite being quick. . However, he did all this with a primary objective of getting done with work and going out and having a good time ( in creative service to primary ). While he worked, he was also constantly texting with friends. Getting the work done was a means to get to the Si end.

LSE boss was also very hardworking, organized, practical, excellent speaker, very prolific in his work. again right? Here's the difference: LSE boss was a workaholic, a researcher, passionate about his career. His wife had to call him at work on many evenings, asking him when he is coming home (he would get to work at like 6 am). Once I got to participate in some big procedure with LSE boss on a patient, relatively early in the morning (like maybe 7 or 8 am), and the patient asked LSE boss, "how do you manage being awake this early?" LSE boss says, "I go to bed early!" ( in creative service to ) Getting a good night's sleep was a means to allow optimal functioning of .

That is pretty much how I can be sure of their types. Obviously I need to know someone relatively well and have enough clues about them to type this way. None of that N vs S, T vs F business. Te is different from Ti. Se can look like Te, Ni is different from Ne, Si is way WAY different from Se.

HOWEVER, that said. . . I do think there are certain VI clues in which you can make some such comparisons (not quite sure yet in my own experience):

S types tend to carry their bodies well. They are never clumsy.

N types tend to have trouble knowing their body positioning in space. They tend to have clumsy moments, fumble, often end up carrying too much, or in some precarious way, drop things. (I'm describing myself btw). Gait & sitting position can be a little awkward, but not necessarily. (what I can say is if I see someone walking awkwardly, I know that person is not an S-type).

E vs I, sometimes you can tell by looking at their eyes. Do the eyes pop out at you? if so likely extravert. If the eyes look involuted, sort of dreamy (for lack of a better descriptor), likely intravert.

Fe vs Fi, you can sometimes tell by the gaze as well. In the view of an Fi-valuing person, Fe eyes look empty in comparison to Fi eyes which seem full of feeling.

p vs j. . .i'm not sure how to differentiate those. . .basically I say figure out the first 2 functions and then you can see whether it's a p-type or a j-type.

Oh the other thing that helps me type is trying to figure out a person's hidden agenda.:[/QUOTE]

BTW Workaholics I liked your expression 'almost dualized with'.

Maritsa would you 'dualize' with me? :wink:

Well what I was referring to is a long story that I'm sure people here are TIRED of me repeating over and over. I happened to read your story as well, with the EII girl at your university. Well to make a long story short, pretty much the same thing happened between me and this SLI guy. I believe it was duality and dualization. Unfortunately I had to relocate to a different city right in the middle of things. And to make things even worse, he got himself a girlfriend like 2 months after I moved away, some girl (possible SLE from the few clues I gathered) whom he met at work just a couple weeks before he made the relationship public.

Dualization with your dual is a phenomenon, but if it cant materialize it's a source of immense sorrow and emptiness.

[UDP]

Maritsa is not easy, she´s fluffy and feminine.

Lobo, I have had such things happen to me in my life. My little advice is: tell the girl to go to hell or not to bother you anymore or something equivalent to that and start looking for another one. Heaven is full of stars. Don´t get carried away by sad feelings because of one girl who rebukes you. Being rebuked happens a lot, unfortunately life is not totally fair.

And after all, women are all very similar. They´re just women. They cannot be more than that. Unfortunately you will still like them if you don´t turn homosexual (which I sincerely wish you won´t) but you will understand that it doesn´t make much difference if you switch from one girl to another. It´s like drinking beer - just avoid the really bad ones, the rest are all the same with some minor unimportant variations.

Yeah, you and maritsa are ripe for dualizing . . .

[Marie84]

I usually reflect on what is bothering me and think about how I can improve the situation; retaining feelings of self-pity and melancholy is not something I usually do, since I know that it won't help me get out of said negative state.

Overall, I find that doing something that's outside of myself makes me feel more fulfilled, whether it be doing or saying something nice to someone to brighten their day or/and use the wallowing time to work on something like cleaning or what not. Generally I find that I only feel unfulfilled when I'm being overly introspective, so I suppose when I'm not "in my head" I feel more purpose in life, and thus accomplish more

[jewels]

I'm definitely noticing a theme of doing nice things for others in this thread.

I know that really helps me.

I was in a huge slump today and this old lady at a store I was shopping at asked me to get some items down for her (she was short). And then she said how everyone in her family is tall except for her. It really cheered me up. I think she was actually an old IEE because she asked in a not very demanding way. Like "Do you know if that one way up there is purple like this one is?" It was cute

[Airman]

Thank you for the clues and comments, Workaholics.

I´m in doubt about my type so I´m going to post a picture in the VI topic to see what people think about my type.

[Simon Ssmall]

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

Whatever I did it did not bring me happiness so I do not think I know the right answer. I tried travels, I tried dating women just to distract myself. First didn't work after a quite short period, second brought quite shitty results (hurting people).

Although the second thing actually solved the problem eventually, I guess I just found the right person (At least I think so now), so I do not feel empty anymore. I think my life makes perfect sense and I have a direction which I can follow without distractions and feelings of emptiness or loneliness.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

I usually just try to ignore it.

And sometime get drunk.

It can be good to know someone who feels a bit fed up with w/e and also knows to laugh about it at same time.

I remember for a while not having much money, and my friend was in same boat, we would laugh at our situation by mutually complaining about it, then saying, "well, at least we're rich in spirit" and laugh it off.

I also enjoy going away for the day, doing something different, exercise is good to aleviate these things.

And yes that's exactly what he called it. . .he said it's his release. . .which I dont necessarily understand, because aren't there other better ways besides getting wasted?

Such as?

This is one of those unrequited love cases where I'm having a hard time separating testosterone to actually feeling love. Now that you put it that way, nah, this isn't much worth it. The problem I have though is how can you still be friends once it gets to that point? It seems masochistic to just keep interacting and having these feelings come up again, leading to pain and frustration.

Women, can't live with, can't live without.

In regards to friends, I too find it difficult once it reaches that stage, however, I suppose it's easier nowadays with emails and facebooks and what have you.

[somavision]

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

Focus on what is required to fill that emptiness, not on specifics, but general things. If it is love, focus on finding a true love that brings mutual happiness and enriches the soul. That focus can help draw you away from damaging situations and guide you to where you need to go.

close your eyes and forget the details and ask yourself in the simplest terms "what is it I need to fill my soul with joy"
Ifa person appears as the answer, ask yourself what it is about that person. Is it something real, or is it part of a fantasy? break down the things that you like, work out what is real and what's projected.
Ask yourself other questions, find out what else in your life is unsatisfactory, choose your path and march, march towards joy, and bliss and all the shiny good things in the world.

It won't make things better straight away, however by focusing on what you realistically need, it can help you see past narrow infatuations, enrich your spirit and give fresh purpose.

This is one of those unrequited love cases where I'm having a hard time separating testosterone to actually feeling love. Now that you put it that way, nah, this isn't much worth it. The problem I have though is how can you still be friends once it gets to that point? It seems masochistic to just keep interacting and having these feelings come up again, leading to pain and frustration.

Back away, if you are meant to be friends in future you will be.

[Lobo]

Back away, if you are meant to be friends in future you will be.

The thing is this happened before and now is happening again. I'm seeing a pattern here. It seems too wishful to think that we can be friends without me getting those feelings again. Well, unless I get a gf or something.

[Airman]

Workaholics:the guys I said that used to go to rave parties and take xtc with me are socionics ISTPs very probably.

thanks a lot for taking me away from that irritating MBTI thing and bringing some light to my understanding. now I´m reading only socionics sources.

and yes I think this stuff about dualization is too intense, too emotionally-charged perhaps that´s why I´ve never had an INFJ girlfriend or even date as far as I remember and only now this one INFJ girl popped up again. If it is not materialized, or if it fails at a certain point, the emotional stress is too much. I don´t know if it´s worth.

[Absurd]

Workaholics:the guys I said that used to go to rave parties and take xtc with me are socionics ISTPs very probably.

Haha. Wankers.

[The Greeter]

I'm definitely noticing a theme of doing nice things for others in this thread.

I know that really helps me.

Great observation and, actually it is how I deal with the emptiness. In fact, I usually feel empty when I think I am not doing enough...

Sometimes, I think that my personal psychological constitution will inevitably collapse. But I know I have people who will be there for me.

Also, I am very happy with all the responses.

[Suz]

I thought this was a nice video about unrequited love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_3D_6HLn34]YouTube - Aragorn/Éowyn - Unrequited Love

Sorry I just had a chance to view it. I liked it as well.

It seems to be, in particular, Fi-valuing and Fe-disvaluing unrequited love, no?

[Suz]

I usually just try to ignore it.

And sometime get drunk.

ok so this is an SLI thing, for sure.

It can be good to know someone who feels a bit fed up with w/e and also knows to laugh about it at same time.

I remember for a while not having much money, and my friend was in same boat, we would laugh at our situation by mutually complaining about it, then saying, "well, at least we're rich in spirit" and laugh it off.

this!

I also enjoy going away for the day, doing something different, exercise is good to aleviate these things.

The SLI I knew did such things all the time. When he has free weekends he used to drive out to a different city where his long-time friends are and visit/party/etc. I was really impressed by how he was able to do this, because I would seriously burn out, especially back when i was working really hard. I need to recuperate after traveling (maybe because I can only sleep well in my own bed).

Such as?

Sigh. . .you tell me! You're the one with primary Si!! Personally, I find massages nice, exercise like you mentioned, going out dancing (no substances necessary, maybe caffiene if anything). Watching a nice long indian movie that touches my heart and makes me cry. My favorite is going apple (or other fruit) picking, or walking in nature, or experiencing the beach. I just need to find time to actually do those things!

But i dont know. . .I've never been drunk before so maybe I just am oblivious to what you're referring to.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

Sigh. . .you tell me! You're the one with primary Si!! Personally, I find massages nice, exercise like you mentioned, going out dancing (no substances necessary, maybe caffiene if anything). Watching a nice long indian movie that touches my heart and makes me cry. My favorite is going apple (or other fruit) picking, or walking in nature, or experiencing the beach. I just need to find time to actually do those things!

I think I know what it is, but i'm feeling secretive, however, if it all works out, i'll report back to you.

[UDP]

helping out humanitarian causes is nice.

It's not so much emptiness as it is a vagueness or un-motivation-ness. It's probably related to being able to effectively DO or work towards something, some sort of progress or responsibility or needto be taken care of or met.

[Slacker]

Lobo - get out there and date other people. Meet people. Be among people and talk to them. I met my husband on the rebound, when I was feeling really down and thinking I'd be alone forever. You never know when something good will happen. The only thing for sure is that you have to be out there in the world to meet someone else.

[Lobo]

helping out humanitarian causes is nice.

It's not so much emptiness as it is a vagueness or un-motivation-ness. It's probably related to being able to effectively DO or work towards something, some sort of progress or responsibility or needto be taken care of or met.

Hmm, well, I do have certain responsibilities that need to be taken care of.

Lobo - get out there and date other people. Meet people. Be among people and talk to them. I met my husband on the rebound, when I was feeling really down and thinking I'd be alone forever. You never know when something good will happen. The only thing for sure is that you have to be out there in the world to meet someone else.

Yeah, I'm all for meeting new people. I just have to put in the extra work in putting myself out there.

[Suz]

Lobo - get out there and date other people. Meet people. Be among people and talk to them. I met my husband on the rebound, when I was feeling really down and thinking I'd be alone forever. You never know when something good will happen. The only thing for sure is that you have to be out there in the world to meet someone else.

hmm sounds like advice for me too. . .

[UDP]

group hug

[UDP]

Yeah you should all get your butts out there, get involved in groups of people that you like, be it dancing, church groups, humanitarian causes, etc.

[munenori2]

LET'S GET PISS DRUNK!

[Creepy-female]

I AM SPARTACUS!

[Brilliand]

FEAR THE FUTON!

[munenori2]

WOOOOOOOOOO!!

[Brilliand]

I AM NOT A GOAT!

[Creepy-female]

THE ROMANS

[Brilliand]

YOU SKIPPED A STEP

[Creepy-female]

??

[munenori2]

I IS SPARTACUS?

[Creepy-female]

I GET TO BE SPARTACUS OR I QUIT. SPARTACUS SPARTACUS SPARTACUS