By the way,
if maritsa is an EII, this is 'something I don't like about my duals'
By the way,
if maritsa is an EII, this is 'something I don't like about my duals'
I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing for usOriginally Posted by Cyrano
hehe, yeah, I was thinking the same thing.I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing for us
1. Abbie, not all EIIs are wimps!Yes I am gentle by default, but by God I can be a tasmanian devil when the situation calls for energy, physicality and/or "tough love" (thanks to ESI mom for this). The important thing is that whatever happens I will ensure that the dignity of all is carefully maintained, and that no relationships are harmed in the process.
2. EIIs not funny?!? Dear God, if only you could spend a day in the life of moi. My students can hardly get any work done sometimes with all the dry one-liners ricocheting around the room.
EII - Ne
5w6 sp/so/sx
I'm not saying you should "get with a loser". I am saying that beneath the whole external package of smart, whatever, whatever, that there's a dynamic of working together and being yourself that just works better with dual pairs. I've had a share of long term relationships and have taken time to look at things objectively, to see my reflection in the relationships I have been in and to see how I have grown from them and what lessons about me in others that I have to share. I think it's nice to recognize your duals and not only to jump into a relationship with the first "nice" person we come accross; I took that road and I know behind the exterior of individual "niceness" there's a working of the mind that can not be removed from that individual.
This working presents frustrations in picking out paint, as an example. My cousin Osik is married to a really nice SLI, and yeah sure, they get along and travel, have a lot of things in common, and kind of spend life together until they die...but, when I looked at their relationship from my view, I think if I were your man I would do this and that not that, but this. I see how she and I would be different. I am not sure if that's "better" or "best"; I do see it as less stressful more fun, and more entertaining.
People don't see that they are not getting the right kind of support and the level of attention they need from non duals until they are in a relationship with someone who does not give them the right kind.
I want to marry someone I fall in love with, who is my dual.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-29-2010 at 06:39 AM.
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Maritsa being EII is something you don't like? Well I'm sorry if I am one, I can't help what I am.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-28-2010 at 07:49 PM.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
~world ends~
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
I was referring to your over-focusing on socionics theory as the key to having a good /successful relationship.
My comment wasn't saying that if you are EII, that is something I don't like about EIIs.
dont lie to her ryu
<_<
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" isand not
Actually, it pretty much did sound like that's what you were saying... and I'd be a little upset about it if I were her, too.
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
Falling in love and getting the feeling that the person is the person that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, that meant-to-be feeling is also very important to me. I am not closing myself off to the person I get that feeling for. I have trust that I am able to read people better and I am not as willing to "fall" for someone I have superficial feelings for either.
I am looking at the whole picture. Socionics has just become a very important and an enlightening element of the experiance. I still want to fall in love. I am using socionics as a chip in my decision making process for the long term.
Why are you on my case about this? I don't want to argue with you about this. I have seen plenty of failed pairings outside of Socionics and now that most have been typed, it sheds a lot of light about the characters/traits/personalities of the individuals involved in those relationships. As I said, I am very happy with dual experiances in my life (with my dual friend and my cousin) and whatever turns out will be just fine...I have full hope in how the future will play out. Socionics has explained a lot.
I can focus on whatever I want in terms of having a good/successful relationship. If you want to help me understand things from a male perspective, that would be very interesting. If not, then you don't have to and I won't ask any more.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
even if that was what he was saying, which Im not saying it was, it would be a perfectly valid statement on his part. she exemplifies many negative qualities fueled by her delusion; giving her sympathy isnt going to help her realize any of this. cushioning it up how your doing now is just going to give her the OK signal to go on and be rude to other people again; like she was with you.
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is
Why don't you ever comment on something that I am not commenting on? You follow me around and post things against me, what is your problem? If I am your problem then leave me alone and ignor me.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Maritsa, your new avatar makes me hungry.
EII - Ne
5w6 sp/so/sx
I was just corroborating her interpretation and saying how I'd feel in her place, not necessarily making a judgment call on Ryu's statement.
However, now that you mention it - Just because I may not like her, just because she's been unkind to me, just because I've been upset with her, does not mean I think she should be treated like dirt all the time. She's a person, a thinking, breathing, feeling person, much like yourself in many respects. (And even more like myself, I suspect, though she may never want to admit it.) And I think that while the content of your arguments against her have merit, the way you've presented them has been overly harsh and demeaning. In my opinion.
Sure, me trying to be fair toward her may have no effect at all, or even, as you predict, encourage her to keep on treating people with disregard. But - and this may be strange or laughable or whatever to you - I do feel a certain need to be, well, fair.
So, thanks for your concern, but... please allow me to be nice, if I so choose.
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
I am "on your case about it" because I feel like whenever we talk about things you keep going back to how socionics is the only factor that influences anything. (And yes, the harsher nature of that post has to do with agitation about you clinging to seeing things your way)
Now, within the last few days, you seem to be showing more openness to other factors actually having influence on relationships. Which is a good sign, I guess, if you really believe such.
I'm particularly "on your case" about it because you made a comment at one point about how you used to avoid people who treated you poorly, but since socionics, you saw some of those people as LSE and as such seemed more inclined to put up or go out with them because "they are your dual" and duality therefore that alone will make things work. I do not agree with that, and I surely hope, for your own well being, you do avoid those people even if they are "your dual".
PS: also, part of the reason I'm being persistent about this is because you asked me for my advice about things and about LSEs/relationships - what I'm saying and the points I'm making are an integral part of my advice.
ISTps are sociopaths this is a true fact
Also please don't argue with maritsa here, too much clutter that this thread doesn't need.
Agreed.
Conversations with Maritsa go here
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
fair enough =)
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is
Maybe I just had the misfortune to spend more time around the less-funny ones.
I see what you are saying. With SLIs I tend to have an issue with not being able to gauge where we stand based on their feedback (or lack thereof hehe). It's like I have to do detective work at times to guesstimate what's going on inside. The up-side is that you get better at it with time, and you develop a form of communication without saying anything explicitly, there's less of the drama that might go on by having to say to the other person that you appreciate them so often. The downside is that I don't find this to be an efficient way to deal with how uncomfortable it might be to express feelings/sentiments, and whenever something is unnecessarily tiresome I get cranky and frustrated. With duals it's a different story, and different issues... My point is that this a confusing thing for me to compare, and use what to compare since it's a different nature. Duals tend to intimidate me more than activity also.
everything.
anything.
all of it.
I wish there were a few nice ones, in the real world, who are not related to me, and so don't need to feel obliged to be a part of the relationship or the bond.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-29-2010 at 09:58 PM.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Your duals are all horrible?
LII-Ne
"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
- Blair Houghton
Johari
I realize that that duality isn't perfect and you won't get along with every dual, but if you dislike them all maybe it's time to wonder about those typing skills...Your duals are all horrible?
You already know what I think about this.
Stan is not my real name.
I'm one of those generally unfunny INFjs. Sorry, Abbie.
And, stanprollyright is... prolly right...
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
My typing skills are great, the person is the challenge.
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
This basically undermines everything in socionics. Duality isn't magically perfect, that's why this thread exists, but if you think that lowly of your dual you are either a) grossly exaggerating or b) dealing with a type other than your dual.
Stan is not my real name.
A. and having an emotionally bad day
Dual type
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
That makes a lot more sense. Give it another go when you're having a better day.
Stan is not my real name.
Uh, this is the same for NeFi relating with SiTe
How do you feel about LSEs?Uh, this is the same for NeFi relating with SiTe
I don't know too much about TeSi men, but I've had friendships with a crap-load of TeSi women. All of them are awesome, though it seems like we're together just to be in each other's company, only because we know we work well together rather than having common interests. We slip into a relationship of silent obligation rather than adventure, like I do with SiTe. But if I was to base a relationship with a male TeSi, I would think talking about feelings and the status of the relationship would be much easier. TeSi can still be avoidant when it comes to certain things, because they want to wait until they are ready but if I ever bring something up, they usually don't shut me down, they are ambiguous at their worst, but usually don't want to leave with things unresolved. SiTe is a constant guessing game because it's like they only speak of their feelings at the moment, and it's almost like they are continuously evolving, so the next day, it might be different.
the good ones are pure awesome. The bad ones make me cringe. Some of the are hokey, scared men. I find myself overall less bothered with female LSEs. Men can be very conservative cavemen, or, the E1 or E6 variety, seem particularly insecure in some form or another, and it permeates through them in an unappealing way.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Yeah I was going to say the same exact thing. I think the difference from EII might be that deep down NeFi does perceive SiTe's feelings, but NeFi mistrusts and second guesses that gut feeling. So the end result is the same in not knowing where NeFi stands with SiTe.Uh, this is the same for NeFi relating with SiTe
But it's not the oblivious kind of not knowing. It's the maybe, maybe not kind of not knowing.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
But us IEEs are also constantly evolving and changing our minds too, right? Based on them changing their minds? I know if a relationship changes, I re-access pretty fast.
I've talked about feelings/status of the relationship to a huge extend w/ my SLI, though I think LSEs probably bring that stuff up or maybe welcome it more, I think this SLI probably liked knowing where I stood. Though, I've also known SLIs who purposefully avoid any of that because they want to keep you guessing.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
Yeah, that's true, my mind is constantly updating on the fly, so I guess it's just a direct challenge when you're used to people being more static
Either way, it might be something to get used to. I'm used to Alpha and Gamma men being attracted to me, so SiTe and TeSi are completely new and interesting animals in the relationship arena.
Assuming Fe-PoLR and Fi-HA are what causes it, I'd rather say they don't want to reveal themselves too much and risk being hurt.
Their utter cluelessness about their sexuality is both rather appealing and sometimes problematic.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
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