In this thread, there was an interesting discussion on the stages that Duality goes through, and I'm interested in looking at it from a specifically Alpha angle. For those of you who have had experience with some or all of these stages of Dualization, in what order did they play out, and in what way? I'm curious if there's any consistent pattern for the different types and dual pairs, as the article suggests. I'm especially interested in getting an ESE perspective on this, if there happens to be any of them hanging around here, say after having returned from a long absence...
I'll post my own (somewhat limited) experiences below.
In my experience, from a distance the ESE appears admirable and fun, but too busy and popular to pay any attention to me. After interacting a bit, however, the first stage to appear is Stage 3 -- a strange feeling of safety, like this person is "on my side". I feel like I know and understand this person in a way that nobody else seems to. I've never had the "Where do I know you from" feeling of confusion that Stage 2 describes, but there is this peculiar feeling of understanding -- like I can just glance at this person and know what she's thinking, or if she's struggling to explain something, I immediately understand and can finish explaining for her. There's this subtle "us against the world" feeling, well before the relationship is remotely close enough to warrant it.
The next stage to appear, I think, is Stage 7, the leveling of Dual energy. This seems to happen after somewhat longer periods of one-on-one or mostly one-on-one interaction, say 5-10 minutes or more. It's this relaxed feeling of calmness and stillness, where I no longer feel internally stretched and drained from the stress of social interaction and Super-Ego-related worry. I feel stronger and more able to take on the world.
This is followed naturally by Stage 5, the feeling of internal joy. I've reached this stage with only two of the four ESEs under consideration. It's pretty great. I've been known to dance a jig afterwards.
Somewhere in there, Stage 1 occurs -- the sensation of a necessity to meet again. It's subtle at first, but it grows stronger and stronger, until eventually, at some point after the internal joy thing, it turns into Stage 4, the feeling of the "impossibility" of being separated even for a short time. I've experienced this with only one ESE, and it's been quite unpleasant, as the feeling of separation being impossible even for a short time does not actually prevent separation, even for a long time. Also, despite what the article says, it seems that this "impossibility" is not necessarily simultaneous or equal in both duals. Ah, woe is me.
I haven't really experienced stages 6 or 8 in any significant way, so far.
So yeah, I'm particularly interested in how ESEs experience all this, since as an LII I find it nearly impossible to tell what other people are really feeling. I'm also interested in how ILE and SEI experiences compare -- while there's obviously a personal element to my interest in all this, I am also genuinely interested in the underlying mechanisms. So what say you?