Results 1 to 36 of 36

Thread: slightly sadistic people and is it type related?

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    he died with a felafel
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    325
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default slightly sadistic people and is it type related..?

    *this little piggy had roast beef*
    Last edited by felafel; 12-17-2010 at 03:24 AM.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    it's Fe yeah. what else do you want to know?

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    hi - why would Fe bother with this? It's quite ridiculous, not funny, and at times could take the form of very clear bullying.
    I can't answer that since I don't know what the name was and I don't know the person who the name was given to...

    Entertainment I get out of calling people absurd names comes from the names being absurd, combined with the people reacting in a serious manner. (The idea of people reacting to something so absurd is amusing). There's an IEI on here I call "space plankton". He gets pissed off, and it makes me laugh. There's also another person on here I call "discoblow". I call him that because he blows, clear and simple. (He is also sort of trashy in a cocaine related way). In that case, I'm just expressing myself.
    Not really so different from what you're doing in this thread - expressing your emotions. Think of it like that, except it's compacted into a single name which I can brand you with every time I see you in order to let it be known exactly how I feel about you.

    So yeah.. in order to know why she calls you that name, I'd have to know the name and then I'd have to know you. Might need to know her, too.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-08-2010 at 10:52 PM.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    interesting pov, thanks for your input. it's not a specific question about this particular name-calling. It's more of a general question re: why Fe would be used in such way, generally speaking. At any rate...when you say "in order to let it be known how i feel about you" does this imply your feelings about someone are always constant: you'll always call this person you mention space plankton because....you assume he'll find it annoying each and every time you do..? what happens if he decides to ignore you calling him/her that? Does the way you feel about this person change?

    Also - why is it important to you to let people know how you feel about them? See, sth like that would just be redundant to my mind in the sense that i think why should anyone give a rat's ass how i or other people feel about them? I look at it this way: so, someone feels this way about a 3rd person - ok, but who gives a fuck about that, the earth keeps doing its thing, gravity does its thing, in general life goes on punctuated by people's daily defecation and other such things..Anyway, not sure if i'm explaining myself clearly here, i'm tired. cheers
    letting it be known how you feel establishes clear boundaries and a code of conduct. It is basically an attempt to control a social situation. If you're asking me why people attempt to control social situations: well.. I duno, why do we do anything? Why do we attempt to understand what is happening around us?

    The feelings about the person as a whole don't remain constant, but the feelings centered around the name and the reasons I gave him the name in the first place are distinct from the feelings I have for the person as a whole. Sometimes if the name comes from a place close to heart where it represents how I feel about the person altogether; i.e. discoblow (who is a cunt)... I would change the name if I had a change of heart for discojoe. But that is very unlikely. So the name also carries a certain weight to it, which varies. There is also that I typically won't change how I feel about a person unless they demonstrate a good reason for me to. How I feel about them is derived from their patterns of behavior; in order for me to change how I felt about them, they would have to change their patterns of behavior. (That is unlikely). Changing patterns of behavior is different than literally changing behavior. Like if a person decided to start ignoring me, where before they were reacting to me, I would consider that consistent with their tendency to struggle for power. So the patterns are abstract notions less related to literal behavior and more related to their consequences.

    If he started ignoring me I would either keep calling him it because I was still amused by knowing he is deliberately ignoring me.. which is still another form of a reaction.. that or I would stop calling him the name if I thought he was legitimately no longer giving a shit. I also might stop calling him it if I liked him enough not to want to piss him off, and he was getting truly pissed off. (But usually the names I choose will not truly piss you off, unless I am trying to truly piss you off or you are too sensitive; in which case I'll keep calling you the name to teach you to be less sensitive)

    There are also cases where I have called people names behind their back in the presence of other people, and this was very entertaining. In these cases I didn't like something about the people but couldn't seem to show them naturally in their presence (Although I do this much less nowdays, because I have started to favor destroying dysfunctional relationships entirely over changing myself or my behavior to fit the relationship). In those times I am simply letting off the tension I felt having been around you and not able to express myself naturally. And sometimes I will get carried away with it; overly entertained.. and end up seeing how far I can push the boundaries of releasing tension, as if it's some kind of massive release of my lifes repression. In those cases I think it's possible a person is associating parts of their past with you and then releasing a massive weight of emotional baggage by telling you off.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-09-2010 at 04:01 AM.

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It is the relationship Fe has with Ni and Ti.

  6. #6
    Creepy-Cyclops

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also - this clearly bothers me and would like to be able to find some way to counter this behavior without loosing this friendship. any thoughts?
    Perhaps you could just think of it as general banter and not read much more into it.

    I've noticed that there are some people that come up with nicknames for others, like they do it for almost everyone.

    As Oscar Wilde said, "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about".

    So at least you are making some impression.

    Other than that don't know what to do, unless you can force yourself to ask her on a one to one to stop it as it bothers you.

  7. #7
    Creepy-Cyclops

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    hi cyclops - i guess i don't understand what they get out of this...i can see they entertain themselves that way, but why not find some other way? Once i understand better, maybe then i would be able to tolerate/ignore it best..Any thoughts?
    I don't understand it either. My experience is that men do it for playful banter, sometimes half playful half serious, and women mostly just do it to be bitchy, or small minded.

    The question then could be, why be bitchy, or small minded? I don't know, just the way some people are. I just laugh it off and not show that it bothers me.

    Or what they get out of it? To be small minded (which in my opinion, although it's not a good thing, is at least slightly more excusable than being bitchy, because I suppose it's done with a certain amount of ignorance).

    Sorry if that isn't much help, i'm somewhat in the dark with it also.

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    /
    Posts
    7,038
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'd probably just stop hanging out with her.

  9. #9
    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,072
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    lol. Yes, that seems to be Fe related. I don't think it's something that you're going to be able to fix, because yes, if someone confronted me about giving them a mildly derisive nickname, I would either out loud or internally find them a poor sport.

    Here's an example of how I see something like this: I have three friends (ILE, EIE, and IEI) and the ILE and the EIE occasionally refer to the IEI as "soft head baby [his name]." It's a form of gentle ribbing, especially used when the IEI is getting over emotional about something (which he does occasionally), and it's mildly annoying to the IEI, I suppose, but I think he also sees the degree to which, while it is a term of derision, it is also a term of endearment. Maybe term of endearment + derision doesn't really work for Fi-types, in general?

    But then again, maybe your friend is just being a jerk/immature and should leave it alone. Or maybe it's one of those things where the nature of your friendship is such that one will have to deal with the other's preferences. You could probably confront the person and get her to stop, and then she'd have to deal with your preferences. She'd be annoyed, just like you're annoyed by her calling you names, but she'd deal with it, I'm sure. There's my two cents.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

  10. #10
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola aka Bee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    TIM
    Meat Popsicle
    Posts
    3,566
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I do this.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  11. #11

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    1,833
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yeah it's easy to say "what's the big deal? It's just a silly name." But that's totally missing the point.

    It is mean and it's done in a typical girl clique way. There's a lot underlying that comment.

    Girls do that verbal kind of thing to be jerks, where as guys fight to be jerks. It's a way for her to get the other girls rallied against "melinda" (otherwise she'd do it to her face).

    Girls do that to 1) secure their own position in the clique (by either being the "leader" girl who identifies the "problem girl" to make fun of, or the followers who will go along with it, in hopes they won't be made fun of/kicked out of the clique themselves.

    It's something that happens with very insecure girls because it makes them feel powerful. Just like with bullies who beat up other guys. But this is done verbally and it affects your social position.

    I've seen this happen in several groups of girls from elementary school onto now. Luckily, I was never ousted, but I saw what happened to the girls who were, and decided to never again be a part of that.

    The interesting thing is, if you don't care about your position in the clique (let's say you have other groups of friends, etc.), then they don't have the power over you. They'll sense that and start to worry about their own position, as perhaps you'll be the one to be "leader" and be nicer to you. But it'd be better just to get rid of these friends as they clearly suck. It's a very middle school situation and why put up w/ negativity like that?
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    /
    Posts
    7,038
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't really understand this example. Is it that she's making fun of you behind your back to get laughs from other people as though she doesn't really respect you (and perhaps in general does this with everyone she knows, in which case maybe it's just an off way of expressing affection)? Is it just calling you a different name behind your back, or does she also say other things? Does she like you or not? Is she a "peripheral friend" who's closer to an acquaintance and it's some kind of group thing, or a closer friend? (I think the part that I found kind of weird is that this has been going on for years... as in, wouldn't it get old?)

  13. #13
    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,072
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I love watching beta vs. delta interpretations of the same event. Not only the interpretations, but the difference in response, language and everything.

    Also, it doesn't need to have a connection. The connection can just be that you mentioned the name once. It's associated with you.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

  14. #14
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yeah that's why I found it interesting too, silver. (Not because I really care about the whiny girl attempting to underhandedly bash the function Fe.)

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It doesn't matter to me if you started this thread. It's my thread now. And I order you to shutup. I am your superior, and you WILL obey me.

  16. #16
    Creepy-Cyclops

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also, no one seems to address whether this is type-related...? it was, after all, one of the questions i asked.
    I think it is to an extent, but there is always variances in the complexity of people to consider.

    I'll go so far to say it's not something that an ISTp particular likes (I take you are ISTp from what you've been saying).

  17. #17
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also, no one seems to address whether this is type-related...? it was, after all, one of the questions i asked.
    Are you feigning stupidity now? Do you think a long detailed explanation on Fe as it pertains to Ni and Ti might imply it is associated with Beta? (Yes). Do you think numerous Betas speaking up and saying they do the same thing might imply it's associated with Beta? (Yes). Why do you insist on asking questions when the answer is right in front of you?

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    what? the way it works in here is, if you wanna bull about your own interpretations is you start your own thread. your feedback is useless at this point so far off-track it is; if you're confused, read my first post. @jessica, you too included, i don't see what you think you're contributing with your one-liner. if you really really have 5 words to say that are of no use to no one, just start your own thread.
    Alright Yoda, listen. Don't tell me how it works in here. This forum is my pissing grounds.
    Now you tell me I'm confused about the functions? I gave you a extensive explanation of not only how the name branding is related to Fe, but also how it's particularly related to Fe blocked with Ni and associated with Ti. You didn't understand this part, and then you had the dumb arrogance to tell me I was wrong. (A knee jerk reaction of someone who's in over their head). No, you are wrong. You should be grateful I took the time to give you such expert feedback on this stupid question. (Anyone who knows enough about the functions can answer this question on their own)
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-10-2010 at 06:45 PM.

  18. #18
    EffyCold thePirate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    TIM
    ??
    Posts
    1,883
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I really think your just being overly sensitive, maybe not even type related as I know estjs who do shit like this.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

  19. #19
    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,072
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    crazed, I don't know why I once found this exact behavior irritating, but now find it very much endearing and entertaining. Probably because it is not currently directed at me. And also maybe since you've figured out that you're IEI, you feel free to be even more over-the-top with it, and I love over-the-top. (also you're probably right... but you're also somewhat wrong in the way that IEIs normally are, but also you're probably right. IEIs tend to cut to what seems to the be the core of the issue, and are usually right about this, but the non-core stuff does sorta count. Sometimes. Maybe.)

    felafel, the girl you're dealing with is a likely EIE, but we (obviously) can't type her based on this one incident. I'm sure people would be glad to try to type her with some more information and possibly some pictures (you know, so I can analyze the curvature of her spine and the length of her head muscles, etc). Also, you could probably stand to be a bit more open-minded about what constitutes not only a response that could be useful to you, but also what constitutes a response that is appropriate for an internet forum of free discussion.

    Also, also, agreed with crazed, editing posts is much better than double posting. However, one point on your side is that crazed, over the course of this thread, assigned you two different polrs (Ti and Fe). (sorry crazed, I'm sure you just changed your mind, but reading through the thread, it was a little funny).

    EDIT: Also lol + win @diana for calling her Melinda. I kinda wanna call felafel Melinda now too...
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

  20. #20
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,848
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    yeah I thought ENFp until cyclops identified her as an identical, and not a dual. so then i changed it to ISTp

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •