Using socionics to heal a relationship?

[Blaze]

have you ever used socionics to help you heal a relationship? if so, how? i'm thinking of important, close relationships or even work relationships (due to the closer distance at work and political pressure) more than casual friendships.

i had a healing conversation with my mom and dad. they are my benefactor and supervisor, respectively. i labelled the supervision without mentioning anything about socionics directly. my father really loves me...and now knows there is almost nothing he can tell me that will help me the way he thinks i need to be helped.

i talked about our quadra differences without talking about socionics directly. delta values: they value a Camelot lifestyle, focused on civilization, accumulation of property, buildings, wealth. as an alpha, i prefer a life style of simplicity, enjoyment, space and time to consider ideas and inventions, and some emotional drama. alphas are the hippies not delta. i talked about how some of our values are the same....others are not. that, finally, i can't be like them although i can admire their lifestyle and see why they like it. it's so tough for them to really try to let me go, but i think after all this time they finally are ready. they are ready after a protracted period of distance, after struggling with the loss of a different alpha child to a life of simplicity in costa rica, only in this emotional turmoil were they ready to consider the gestalt of what's happening to our family.

i guess it's tough for delta parents to accept the wanderings of alpha children. i would say it went well. i am feeling more hopeful than ever before!

[tiny_dancer]

I'm glad that you were able to do that. I'm sure that was a really, really hard conversation to have.

Haven't used socionics like that. I don't think I'd ever be able to explain anything clearly enough for people to get what I'm saying.

[redbaron]

I don't think I'd ever be able to explain anything clearly enough for people to get what I'm saying.

I feel the same way although I've tried to communicate some of the concepts in "regular" language. I'm not sure how understandable I was though.

[thePirate]

i guess it's tough for delta parents to accept the wanderings of alpha children. i would say it went well. i am feeling more hopeful than ever before!

lol you think thats tough?

<--beta with delta parent.

[Brilliand]

<--beta with delta parent.

One or two Delta parents? If one, what's the other one?

[Shazaam]

Yes but not directly. People are too pigheaded like the poster above me said. However, if you craftfully use a person's dual-seeking function, watch how they suddenly advocate for you and end up being on your side. It really does work. I can make my dad love me really easily with just a little concentrated effort. You can't be too obvious with it, show don't tell.

I have no doubt in my mind that the 'elite' and people in power over everybody already understand socionics very well, and can basically feed a diluted version of everybody's DS function when they read them. To think the governments of the world don't know what this is about or write it off as childsplay is really naive imo.

[Jarno]

have you ever used socionics to help you heal a relationship?

yes, I ran away from my ESE girlfriend.

[thePirate]

One or two Delta parents? If one, what's the other one?

mirror

[silverchris9]

Nope, never done this. I have maybe used socionics to reinforce decisions I might've made anyway about what style of behavior will be most effective with certain people (both positive and negative--I've purposely used Fe to annoy Fe superegos before, but I often simulate Fi or Ne to get along with people from other quadras, usually deltas), but I've never used socionics to this extent and in this way, explaining concepts without using their socionics names, etc. I might try it sometime though.

Congrats on getting to a better understanding with your parents though. That must be really nice.

lol you think thats tough?

<--beta with delta parent.

2/3, baby, if you count the stepmother. My dad's LII though. Surprisingly, I got along better with mom than my dad when I was really little, but that was probably not socionics related, unless my mom is actually EIE, which I don't think she is (but maybe). Which parent is the EIE?

[Blaze]

thank you everyone for your comments. been wanting to follow up with this thread. socionically, here's what i accomplished:

1. sorted out the supervision problem with my father and empowered him to stop "helping"
2. defined differences between alpha and delta values, their expression, and their overlap
3. interpreted the "waywardness" of my LII brother who has permanently relocated to costa rica as beneficial to the entire family
4. helped my parents look at the seeds they planted in a different way.
5. helped them understand the changed world of a divorced single mom

my convo with my father went something like this:

"dad, i am attracted to you because you are a sympathetic and understanding person. you have strengths that i don't have. everywhere, you see relationships quite clearly. who likes who, who hates who, who gets along, who doesn't get along, who's up to no good, and who cannot be trusted. you also see a lot of creative options for interacting with people.

"i can't see that information at all, or at least only in a really limited way compared to you. you try to help me understand it out of love and concern, but since i don't see what you see, i can't make any use of what you tell me. so, even though are right about what you tell me, i feel all laid out and wide open when you help....since your help feels like criticism. so i relaliate because i feel like i have to defend my self.

the people who are able to help me better with the things you want to help me with are X, Y, and Z people. somehow i can understand what they tell me a lot better. i know that you love me and i love you, but certain kinds of help works better for me when it comes from X, Y, or Z person."

quadra value discussion to follow. (out of time at the moment)