VI my mother (AGAIN)

[Creepy-sarahdxwrappd]

point taken...but she's apart of a non-demoninational church and quite proud of it. she distrusts other religious sects..and thinks they are too rigid. believe me, she's IEE...no other description fits. she's extremely bubbly...though oddly she's rather unaffectionate. she hates that i insist on having a solid timetable for events. she's spontanous...anyways, i didn't post to dispute my families type..my sister tested LSE, and said it fits her completely. so...just wanted to write my own supervision experience, that is all.

[Blaze]

IEE/ESI supervision is awful.

all supervision is awful. esp when it's magnified by parental authority.

[redbaron]

that makes a lot of sense, Vixen. I know other couples like that too.

[Satan]

that makes a lot of sense, Vixen. I know other couples like that too.

i think it's pretty common

[Blaze]

I understand that it's hard to believe my parents have been together for so long and are not duals. But they are definitely NOT duals.

For one thing, I've known a lot of INFp's, and my mom is NOT INFp, and most especially not a Beta type (according to descriptions I've read). I would say Delta is a very good fit for my mom -- ISTp or other. But ISTp is the type I believe she is (and it's the only type she actually self-identifies with).

i guess we have to trust you. you got a lot of feedback about your mother looking beta, EIE, and IEI. and it looked like you thought she was beta for a big part of this thread. this is the first post i've read where you've said that she self types as SLI. there is a higher level of credibility to someone's self typing, so that is a significant piece of information.

Beta things typically bother my mom... my dad's taste in movies/humor for instance. But that's a very minor thing, in this larger analysis.

we are all taking your father's type at face value, and there is significantly less VI opportunity for him. those pix are all of your mother. we are not questioning your father's type.....i wonder if we should contemplate other types for him?

My mom and dad were separated during a part of my teen years. Also, for a short time my dad lived in his car after my mom kicked him out. My mom threw her wedding ring out the window after considering flushing it and deciding the window into the bushes was better. My dad is constantly annoying my mom and my dad feels that my mom gets away with a lot although he is always on thin ice with her and seems to feel that is unfair, under the surface, though he rarely complains. My parents have constantly developing... I would term it "tension" more than conflict, as they tend to have learned techniques NOT to fight most of the time. But they never feel very psychologically understood or supported by one another, that I am sure of.

it sounds like your dad did something to get himself thrown out. it's not too hard to figure what if you think about it. if your parents are correctly typed as SLI and SLE, then the relation would be contrary, with an overdose of logic. it's hard to imagine this relation working. i know plenty of ILI's, for instance, and we get along due to temperament compatibility, but we emphasize completely different things and there's virtually nothing drawing us close. the distance feels large with them, and there's nothing that bring us together beyond a sort of intellectual repartee that lacks energy and vitality.

I would say they were married 10-15 years before the really bad times started, and what kept them together was religion. They were pretty devout Jehovah's Witnesses (but are not now). It took about 10 years of hell to get to the fairly peaceable relationship stage they are in now.

was it hell for them, you, or everybody? your feelings about their interaction would probably shed some light.

Now, both in their upper 50's, after having gone through a lot together, they feel so attached/loving towards one another, neither would probably ever leave. But my mom has told me privately she knows my dad is not really right for her. I don't think my dad would EVER utter those words, but I don't doubt he feels something similar. They do love each other a lot though. My parents' attitudes towards marriage is very old fashioned and so I wouldn't term theirs a "modern marriage" at all. Different circumstances and beliefs, different outcome, even though they are not duals, hence they are still together and have worked out a basically positive relationship at this point.

when i said modern marriage i meant a marriage that started in the 70's, which is also when divorce started to become more common. my theory is that socionic incompatibilities began to be less tolerated in marriage starting in the 70's. the other thing is that most marriages go through a very rough gauntlet at around the 10-15 year mark. my parents are duals (LSE & EII) and they had a very long knock down drag out between those years that culminated in my mother returning to work and as a result, everybody in the family, including my "founder of the feast" father, had to pitch in with cooking and housework.

Interesting input though!

thanks....and this is a very interesting thread. you are able to describe how people in your family feel about each other which sheds some light on relations. what i'm wondering more about is your relationship with your mother. if you are her supervisor, then you should be able to discuss her weaknesses with speed, accuracy, and deftness.

[Creepy-sarahdxwrappd]

^wow, Vixendogfox, that had to have been rough. you seem pretty well-rounded now tho , good to hear the relations in your family are somewhat better.
..for what it's worth it sounds like you've figured out your family member's types too.

[Krig the Viking]

My parents stayed together when normal people would never have, and now that they are older, there's no incentive or energy to break up. And years and years of attachment creates a fairly strong bond, imo.

Sounds similar to my parents -- EII mom and LSI dad. Both being introverts, the tension between them when I was growing up was unspoken and under the surface, so I didn't even know anything about it until I was grown up and moved out. After all of us kids had moved out, they did split up for a few months, but after all those years together, the bonds tying them together are too strong. They really do love each other, despite the personality type-related problems.

It reminds me of a song I heard on YouTube once -- "I've Grown Accustomed To Your Face".

But yeah, you're right, religion can be a very strong force holding marriages together. My parents are kind of moderate Pentecostals. Divorce was never really an option in their minds, especially when the kids were still at home, no matter how bad things got.