View Poll Results: Is attraction to intelligent people more intelligence related or type related?

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  • It's more intelligence related.

    13 92.86%
  • It's more type related.

    1 7.14%
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Thread: Attraction to intelligent people

  1. #1
    Joy's Avatar
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    Default Attraction to intelligent people

    Is this more of a functional thing or an intelligence thing? I understand it's both... intelligent people seek out other intelligent people in order to interact on their level, but is it something they think about a lot?

    I'm bringing this up because I have always been attracted to intelligence... even to the point of geekiness. Brainy people were always the coolest. When I was a kid and I played teenage mutant ninja turtles I was Don... the smart one... and Doogie Howser was one of the coolest shows. I also really liked detective shows and whatnot. The A team and Magnum PI and whatnot. Matlock. Yeah anyways...
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    Joy's Avatar
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    The ability to learn quickly, understand complex things (various subjects), and basically the "intelligent" stereotype, like Doogie Howser.
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  3. #3
    Joy's Avatar
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    Pride in one's intelligence is SUPER hot as long as they don't think they're *better* than other people (though in a way they are ).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Pride in one's intelligence is SUPER hot as long as they don't think they're *better* than other people (though in a way they are ).

    alla Mr. Darcy?
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

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    Well, one way of looking at it is to recognize that people are attracted both to likeness and to difference. These are two different impulses, both of which may qualify as a sort of "attraction." A person may find attraction to someone who thinks in similar ways as him or her, so as to be able to have a good, engaging conversation, and to feel that there's someone else with whom he or she can share certain kinds of thoughts (i.e., someone who would understand).

    On the other hand, people are often attracted to others who seem to have characteristics they perceive to be opposite their own strengths. When thinking of intelligence in this sense, it tends to have to do with intelligence stereotypes...i.e., the idea of an NT type...whereas in fact actual intelligence may be quite independent of type. (For example, one's particular configuration and preference regarding functions doesn't necessarily guarantee strength or effectiveness of various functions, or the lack thereof.)

    Probably a lot of the stereotypical "intellectual" types are attracted to people they perceive to be compassionate, or who seem more in touch with the world of the "here and now," or will appreciate them, or have an emotional response to their ideas, or stimulate them with their emotions.

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    I've read pop studies that show that people choose friends based more on likeness, but are attracted to romantic partners based more on unlikeness (presumably for the purpose of getting those genes out to a wider circle of people).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    I've read pop studies that show that people choose friends based more on likeness, but are attracted to romantic partners based more on unlikeness (presumably for the purpose of getting those genes out to a wider circle of people).
    there is plenty of data showing that relationships between similar persons are much more successful than those between radically different persons. in/out breeding are quite complicated phenomena and cannot be reduced to mere platitudes such as that in the above statement.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    I've read pop studies that show that people choose friends based more on likeness, but are attracted to romantic partners based more on unlikeness (presumably for the purpose of getting those genes out to a wider circle of people).
    there is plenty of data showing that relationships between similar persons are much more successful than those between radically different persons. in/out breeding are quite complicated phenomena and cannot be reduced to mere platitudes such as that in the above statement.
    I said "attracted to," not "successful relationships." Plus, from these studies it sounds like a fairly weak correlation.

  9. #9
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    I don't think I could stand to be around anyone whose intelligence was too far below mine (including romantic partners, I would much prefer an intellectual "equal"). I'm too impatient and the temptation to bitch is just too much

    And I'm certainly not attracted to them in the first place. I tend to ignore them for my own sanity. Too much frustration.

    (Yes, I am a bitch).

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    I cant stand stupid people either, I dont think I could have a relationship with someone who is too stupid, especially not a romantic one. Im not attrated to "geekiness" necessarily, I dont care too much about book smarts, but I can tell when someone is smart by their ability to maintain an interesting conversation.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    I said "attracted to," not "successful relationships."
    ah quite true.

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    I think intelligence seeks intelligence, if there is a correlation between type and seeking intelligence then I would guess its quite a weak one.

    A lot of things seem to work like this, the famous seek other famous people (social status seeks social status), the rich seek other rich, the attractive seek other attractive, the religious seek other religious ......... etc etc

    There are many many exceptions, but generally I think these things statistically are true.
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    How about this stereotype: Women usually seek men who are as intelligent or more intelligent than they are. Men often seek women who are as intelligent or somewhat less intelligent than they are.

    So..
    Intelligent women are very very picky and have a
    limited market of potential guys.

    Stupid women have a big market of interested guys but
    may have hard time to get respect from these guys.

    Intelligent men are very popular among most/all women.

    Stupid men are eternal bachelors and no woman
    is interested in them so they might as well go
    gay and start marrying each other.

    Of course there are exceptions to the rule and times
    are slowly changing After 100 years it might be the
    other way around...and what is intelligence anyways

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    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    How about this stereotype: Women usually seek men who are as intelligent or more intelligent than they are. Men often seek women who are as intelligent or somewhat less intelligent than they are.

    So..
    Intelligent women are very very picky and have a
    limited market of potential guys.

    Stupid women have a big market of interested guys but
    may have hard time to get respect from these guys.

    Intelligent men are very popular among most/all women.

    Stupid men are eternal bachelors and no woman
    is interested in them so they might as well go
    gay and start marrying each other.

    Of course there are exceptions to the rule and times
    are slowly changing After 100 years it might be the
    other way around...and what is intelligence anyways
    A few years ago, there were scientific studies conducted on attraction. They discovered that women who are not currently interested in settling down, are attracted masculine looking men. However, when they are interested in settling down, they are attracted to more effeminate men and when asked the kind of men they would like their daughters to date, they also said effeminate men. The conclusions the researchers drew is there are apparently some biological or psychological powers at work and that women might actually be hardwired to be attracted to men that are most likely to become good fathers for their children, hence propagate the human species.

    They did futher studies and they discovered that for women, money, power, and intelligence seemed to enhance the image of the male, and make him more handsome. I believe the experiment used is that the researchers distributed same picture of a male to a large number of women but associated different stories with the male. The stories varied widely in terms of money, power, and intelligence (for example they said things like: "He is currently CEO of ..." or "He is a cashier at ...") and they discovered that overall, the men with more power, money, or intelligence were rated as better looking. They did an analogous experiment for men and observed no such phenomenon. They concluded that those characteristics are important for women for the same reasons as the other experiment but unimportant for men. In reference to your post, what you say about men is probably incorrect. It isn't so much that they are seeking less intelligent women rather, they simply don't care and biological or psychological powers may be at work once again. Men are aware of their ability to provide for the family and given that they can supply that necessity, all they are looking for are healthy beautiful women who most likely have the best genes and hence can give them healthy children.

    I read this study a few years ago and I am recalling it completely from memory so I cannot claim it is completely accurate. However, I am sure that I have nailed the main points more or less correctly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChibiKeba
    I've never been interested in settling down, and I'm especially not interetested in having kids so I wonder why I've never been attracted to masculine wild looking men? In fact I've always found then repugnant I just wanted someone to be with and share ideas and feelings with, the whole idea of having kids is a major yuck factor with me so that's why I went after an intelligent kind effeminate guy who wouldn't try to force me into getting pregnant. I also wanted the doc's to take my tubing out but they won't because I'm too young (I.E. they're trying to force me to have flippin' kids...stupid society)
    Hmm, I think I conveyed the wrong idea to you. I should delete the word "wild" because I think it is throwing the whole idea off. Using facial modeling technology, they took photos of males and apply touches that made them slightly more masculine and slightly more effeminate. The result pictures are almost exactly the same at first glance. Only upon closer inspection can we see the differences. Hence, by masculine, I do not actually mean looking rough and vulgur but people that look just more "tough." These people probably have slightly darker skin? Maybe slightly broader jaw? Stuff like that. It is understandable that you may not be interested in rough looking men because they probably convey the impression that they are brutes and unreasonasble. However, the experiments were not carried on that level.

    I found a writeup of one of such experiments online: http://www.firstscience.com/site/art...perception.asp

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    You're saying it can't be neither?
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    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    So..
    Intelligent women are very very picky and have a
    limited market of potential guys.

    Stupid women have a big market of interested guys but
    may have hard time to get respect from these guys.

    Intelligent men are very popular among most/all women.
    While men may be intitially attrated to unintelligent women, these women cannot hold their interest. Society favors a relationship where the man is more intelligent. I think comperable intelligence makes for the ideal and healthiest relationships.
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