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Thread: Getting annoyed by beneficiary (benefit relations)

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    Default Getting annoyed by beneficiary (benefit relations)

    I don't know if i spelled that right and I don't care.

    So tell me what you think is going on here.

    We as a family have become very concerned with where our food comes from, particularly related to animals. We have made a family decision to not purchase any meat or dairy products from factory farms. We found a local farm, very close by, where we can get these things where they are produced in a much more ethical and sustainable way. My husband and I discussed everything and have all the information we need.

    So my mom hears about it and decides to weigh in. She has her own information and wants to continually tell me how wrong I am. "Amish chicken is good enough." No, we specifically will only eat free range chicken. "That meat is too expensive." No, this is how much it costs to buy meat, eggs, cheese, etc. that is produced in an ethical and sustainable way, and we're willing to pay for that. This kind of thing, over and over. Although I kind of think she might be interested and might start buying stuff from there as well. Just a feeling.

    I am hugely annoyed by the continual input of her opinion, and I think it's because I'm getting my Te needs fulfilled by my husband, and now that my mom is trying to put her Te in the mix, it's not needed. What do you think is going on from a Socionics standpoint. I am IEE, my husband is SLI, my mom is LIE.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Joy's Avatar
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    I also find my beneficiary hugely annoying. I think it's probably pretty normal.
    SEE

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    wow, really? i kinda like my beneficiary. they are usually hilarious.

    and my benefactor. very kind and supportive. their dual seeking is kind of weird to me, but not really annoying.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I sometimes find my beneficiary hilarious/enjoyable too, but it doesn't make up for their screwed up reasoning.
    SEE

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Mine would be ISFp; I love all types; I especially love how warm and creative, artsy and helpful they are.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Mine would be ISFp; I love all types; I especially love how warm and creative, artsy and helpful they are.
    Is that your beneficiary or your benefactor?
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    EIEs disturb me because of massive use of Fe.
    I disturb LSEs when I give them too much Ne.
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Families are glorious beings. Just as well we're usually genetically programmed to dig them...

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    Contrarian Traditionalist Krig the Viking's Avatar
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    I think Supervisees and Beneficiaries are most annoying when they have a (real or perceived) position of authority over us. "Why should I listen to you," we think, "when I know better than you?"
    Quaero Veritas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Krig the Viking View Post
    I think Supervisees and Beneficiaries are most annoying when they have a (real or perceived) position of authority over us. "Why should I listen to you," we think, "when I know better than you?"
    I think you're right. I've often thought that we'd get along better if the benefactor/beneficiary thing were reversed.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    I'm a Ti-Te! Skeptic's Avatar
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    She may just be becoming old and senile .
    Regardless, you could agree with her and not follow through. Or you could get your husband to have a face off and convince her that there is a more reasonable way to do things, an explanation that a base would have to have first before revamping their ideas.
    As for the beneficiary/benefactor relationship, it would be different for each type, so there would not be any universal solution.

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    I generally like SEI's and was best friends with one for about 3 years; they tend to have this "don't worry be happy" attitude towards things that can be comforting. The main problem I've had with them is a disconnect when things are not quite rosy... I like to air things out and look for some type of solution and they just can't help me there, and I'm sure it's off putting to them since they don't want to deal with the seriousness that's being projected on them.

    On the other end of benefit; I wrote about a relationship I had with an ILI once in the Gamma sub-forum a while back and it was basically about how she preferred to communicate via the Internet rather than in person and I pretty much enabled this for a while; I could see how my aversion to Se was at fault here and that I should have been more adamant in motivating her out of the situation rather than handling it passively.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krig the Viking View Post
    I think Supervisees and Beneficiaries are most annoying when they have a (real or perceived) position of authority over us. "Why should I listen to you," we think, "when I know better than you?"
    that's been my experience
    EII INFj
    Forum status: retired

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    Over the long run i would have to say these relationships are the best for long term relationship, once it past a certain stage, if one and another gel romantically. Its behind duality, but they are better than supervision, activity, yes activity, and even mirror( mirror arent really built for romance if you want warmth in the realtionship).
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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