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Thread: Emotional side and expression of ILIs-INTps

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    what a nonsensical thread. ilis have no emotions, obviously. /thread

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    Depends on who I'm with and if I think they are interesting and/or funny enough to open up to. Otherwise, I suppose I can seem blank, cold, or I've even been told I look depressed when I'm just not really engaged at all. If im still around and have a blank face, I'm probably just observing because something has caught my attention.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Do you have any experience of the ILIs around you being emotionally expressive; or not so much, or barely at all?

    Can you elaborate into the particulars of the situation?
    I know three off the top of my head. A, G, & P.

    P sometimes smiles. Very monotone, but expresses happiness subtly when he feels clever. Likes to add his two cents.
    G can get very passionate when he complains. The government! Mosanto! Conformist culture! ...bleh. He's a young cat though, i'm sure he'll grow out of it. He has go-to expressions when he's excited. Not good at realizing when he acts selfishly, but no problem enacting the emotional feeling through expression if he feels like it. Valued but weak Fi maybe?
    A is a G. He's constantly thinking about some way to accomplish an immediate goal, and often celebrates when he's successful. He'll poke and prod at people seemingly randomly and then immediately give up ground(acknowledging that he doesnt believe what he's saying) and laugh. Says things all the time that change the room atmosphere. People give him hell for it, but i laugh because awkward is hilarious to me. Especially when its on purpose.

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    I was dating an ILI once and he handed me a present for my birthday. I said oh my gosh what did you get me? He shuffled his feet and said, "Just some crappy shit..." (it was actually a couple of thoughtful gifts.)
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    I was dating an ILI once and he handed me a present for my birthday. I said oh my gosh what did you get me? He shuffled his feet and said, "Just some crappy shit..." (it was actually a couple of thoughtful gifts.)
    He felt inside the way you were expressing, exited over it, but freaking just couldn't let that out. Appearance: underwhelmed, and stupid comments come out. I get his side. Alone getting the gift and readying it for you he was "normal" --the future was bright and wonderful. That dissolved into nobody holding nothing much in front of you.
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    Inside out, outside in, inside out, outside in,
    Perpetual change"


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    There are many emotions rather than just your typical warm-hearted aww mushy feelings.

    A lot of so-called 'Logical' and 'Scientific' types actually have strong feelings. But they're often some sort of intense anger or frustration... so that's why they stereotypically feel more 'bad-ass' than your average IEI or SEI. Hatred and Anger is just every bit of a feeling as Love and Fear is.... that's why I really don't like the word 'emo' as some all purpose insult. Everybody feels deeply it's part of being a hooman. It just depends on what feelings you typically have more often than not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    There are many emotions rather than just your typical warm-hearted aww mushy feelings.

    A lot of so-called 'Logical' and 'Scientific' types actually have strong feelings. But they're often some sort of intense anger or frustration... so that's why they stereotypically feel more 'bad-ass' than your average IEI or SEI. Hatred and Anger is just every bit of a feeling as Love and Fear is.... that's why I really don't like the word 'emo' as some all purpose insult. Everybody feels deeply it's part of being a hooman. It just depends on what feelings you typically have more often than not.
    I was a friend with an ILI-Ni 4w5, she is probably one of the most emotional people that I have met. By this I mean that she felt her emotions so strongly that she started shaking physically. There certainly was more emotionally deep than just anger. She seemed to feel more classic enneagram 4 emotions. Her "badassery" was extended to for example give some girl the finger in response to driving by and waving. I asked her why she did that and all I got out from her was "I don't know...", and when I asked the girl in the car if there had been any conflict between the two she was just clueless to what caused the ILI's behaviour. It certainly wasn't badass, it was just silly.

    Secondly, not everyone does feel deeply. Psychopaths are the prime example of this.


    On topic, she wasn't expressive as is meant by the more theatrical Fe, but she did talk very much about events relating to how she feels. The most outward expressions was an "awwh" and an unexpected hug when I talked about the breakup I went through at the time, plus the angry/resentful gurns that she made when I teased her "with the use of" Fe. It looked something like this with the difference that she so clearly was irritated at me.

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    Emotion's got a wide spectrum of siblings. From the most negative end to the most positive end, so to speak. For example, in no specific order: sadness, hatred, guilt, fear, anger, shame, concern, content, resentment, courage, joy, affection, happiness, and so on.

    I agree with some of the things @truck said. It's just that we tend to favour certain items when it comes to emotion. Some people favour anger. Some shame and sadness. Some joy, thrill and exuberant expression of certain passion. We all have different canals for emotional communication. So those who favour anger would feel anger very deeply while not feeling other emotions with the same depth. It can't mean they don't feel any emotion at all. Anger is still an emotion.

    AFAIK, psychopaths feel much anger. That's like the only emotion they can feel the most and the deepest. In general. Oh and this doesn't mean people who favour anger are somewhat like psychopath or something.

    About ILIs and their emotional expression: I don't think I know enough ILIs to have an opinion about that, so...

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    Emotionally constrained my ass. Every time I smile at an SLI / ILI, they always smile back very nicely.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    Emotionally constrained my ass. Every time I smile at an SLI / ILI, they always smile back very nicely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    Emotionally constrained my ass. Every time I smile at an SLI / ILI, they always smile back very nicely.

    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts. -Carl Corey(Corwin)CC


    Merlin has a very different personality than his father and, oddly enough considering his upbringing, considers himself to be a "regular guy". He lacks both the ruthlessness and the crudity of Prince Corwin, and seems to be almost allergic to ambition, a rare trait considering his parentage. Merlin has dark hair and light eyes. His colours are purple and gray, although he also uses the blue and gold colours of Berkeley, where he studied Computer Science on Shadow Earth.

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    This thread is soooo emo.
    "[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan

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    I think some ILI's try to be out of social expectation. But for the most part they almost never tell you they like you.

    My ILI friend married an EIE who constantly drilled verbal affirmation out of him to the point that he went crazy and they divorced. He must have learned that a lot of people need that from others, and he one day came up to me and said, "I don't tell very many people how I feel about them, but I enjoy hanging out with you and think you're one of the coolest people here."

    <3

    Anyway I can see emotions shifting in people so I usually don't need that from them, but yes, I can see their emotions when they are standing before me.

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    My mommy is ILI. Her father passed on yesterday and I called her to talk to her and gage her emotions to see if she was doing ok.

    She went on and on about how my grandfather kept saying that he was so proud that he had such wonderful kids and my mom kept telling me "honey, I love you guys so much. I have such wonderful kids. My father used to say about how wonderful we were and I thought I look at you guys now and I think what wonderful kids I have." She goes on and on about some points that stick out to her as she holds back tears but mostly my mother takes it out on herself physically, she doesn't eat well when she's depressed and sad, she makes herself physically quite ill. I'll have to ask my brother, her dual, to go and monitor her senses.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    In my personal experience ILI's are much better at expressing negative emotins that positive ones. The only positive they seem to be be ok with expressing is contentment, anything more than that is a ILI faux pas. Sadness is also not ok because it is not productive.

    Things that are ok to express for ILI's. Annoyance, Irritability, being cross and anger.

    Also, dry witted remarks and sarcasm.


    Edit: Love does not exist in the spoken word in ILI world, it is only expressed physically.

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Geminatronix View Post
    In my personal experience ILI's are much better at expressing negative emotins that positive ones. The only positive they seem to be be ok with expressing is contentment, anything more than that is a ILI faux pas. Sadness is also not ok because it is not productive.

    Things that are ok to express for ILI's. Annoyance, Irritability, being cross and anger.

    Also, dry witted remarks and sarcasm.


    Edit: Love does not exist in the spoken word in ILI world, it is only expressed physically.
    I express love through my actions and these actions are not necessarily physical. I can't speak for all ILIs though :/
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts. -Carl Corey(Corwin)CC


    Merlin has a very different personality than his father and, oddly enough considering his upbringing, considers himself to be a "regular guy". He lacks both the ruthlessness and the crudity of Prince Corwin, and seems to be almost allergic to ambition, a rare trait considering his parentage. Merlin has dark hair and light eyes. His colours are purple and gray, although he also uses the blue and gold colours of Berkeley, where he studied Computer Science on Shadow Earth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Geminatronix View Post
    In my personal experience ILI's are much better at expressing negative emotins that positive ones. The only positive they seem to be be ok with expressing is contentment, anything more than that is a ILI faux pas. Sadness is also not ok because it is not productive.

    Things that are ok to express for ILI's. Annoyance, Irritability, being cross and anger.

    Also, dry witted remarks and sarcasm.


    Edit: Love does not exist in the spoken word in ILI world, it is only expressed physically.
    Negative emotions? In my experience they’re the most potent and therefore the easiest to express. I think this is true for many. Anger is difficult to control and how pissed off would you be if you already knew it was going to happen and you did it anyway?

    ILI are not emo, we’re jaded. I love the song "wish you were here"
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts. -Carl Corey(Corwin)CC


    Merlin has a very different personality than his father and, oddly enough considering his upbringing, considers himself to be a "regular guy". He lacks both the ruthlessness and the crudity of Prince Corwin, and seems to be almost allergic to ambition, a rare trait considering his parentage. Merlin has dark hair and light eyes. His colours are purple and gray, although he also uses the blue and gold colours of Berkeley, where he studied Computer Science on Shadow Earth.

  18. #98

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Do you have any experience of the ILIs around you being emotionally expressive; or not so much, or barely at all?

    Can you elaborate into the particulars of the situation?

    ILIs along with SLIs are some of the most emotional people I've ever met. It's that Fi Hidden Agenda, it's so much a part of them that it leaks through in everything they do. ILIs usually express it by advising others about what won't work (base ), and offer practical help (creative ). They can be very funny, witty and kind around people they trust. ILIs have suggestive so unconsciously they try to provoke confrontation in others, but this isn't out of hatred for others but out of a desire to draw out the strongest forces in the environment, and work with them to achieve some higher goal (Gamma objectives).

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    Quote Originally Posted by ConcreteButterfly View Post
    ILIs along with SLIs are some of the most emotional people I've ever met. It's that Fi Hidden Agenda, it's so much a part of them that it leaks through in everything they do. ILIs usually express it by advising others about what won't work (base ), and offer practical help (creative ). They can be very funny, witty and kind around people they trust. ILIs have suggestive so unconsciously they try to provoke confrontation in others, but this isn't out of hatred for others but out of a desire to draw out the strongest forces in the environment, and work with them to achieve some higher goal (Gamma objectives).
    Yes! This is a very insightful post. My lovely ILI boyfriend used to say that I was being "fake" whenever I wasn't getting "emotional", so he would just try to provoke me into getting "emotional". Unfortunately, it would just make me "angry" and unhappy with him. Now, I simply have to "remind" him that I don't use Fi as well as he does, so I'm not being "fake" if I don't express Fi "emotion". I'm being Fe...

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    The ILI that I know of is very idiosyncratic with his emotions. Honestly, they are expressive. They use body language and facial expressions to show their emotions. God forbid they have to explain themselves. Lol then you gotta pull that info out of them.
    For example, when they are in rage they rant. When they find something funny they chuckle. Like, they are people who like to suppress their emotions, but they still feel and express stuff. Key word: subtle. They don't say how they feel. They show how they feel.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ConcreteButterfly View Post
    ILIs along with SLIs are some of the most emotional people I've ever met. It's that Fi Hidden Agenda, it's so much a part of them that it leaks through in everything they do. ILIs usually express it by advising others about what won't work (base ), and offer practical help (creative ). They can be very funny, witty and kind around people they trust. ILIs have suggestive so unconsciously they try to provoke confrontation in others, but this isn't out of hatred for others but out of a desire to draw out the strongest forces in the environment, and work with them to achieve some higher goal (Gamma objectives).
    I can agree with this. I want the people I love to succeed and be happy, so much so that I'd gladly fail in my endeavors if in doing so I ensure their success. What you say is also kinda theological. God may well allow a demon to tempt you, but only because he knows that said temptation will cause you to pay closer attention to that specific area in you life and thus increase the odds of you realizing you need to do something about that...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Textbook Fe seeking.
    Really. I embarrassingly do this often; I never made the connection.
    Cattle die; kinsmen die;
    Thyself too soon will die;
    One thing, I ween, shall never die:
    Fair fame for one who has earned.

    Cattle die; kinsmen die;
    Thyself too soon must die;
    One thing, I ween, shall never die:
    The doom over each one’s head.


  23. #103

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    I live with an ILI-Ni, and I would even dare call myself her friend. She does seem rather reserved and subdued when she is around the people outside of her immediate circle – to the point she almost seems like an android more than a human – yet when she is with her in-group, her emotions pour out wildly and, I would say, with very little control at all. "Binary" is the word that would describe it the best, in my opinion. If she is happy, she is ecstatic; if she is angry, she is furious; if she is sad, the end of the world is coming; if she is worried about something, it is a full-blown anxiety. There simply is no middle ground between having no (or very subdued and subtle) emotion and having ALL of the emotion for her, as far as I am concerned.
    Most likely the most negative alpha you have met
    My life experiences may be tainted by living with an LII and an ILI I lovingly call Satan.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carnaedy View Post
    I live with an ILI-Ni, and I would even dare call myself her friend. She does seem rather reserved and subdued when she is around the people outside of her immediate circle – to the point she almost seems like an android more than a human – yet when she is with her in-group, her emotions pour out wildly and, I would say, with very little control at all. "Binary" is the word that would describe it the best, in my opinion. If she is happy, she is ecstatic; if she is angry, she is furious; if she is sad, the end of the world is coming; if she is worried about something, it is a full-blown anxiety. There simply is no middle ground between having no (or very subdued and subtle) emotion and having ALL of the emotion for her, as far as I am concerned.
    I will have to concur with this binary assessment of my type. If we trust you, and I mean really trust you, we drop our mask and show you our intense emotions and to hell with how you may potentially screw us over. We trust you, please value that. If not? Then poker face...
    Last edited by End; 05-17-2019 at 07:58 AM.

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    I think everybody has basic emotions; it's just that Fe Polrs don't care for mimicking or playing off the emotions of other people. Maybe a lack of mirror neurons or something.
    Androgynous Robot Dreamer - Not really human, but good at pretending.

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    blame the merry quadras

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    I can tell you LIE. I'm like a Mr. Miyagi who has no ability to do Karate. When doing the code, make sure you have the ability to type coherently. Thus I make myself type pretty much whenever I can. Got my WPM up too. Yeah, sure this has nothing to do with emotions first in, but then you realize I want to succeed. Thus, I think I need to practice skills I am bad at. But then why do I want to succeed? That's where all the emotion resides. That's the interesting story. I won't tell it though, it's a pretty sad story.

    Other option is I'm a mistyped ISFj or ESFp. It's more likely than you think, but then I can say that case, I've been mistaking cognitive functions for other cognitive functions, and the chance of incorrect type practically quadruples, because the concept of ethical, logical, sensory, and intuitive are misunderstood. But minding that theory out of the way as a not true... I think you can get the romanticism of me.

    Also, mirroring is great, I just need to figure out what they're thinking first, and that's easier done with the word than the image. I am trying to figure it out though, see my newest theory on that, which I will check for responses.

    Also, as an Fi valuing man-child, note I care immensely that you do not like what I said, I probably even know why you don't like it, however, hindsight is a cruel judge.
    Figured it out. LIE. I'm extraverted, which is incredibly counter intuitive for a person who doesn't tend to go out much. Don't know how often I'll be on, but don't expect me to respond often. Only option I'm willing to debate is Si vs Ni right now. Mission accomplished.

  27. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dalek Caan View Post
    I think everybody has basic emotions; it's just that Fe Polrs don't care for mimicking or playing off the emotions of other people. Maybe a lack of mirror neurons or something.
    Specifically activating mirror neurons would be my guess. I know SLI who can "mirror neuron himself" into athlete's body. I think that many more empathetical types lack this specific style of mirroring.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
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    Was in a longterm relationship with an ILI. They would get excited and interested about all sorts of things, but when it came to their emotions, either positive or negative, they were always ice cold and extremely reserved. In a lot of ways it was really good for balancing out my Fi/Se volatility, but when their real emotions would come out it was always seemingly non-negotiable AND they were disinterested in discussing or analyzing them.

    They could definitely be expressive and were super vocal about their opinions, but emotionally impenetrable to my Fi.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    what a nonsensical thread. ilis have no emotions, obviously. /thread
    It only seems that way. It's actually very strong, but we've leaned the hard way to suppress that aspect. Emotions are easily manipulated by others, hence, why we try to poker face through interpersonal interactions. The more the other person acts on the assumption that we're a cold hearted emotionless robot the better. If, somehow, they grasped upon the fact that our emotions are rather intense they may be able to screw us over hard. Thankfully (or sadly, depending on your perspective), rare is the person who grasps how emotional my type is.

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    umm.....k

    Quote Originally Posted by Alomoes View Post
    I can tell you LIE. I'm like a Mr. Miyagi who has no ability to do Karate. When doing the code, make sure you have the ability to type coherently. Thus I make myself type pretty much whenever I can. Got my WPM up too. Yeah, sure this has nothing to do with emotions first in, but then you realize I want to succeed. Thus, I think I need to practice skills I am bad at. But then why do I want to succeed? That's where all the emotion resides. That's the interesting story. I won't tell it though, it's a pretty sad story.

    Other option is I'm a mistyped ISFj or ESFp. It's more likely than you think, but then I can say that case, I've been mistaking cognitive functions for other cognitive functions, and the chance of incorrect type practically quadruples, because the concept of ethical, logical, sensory, and intuitive are misunderstood. But minding that theory out of the way as a not true... I think you can get the romanticism of me.

    Also, mirroring is great, I just need to figure out what they're thinking first, and that's easier done with the word than the image. I am trying to figure it out though, see my newest theory on that, which I will check for responses.

    Also, as an Fi valuing man-child, note I care immensely that you do not like what I said, I probably even know why you don't like it, however, hindsight is a cruel judge.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    I was dating an ILI once and he handed me a present for my birthday. I said oh my gosh what did you get me? He shuffled his feet and said, "Just some crappy shit..." (it was actually a couple of thoughtful gifts.)
    I know a male ILI who does this a lot--downplaying anything he has put a lot of thought, time or creativity into. It's frustrating because I can't tell if he does it to downplay his achievements/be humble or if it's because he's unhappy with the final products that never seem to live up to what he envisioned.

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    ILI emotional states usually depend on how they feel that they fit in with or are treated by others. ILIs love intimacy, playfulness and joke telling but their emotions are often so poorly controlled - silliness is at one extreme while heated vitriol is at the other and for some, there's little in between. When in high spirits and safe environments, they can be really exuberant, obsessive and or intrusive although they tend to frown upon these characteristics in others.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carnaedy View Post
    I live with an ILI-Ni, and I would even dare call myself her friend. She does seem rather reserved and subdued when she is around the people outside of her immediate circle – to the point she almost seems like an android more than a human – yet when she is with her in-group, her emotions pour out wildly and, I would say, with very little control at all. "Binary" is the word that would describe it the best, in my opinion. If she is happy, she is ecstatic; if she is angry, she is furious; if she is sad, the end of the world is coming; if she is worried about something, it is a full-blown anxiety. There simply is no middle ground between having no (or very subdued and subtle) emotion and having ALL of the emotion for her, as far as I am concerned.
    this certainly describes my ILI friend to a tee. An almost childlike expression of emotional states punctuated by long stretches of emotionless, Vulcan-like demeanor.

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