I would say bossiness is poor Se, clever Se controls you without you thinking it or knowing about it. I met a Se-ego today (Most likely my dual) and she just totally covered up the external physical reality for me, it was very pleasing and energetic for me. However it was natural, she just took over she wasn't all 'get on your knees fag' like people say sles are. (not that I'd mind that per se) But to me like bossiness or being aggravated at somebody, is like wanting somebody *else* to use Se, but you're not good at it yourself.
Anyways I think this has already been discussed to death so I'd just like to point that out.