Bossiness is actually poor Se

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I would say bossiness is poor Se, clever Se controls you without you thinking it or knowing about it. I met a Se-ego today (Most likely my dual) and she just totally covered up the external physical reality for me, it was very pleasing and energetic for me. However it was natural, she just took over she wasn't all 'get on your knees fag' like people say sles are. (not that I'd mind that per se) But to me like bossiness or being aggravated at somebody, is like wanting somebody *else* to use Se, but you're not good at it yourself.

Anyways I think this has already been discussed to death so I'd just like to point that out.

[Suz]

I usually think of ESTj and ENTj as bossy. Maybe ENTp sometimes. ESTp's bossiness does not come across as bossy from what i've seen. it's more like, let's get this done together. They will tend to do what they want though, but when they were wrong they will admit it.

[Azeroffs]

Good Se is knowing when to be bossy imo. Knowing the right way to put pressure on someone.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Yeah but straight-out bossiness is just unproductive, even an ESTj should know that. So in my mind a frustrated non-se valuer uses bossiness or power games to try and control what they're fed up with. I'm not sure if I ever felt the estj confliction was 'bossiness' per se. It was more like .... blah. I just didn't like them. =/ It's hard for me to even say why now that I think about it. I just know we clashed.

[Azeroffs]

I think most of the time ETjs don't realize they're being bossy. They just want you to do something so they tell you to do it.

ESj's get most bossy out of the types since Se 'leaks' from them in a sense.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Yes I think you're on to something there. It's that 'leaked Se' I don't like much at all. It's like they can't just be naturally self-confident with the Se, it has to leak out to others and them expect other people to be that way too, or something. SLE is more just like 'whatever man I'll do that' and they just do it , because they so naturally want to do it, it's much more self-contained and not leaky.

[tcaudilllg]

Se id believes that everyone should take control of their own lives. People should never try to control others but only agree to be controlled.

Some ESTps can be brash as a means of making clear who's really in charge of the situation. They want to understand who has the power, not necessarily to take power for themselves. However, assertive ESTps will deduce who has the power first, and then exert force over the people who they believe don't have power or the will to resist, effectively taking control of them.

[Aramas]

I would say bossiness is poor Se, clever Se controls you without you thinking it or knowing about it. I met a Se-ego today (Most likely my dual) and she just totally covered up the external physical reality for me, it was very pleasing and energetic for me. However it was natural, she just took over she wasn't all 'get on your knees fag' like people say sles are. (not that I'd mind that per se) But to me like bossiness or being aggravated at somebody, is like wanting somebody *else* to use Se, but you're not good at it yourself.

Anyways I think this has already been discussed to death so I'd just like to point that out.

I believe this is correct. I know this is an old thread, but I wanted to highlight it. Whenever I've dealt with Se dominant types, I've noticed that they didn't really seem overbearing. They were so skilled at using Se that they basically just flowed like water. You could tell that there was a strong will there, and that they could exercise it. But they don't tend to use fear for example as a way of getting what they want, because it's not necessary for them to scare people to get what they want. They're that good at Se.

I knew an SLE who was so great at breaking the concentration of others that he basically just had to walk over and say something and it was done. Whatever the person in question had in mind to begin with was completely gone.

Se dominants are like the magnanimous givers of many things. They are top dog and they know it, so they can afford to relax and be nice.

Bossiest people I've known have been ENjs.

[Sol]

heretics which rationalize mass mistypings by unholly nonsense

[Beautiful sky]

ESTJ are pretty darn bossy so can ISTJ be pretty darn aggressive and like a bull in a china shop

[SGF]

not even my role Se is bossy, more along the lines of "I like my independence, fuck off and never ever tell me wtf to do again "

Bossiness is clumsy imo. Se base are natural leaders, not bosses.

[sbbds]

Stereotypically, Te leads are bossy. People who tell you to do things to achieve some (Se or Ne HA) means, without sugar coating it. Followed by Fe leads.

Se leads have Te or Fe HA. We want to show our own competence in some practical or social way usually, so we are more likely to focus on looking competent ourselves, rather than making others do things for us.

I don’t try to involve people in group projects. I just look good and do things well, until people come up to me and ask me how I do it. Then I can charge them to be taught lol.

[Aster]

I can be bossy around certain people, it varies.

[Aramas]

[strrrng]

I still think the original critique holds. It's not that Se-egos can never be bossy, just that the way they use Se isn't as imposing as some make it out to be. To me, whatever "force" they express always seems like a reaction to their environment, like they're just trying to establish boundaries, not really dominate anything. And this isn't to say that all LSEs are bossy or whatever—as someone mentioned, Ni-EJs can exhibit it quite a bit as well. But from my Se-seeking pov, it's when it is somewhere outside the ego block that it gets more distorted.